Chapter 3
The day of -- part 1.
Bella was running again. Momentum carried her forward down the dark, infinite corridor. Her legs were getting tired. Her clothes were so hard to move in. She tore at it, and the tatters of her wedding dress fell by the wayside.
Yes...
She felt like she could move again. But there was something else. The shapes were still gaining on her. She pushed harder, but it was no good.
Your ring...
She looked down. That was what it was. Her engagement ring was
so
heavy. She started tugging on it, but it was stuck.
Keep going...
She pulled and she pulled. The sounds of people drawing close were getting louder. She twisted the ring, until it finally started moving. She pulled it off and threw it aside.
Yes, good girl... be a good little bitch...
Her pace quickened. The voices grew more distant from behind her. She was free! Up ahead, she saw a room. A hotel room, maybe. She wasted no time, and entered it.
The man was there. The handsome man. He dangled his long pocket watch in front of her eyes, and she fell to her knees.
"Please..." she said.
You belong here...
Bella woke to the smell of coffee. She was sweating in spite of the cool morning air.
"Still having trouble getting rested, huh?" said Mark. She slowly opened her eyes. He stood over her holding a yellow keep-cup she'd been favoring recently. She smiled.
"Yeah. Some of these dreams have been..." she began.
Been what?
They certainly hadn't been getting any less vivid.
He sat down on the bed next to her and placed the coffee on the bedside table.
"It's ok," he said, then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Everything's going to be perfect."
She continued to smile, with one hand tugging gently on her ring. When she noticed she was doing it, she suddenly tensed up.
"Babe?"
"Oh, it's um, it's nothing."
To avoid too much last minute panic, she'd left plenty of time between appointments. Her newly restored dress and all of the accessories were laid out carefully in the front room, and her hair and makeup people were coming just after noon.
Her mother had suggested that she take a nice long bath with scented candles as a preemptive strike on the wedding day nerves, and she had intended to do just that, but something was clawing at her. Her fingers were straying again. Her thoughts were straying again. What if this creep comes back and tries to do something funny during the ceremony? Maddy had promised to look out for her, but could she really guarantee that nothing was going to happen?
It would be easier to just run.
She pushed the thought out of her head. She needed to stop and think. She walked into the study sat down. She knew exactly what could help her focus. She picked up the deck of cards and started to shuffle. She dealt the cards into piles, then flipped the cards one by one and started to play.
Solitaire was such a relaxing game.
The three can go there... The two can-
She saw it. The Queen of Hearts.
She knew what she had to do.
Half an hour later, in the cool morning air outside her friend's apartment, Isobel felt relief. She ran her hands over the cool metal of the pistol.
"You're sure about this?" said Maddy.
She nodded.
"I just don't think I'll feel safe unless I know where it is. I'm sorry. I know it's probably not wise but..."
"Hey, it's ok. I made a promise and I'm going to keep it."
"Thanks Maddy. It really means a lot," said Isobel, smiling.
Having retrieved her self defense gun, Bella thought she had everything completely under control. But an hour later, sitting in a chair having her makeup applied by a professional, she found herself once again plagued with doubts and anxieties.
"It's ok," said Alyssa. "It's completely normal to have wedding day jitters. I see it all the time."
Alyssa was doing a great job. Bella really had no complaints there.
"Yeah, I know. I didn't think it was going to get to me so much," Bella replied.
"Getting married is a big step," said Alyssa. "It's like a new life stage and all that."
Bella thought about it.
"I do
want
to get married. The thought of marriage itself doesn't bother me at all," she said.
It was true. She could picture her ceremony as clear as day. The cathedral they'd booked had beautiful stained glass windows and just an incredible architectural style. All of her friends and family there -- even the ones she secretly hated. She would be walked down the aisle by her secret master, held by the leash, crawling on her hands and knees, ready to be given away to a big, strong, powerful man.
Wait, what?
She shook her head.
"You wouldn't be the first woman to marry somebody she wasn't sure about. But don't worry about it, nobody really knows what they're doing 'till their second marriage anyway," Alyssa said, chuckling slightly.
Alicia laughed politely.
"No, Mark is really super great. Sometimes he's slack on the laundry I guess. But..." said Bella. What was great about Mark again? She loved Mark, she'd never felt this way about anybody before. So why was she struggling to think about what she liked about him?
"But?"
Alarm bells were going off in her head again. She could feel
something
there, stopping her from getting to where she wanted to go.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about today. He's..." she said, straining.
What was he? It was like the connection between the idea of Mark and her feelings about him had road blocks placed between them. Could she get there another way?
She searched back in her mind for specific memories. That early flirting, finding excuses to hang out with each other. The day he asked her out. Their first anniversary. When she helped him through the death of his brother. The week in Paris. The proposal. Him helping her through her own fears and anxieties.
It was all still there. She felt relief. She started psyching herself up.
It's too late to turn back now. Even if it would just be easier to run away
.
Before too long, it was time.
Her bridesmaids had helped her get into the dress. Mark's cousin had come through incredibly well. He actually had to replace part of the dress, but he'd manage to integrate it more or less seamlessly. She was standing in front of the tall mirror, flanked by her bridesmaids.
"You look
amazing
," said Jasmine. All the others nodded in agreement.
Despite her earlier trepidation, she was feeling great.