The Good Housemaster

Chapter Six

September 5th, 1976

Steadily, I use my cane to leave the central lobby of Westminster. Why these marble floors? It's difficult enough to get around as it is. Not to mention that I find it hard on my back. The concrete is only slightly better outside. I wouldn't have made the trip to see Alan if it weren't for my other plans today. Turning for Charring Cross, I smile as two familiar figures climb into view from the station. Dorothy's blue eyes crinkle at me through her tortoiseshell glasses.

"Hiya Kate!"

Natalie is all smiles as well. That is until her dark almond eyes glance at my cane. "You still need that?"

I give a quick shrug. "For long walks. I'm still getting doctors' opinions, but there's little they can do, it seems."

"At least you don't need the brace any longer." The shorter woman looks around. "Let's get seated somewhere with some grass."

"Exactly what I was thinking. Whitehall Gardens?" The three of us start walking toward the Thames and begin to catch up. "I heard Lauren finally received her degree."

Dorothy nods. "The last of us. Four years late, but still..."

I understand completely. We all needed time to; recover. "I'm glad. We can all put that chapter behind us." Crossing Northumberland as fast as I can, I'm still nearly run down by a hackney. The driver sounds his horn even though I'm at the crosswalk. "Oi! You tosser!" I yell back. The other two give them the 'V' sign, and we continue into the park at our leisure. "Somebody who thinks they're important, no doubt."

"Like your father?"

I smirk at Natalie. "Yeah. Although he's mellowing out in his old age now that Alan's directing staff for him."

"Even with them going into the minority?"

"Yeah, well, the Iron Bitch is now in control. Most of my dad's work will go out the window, it seems."

"We're all for her."

I blink hard. "Thatcher voted for public birchings for chrissake!"

Natalie shrugs. "She also supported ending the prohibition of gay relationships."

I pause a moment and glance at them. "I can see how that could be important to you."

Dorothy finds a bench, and we sit where the trees hang over us. "Speaking of relationships, are you and Alan... I mean; are you together?"

"Yes. About a year now."

"What's that like?" they both ask at the same time. The two women look at each other and laugh.

"You two. Well, he's sweet. Honest to a fault. Works hard..."

"No, you fool," Natalie says, interrupting me. "You know. What's he 'like'?"

I sigh, realizing what they want to know. "We haven't really done much." They glance at each other in disbelief. "I know. It's been a while since we've been intimate..."

Natalie puts a hand on mine. "Is there something wrong with him?"

"Well..."

"Out with it."

I try to think back. "It's me. Alan had been by my side through the entire process. I've just been cleared to stop using the back brace, and we had a bit of a celebration. The two of us went on what I realized was our first real date together. It was a wonderful evening, and we really opened up. I felt wonderful. Then we got to his place, and..."

"Go on!" they both urge.

"I blacked out."

The two women's mouths drop. "When he...?"

"Right before then. I just felt so excited! I never felt so alive! We were kissing passionately and fell on the bed. And then..."

"Yes?"

I shrug. "I can't remember much after that. When I came to, a nurse was over me saying I nearly had a cardiac event. After that, Alan and I've been; waiting."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

Natalie looks at me with understanding. "That must be hard for you. How did Alan react?"

"His usual self. Understanding. Caring. But he's buried himself in his work now, and we barely talk."

Dorothy studies me through her glasses. "It's important work."

"Yes. It's getting nowhere, though. The bureaucracy has captured the halls. He convinces one group, and another department steps in for a new study. It goes on and on." I stare down at the cobblestones below my aching feet. "But there you have it."

"We're sorry, Kate. We didn't mean to bring bad memories up."

I smile wanly. "Don't worry about me. I'm tough."

"We know."

The three of us all sit in silence for a moment, and I realize they are waiting for me. Slowly, I rise, getting my cane. "So, you're off to a meeting?"

Natalie nods with some nervousness. "We're pleading a case before a justice. Hopefully our barrister can convince him to make our relationship more official."

I lean in and hug each of them. "If you need any help from my father's office, don't hesitate to ask."

"Of course. We'll call to let you know how it goes."

I watch as the two walk away. They were inseparable, and yet out here, they stand a foot apart. Never touching. Just like me and Alan. A melancholy seeps into me as I start to make my way back home. Two sets of people linked by events in our past are still separated by forces out of our control.

Taking out my key, I enter the small flat and turn on a lamp. Sinking into an overstuffed chair, I take my shoes off and let my toes intertwine with the thick shag carpet. Slowly, I let out a sigh. I'm getting better. Every month, I can go longer and farther. As my heart settles down, I begin to relax, and a new sound pervades my senses. The clock. My gift to Alan so long ago. I can't remember all that much from then. Nothing much more than the numbness that started that fateful day. Sherman has one year left of his sentence, last I heard. My father had seen to that.

Now there's Alan. Always there for me. He has the right goals. He's driven, and I respect him for that. But it's not enough. Now that I'm getting better, I don't need a caregiver. I need; more. I need to get on with my own purpose. If not along Alan's side, then on my own. I guess we'll have a long discussion soon...

The phone rings, and I start. I guess I'd fallen asleep. Grabbing the receiver, I try to sound coherent. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kate. I just got off the phone with Natalie."

I blink the sleepiness out of my eyes. "Lauren?"

"Yeppers. I heard about what's going on, and I think I have an idea."

"About what exactly?"

"Your problem. With Alan."

My eyebrows knit. So much for private conversations. "What on earth are you on about?"

"We all need to get together tonight while Natalie and Dorothy are still in town."

"Hold on. Hold on. Alan will be here soon, and I don't want to leave again to talk about this."

"Of course not, Kate. In fact, it's imperative that he be there. I swear, this is important."

I can hear her intensity over the phone. "Alright then. I'll tell Alan that we'll be waiting." Hanging up, I sit there, wondering what Lauren thought was so urgent that it required everyone to come over. Well, the place is mostly clean anyway.

Gathering some saucers, I take them to the kitchen and begin rinsing them. Just as I set them into the drainer, Alan comes in looking tired. He immediately frowns at me.

"Those could have waited. Let me finish."

I match his expression. "It's handled. And we're having company."

"What?"

"It seems the Future Knights are coming over. They want to talk."

That perks up Alan a bit. "I haven't seen them for months. What about?"

I bite the inside of my cheek. "I was talking with Dorothy and Natalie after I left your office. I told them about our problems."

Alan's eyes lock on me. "Problems?"

He's denying it. Is he trying to protect my feelings? "After the 'event'?"

The early thirty-year-old man rubs his fingers through the red stubble on his face. "Look, honey. I swear, after the doctor gives the all clear, everything will get back to normal."

I snort. "Nothing has ever been normal with us, Alan. Not after our date. You don't even touch me anymore."

His breath freezes, and he looks down at his hands. "I know. I just want to be sure next time."

I take a step forward, and my heart sinks as he backs away. "What are you doing? We can't go on like this."

"I'm sorry. Just a little more time is what we need."

There it is. He won't be honest with me. There's something he's afraid of, and a wall is between us. "You better clean up. They'll be over soon." Alan takes the chance and leaves the room quickly. Feeling my eyes threaten to tear up, I grab a saucer. I will not cry. I promised myself never to cry since secondary. I'm tough. I'm independent. And yet... I realize now I'm in denial. My heart's breaking right in two, and I slam down the dish, chipping it.

I sigh as the expected knock comes. Wiping my hands, I pause to give myself a moment. Setting the best expression on my face, I go open the door. All three ladies look at me and then glance at each other.

"You okay?" Natalie asks cautiously.

"As always. So Lauren, what is it you had to talk about on such short notice?"

The well-proportioned woman looks down at me. "Can we come in first?"

I wave them in. "Sorry to not have anything ready. Alan is in the back, freshening up." The ladies settle in, appearing a bit concerned. That's not quite right. I'm not sure, but maybe it's a bit of extra nervous energy between the three of them. Lauren finally speaks up.

"I'd just called Dorothy, and she told me about your visit."

I fold my arms. "What a coincidence."

"Well, yes, I was a bit curious. They mentioned you were having problems."

Sighing, I shake my head. So much for a heart-to-heart with my partner. They were here to try to fix things. "I have to do this my way, Lauren. Don't put Alan on the defensive since this is my problem."

"But you're wrong, Kate." Lauren points to the bedroom. "He's dangerous."

"What?!" I almost laugh at her overly dramatic whisper. "Alan? He's the most kind, gentle man I know."

"You're also blind. Or blind to what he does to us."

I arch an eyebrow. "What, may I ask, does he do to you?"

All three of them share a look. It seems it's Dorothy's turn. "I know this makes no logical sense, but when we're around him, he just... Well..."

"He has a presence."

My eyes shift to my quiet Asian friend. Her earnest face takes me by surprise. "What kind of presence?"

Lauren leans forward in her chair. "You honestly don't feel it?"

"What doesn't she feel?" We all jump as Alan enters the room, clean-shaven and in a button-down paisley shirt. There's a long moment of silence where Lauren's mouth hangs open, and I try to subtly wave her off. The redheaded man rakes his drying hair. "A secret, then? Well, I'll just go to the kitchen and let you talk." The three women start laughing, and he turns back.

"So considerate," Lauren titters. "It's about you, Alan."

"Oh?"

"Your effect on us."

"My what?"

I immediately notice Alan's guarded expression. With growing suspicion, I glance over to my three friends sitting around the room who are all studying the man.

"He knows. And when he touches us..." Natalie bites her lip.

Lauren stands up quickly. "Not always. I bet right now nothing much happens." Alan takes a step back, but the curly brunette reaches out in a flash. They hold each other's hands for a moment, and then she lets hers drop away. "See?"

"See what?" I ask impatiently. "All I see are my friends who've lost the plot right now! Alan, tell them they're crazy!" I wait for him to laugh or get mad. Instead, all I see is awkwardness and a hesitancy so unlike the man. "Alan?"

"I don't know what they're talking about..."

I look at him in growing disbelief. He's avoiding eye contact. "What are you hiding from me?"

"I can't describe it, Katie. I don't feel anything... I mean, I don't feel anything weird about myself. It's just others act..."

"Wierd." Lauren tilts her head. "How do you feel, Alan?"

Natalie leans forward, staring intensely. "He's miserable. That's probably why we can't feel anything."

My anger flares. "So you're saying being with me makes him miserable?!"

The smaller woman waves her arms playcatingly. "No! Of course not!"

"Ladies!" We all turn to Alan, who steps into the center of the living area. "It doesn't matter what you think. Whatever it was, whatever you thought; it's gone for good."

Lauren snorts. "Like when you had your little 'problem'?"

"What problem?"

"Oh, just the funny way Kate here had a little fainting spell just as you were getting serious."

Alan turns on me. "You told them about that?!"

"We're glad she told us," Dorothy responds nervously, rubbing at the corner of her glasses.

"Oh?"

"Yes, Alan." Lauren begins to pace the room. "After I heard about that, I think I made a connection. I keep having this dream about when we were at university. A salient memory, if you will."

My eyes follow the taller woman. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't think you were there. It was a study session right before exams, and Professor... I mean, Alan here, was tutoring me. I somehow slipped and fell face first over his lap."

Dorothy nods. "Only after Lauren brought it up did I remember. I thought you had hurt yourself."

"The opposite was true. In fact, I was, how do I put this? Quite randy."

Alan places a palm on his forehead. "I don't want to hear this."

"Nor do I!" Stepping forward, I point to the door. "This stops, or you can get out!"

Natalie shakes her head slowly. "You have to listen, Kate. We've all felt it at one time or another."

I look over to Dorothy. "All of you?"

"Yes. I clearly remember going to the Halloween party arm in arm with him. I felt like I was melting inside."

"Or, in other words," Lauren says, smirking. "Her quim was all a quiver."

Alan starts tapping the side of his head with a finger. "I really don't need to hear this."

A sudden realization comes to me. "Is that why all of you kept running off upstairs?"

Natalie's darker cheeks begin to color. "Things started to get very; uncomfortable in our rooms, especially after Alan became our housemaster. That was until..." She looks over to Dorothy.

"Yes. When I literally fell for you. After Alan touched both of us, it seemed to unlock something repressed inside. It was quite the first night."

Natalie's almond eyes crinkle a bit. "And the second. After the university shut down, we were separated for a while as our parents tried to sort out our legal affairs. Eventually, we found each other again."

I place my hands on my hips. "Are you saying Alan made you love each other just by touching you?!"

Dorothy shakes her head. "I think it's more complicated than that. My theory is that when he's in the mood, he can 'sense' what we desire."

Alan frowns. "I am right here, ladies. You can be assured I never had thoughts about your sexual desires at Eddington."

"That's pretty obvious," Lauren says drily. "If you had, I don't think any of us would have stood a chance."

"What?!"

Natalie smiles wistfully. "There were times when you were excited. We could tell. If you would have asked anything of us, we would have done it for you."

"Look, ladies...!"

I begin to finally see where this is going. "Are you saying that as Alan's mood changes, you fall under some kind of spell? Why don't I feel it?"

"I think you do," Dorothy answers. "For some reason, it's just different from us. From what little I remember of those times, you always seemed to be; defensive. Closed. You still are. It may have made a difference. At least until you opened up to him."

I look to Alan. "When we were..."

"...falling in love." He completes the statement I find so hard to say. His face grows despondent. "I only kissed you for a moment, and then... It was my worst nightmare come true."

I suddenly become aware of the pull. He's hurting deeply, and I take a step forward. In fact, all of my friends rise. I stare at them with new eyes.

Lauren shakes herself. "It's obvious now, isn't it? That's why we're here."

Alan looks up. "To sort us out? I don't even know how; or in what way it will manifest."

I watch as my friends glance back and forth. Something is definitely afoot. "What were you thinking?"

The three nod to each other, and Dorothy pushes back her glasses. "We have a plan, if you're willing."

Interesting turn of phrase. "Willing to do; what?"

Natalie shrugs. "Well... We just have to wear him down."

I almost laugh hearing those words come out of my quiet friend's mouth. "Really."

She stares at the obviously perturbed man. "We just have to not get overwhelmed by him."

Alan raises his hands. "We? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

The temperature in the room seems to go up ten degrees. With Alan starting to catch on, all that negative energy we were feeling suddenly evaporates. My mood lightens, and the corner of my mouth turns up. "Huh. Feel that, ladies?"

All of them begin to smile. "Yes. Indeed. Almost like the old days."

I study them closely. I should be offended. In fact, I am. I turn to Lauren. "You always wanted a piece of him, didn't you?"

The taller woman sighs. "He's yours, and I'm happy for you. But yes, I still dream of him."

How much of that was Alan's doing, I wonder? "I guess there's only one question left. Alan?"

The man is standing there, stock still. "There has to be another way..."

I purse my lips. "No, Alan. I was going to tell you tonight. We can't continue like this. I want to get on with my plans, and right now we're miserable together. I think it's mostly you."

He draws back, but after a moment, he nods. "I am miserable. I have to always hold back. To be careful in case It rears It's head. I hate my job..."

"With my father?"

"I know the work is important. The justice system and the schools are horrible. I just... I want to teach again."

I shake my head. "That's impossible. It was everything we could do to keep you out of prison. I'm sorry, but..."

"Not teach school, honey. A child."

Now it's my turn to fall back. "A child? Are you saying...?"

"Yes, Katie. I was hoping that after all this time, it was safe. We can have someone to nurture. To watch them grow with us together. And then you passed out, and I knew it would never happen."

"Alan..." My breath catches in my throat as I sense him even more now. I step forward and reach out to the hopeful man. He stiffens, but doesn't withdraw. I close and wrap my arms around his waist. I try not to gasp as his feelings threaten to overwhelm me. "Alan. I know you would be the best father ever."

He smiles warmly and draws me closer. "Why does my life always have to be so mad?"

I laugh softly. "It's a curse. A curse we have to lift tonight. Right Knights?" I turn to them and see that the reminder of how tight a group we are has them all smiles. "So, umm, how are we to do this?"

Dorothy bites the inside of her lip. "A baby? No pressure, then."

I wink with a click of my tongue. "How do your theories handle that?"

The tow-headed woman studies Alan with an apprising eye. "Well, we all discussed this earlier, and think it best that the women keep control of the situation throughout the process."

"Process?" Alan snorts. "Now that sounds romantic."

I sigh. "I'm more concerned that they've been discussing this beforehand. How are we to keep control, if I might ask?"

"We tie him up, of course."

I watch as Rachel struggles desperately to keep a straight face. "And you came up with this brilliant idea?"

"It only makes sense. After what we felt when Alan was just being happy, I think it would be more than prudent. Who knows what may happen if he becomes; licentious."

Alan raises an eyebrow. "Interesting choice of words, Miss White. So you don't think I can control myself?"

She blushes. "You can keep calling me that all you want, sir."

I shake my head. All it took was Alan turning on the charm for a moment, and she's falling apart. I look over and see the other two ladies are starting to get all starry-eyed as well. "Right. I might have you lot restrained if this keeps up. Alan, are you fine with this?"