I don't know why I ever took this stupid department store job. Sure, the commissions were great, but it was a lot of work. Folding and sorting merchandise, putting up with competitive co-workers always trying to steal my sales and one-up my quota. And let's not forget the endless tides of horny old men who decided a saleswoman was the perfect target for them to blow the dust off their lechery skills.
At least a waitress got tips to put up with that shit, and could run off to another table to get a break from it. Me, I had no choice but to pretend not to notice their eyes on my breasts.
It was a Saturday afternoon, but thankfully the store wasn't super busy. I was updating one of the displays when, out of nowhere, someone goosed me!
I whirled around in a fury. How dare some creep just pinch my butt! There the guy was, a bland, unremarkable middle-aged guy standing there calmly like he hadn't just take it upon himself to pinch me. I'd call my manager Greg over here and throw his ass out.
Only, as I took a moment to compose myself... well, he
was
a customer, after all. They'd spent hours training us on proper customer service techniques, and part of that meant looking for ways to avoid or minimize conflict. "Welcome to our store, my name is Vivian. How can I help you?" I forced a professional smile, trying to ignore the lingering sensation on my rear.
"Hi, I was in here the other day and I picked up a nice little number, and I was looking to get another one like it."
"Well great, glad you enjoyed it! Just tell me what you purchased, and I'll get us moving in the right direction."
"Well, it was a little bit like this," he said, running his hands over the front of my blouse, right along the sides of my breasts and down to my hips.
Great, another gropey prick.
Stiff upper lip, Vivian.
"So... it was a shirt? Like, a dress shirt?" Familiar touching or not, it was an odd choice. This was pretty clearly a woman's shirt, and he shouldn't have needed to feel me up to tell.
"No, not your shirt, miss. Your boobs."
My jaw dropped for a moment. "My...?" What a crude thing to say! "I believe the term you're looking for is 'breasts' sir. They're not 'boobs.'"
"Well with a jacket, blouse, and no doubt some tremendously drab bra on, you should be surprised I even noticed you have them."
"Well, that's fair." I sniffed indignantly. It wasn't fair at all β I was pretty stacked, to be honest. "Still, what do you mean about my breasts?"
"Like I said, I made a purchase here the other day, and I thought I might like another set."
"You bought... breasts?" Or were they boobs? Maybe I should just use his term, if I was going to make the sale.
"Yes. From a very gifted young sales associate. Candace, I think her name was?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I know Candace." Did I ever. If I had a nickel for every sale she'd stolen from me when my back was turn, every time I'd had to spend a shift cleaning up her mess because she was too busy trolling for commissions to ever get any folding or inventory done... Candace was a bitch.
"Yes. Well, I was thinking yours looked like they might be a bit bigger than hers, and I think today that's the kind of mood I'm in."
I wanted to snort.
Might be a bit bigger?
I easily had two cup sizes on that bitch. I just didn't wear v-neck blouses and push-up bras like some desperate ho. I bet this customer was really disappointed once he got a good look at his purchase. Talk about false advertising.
"Well don't you worry, if you're in the mood for big breasts, you've come to the right place," I said, taking off my jacket and working at the buttons on my top. He stood by and watched me as I slipped out of my blouse and hung it on an empty hanger.
The man walked in circles around me, inspecting me from all angles. I stood up as straight as I could, sucking in my tummy and thrusting out my boobs for him. Pshaw, no way that flatty Candace could make a sale like me.
"Gee, I dunno..." the man said, grimacing a little.
"What? Is there something wrong with the merchandise?"
"It just feels a little dishonest, trying to sell me your boobs when you won't even let me see them. The other girl was much more up front about this."
I pouted, but only for a moment. I mean, in the middle of the store? Still, a sale was a sale. Damnit, why hadn't I worn a cuter bra today? Then maybe he would've bought my boobs sight unseen, and I wouldn't be having to strip it off in plain view of God and everyone.
There. Bra gone. "Sorry about that sir. Is that better?"
He seemed to consider, reaching out and cupping each boob in turn, squeezing them, patting them and seeing how long they jiggled. "What are these, an XL?"
"They're actually a XXL, sir."
"Hmm. Does that cost extra?"
Great, he wanted to haggle over it. "There is a surcharge of $3.95, but I think we can waive that for you." It was a small amount and I could just take it out of my commission. I used one of my sales tricks, batting my eyelashes ever so slightly, letting my baby blues suck him in.
I guess my bare boobs probably helped.
"Well, that's very gracious of you. Only... you know, I don't see a price tag on them. Guess they're free, huh?"
GOD DAMNIT TO HELL, do I hate the fucking line. It was like there was someone standing outside the store offering $20 to anybody who said that to an employee or something. I swear, if I had it in my power, I would refuse to sell my boobs to this guy altogether. That's right, take them right off the market.
Only Greg would kill me if he found out I was declining to serve a customer. So I humored him with a little giggle. "If only, right? Here, let me fix that for you." I didn't even know what the rate was, but I just estimated based on the rack he'd found them on... I snagged a black marker from my jacket breast pocket β err, boob pocket β and scrawled "$19.99" across my bare chest.
"There we go. You ready to check out?"
He arched an eyebrow. "That's it?"
"Why, is something wrong?"
"No, just... well, I expected you to try to sell me a bit more. Candace was certainly eager to."
How stupid of me! Geez, I'd almost let a potentially huge commission slip through my fingers. "Oh! Well of course, we have all kinds of other things you might like. Got your eyes on anything else?"
"Well, how about that?" He pointed at my crotch.
Oh great. Just great. Why didn't I ever get the customers who wanted a pair of blue jeans or a trendy scarf or something? "So you want to buy my, um, vagina?"
"Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves and go right for the pussy, sweetheart. I actually meant around back."
Sweetheart
, ugh. I waited to roll my eyes until I'd turned around and bent over, grabbing my ankles as my boobs sunk down to almost rest on my chin. "How's this?"
"Ehhh..." I looked between my legs at him, and could see he wasn't sold on it yet.
"Hold on, hold on..." I undid the zipper on my skirt and slid it off, bending right back over and spreading my butt cheeks, my panties creeping into my crack a bit.
I was totally unsurprised when he told me he didn't really care for the packaging my butt was in β just my usual boring white panties. Not to be daunted, I took his hand and all but dragged him off to the lingerie department. For the next ten minutes, I tried on one pair of panties after another for him, hoping I'd find the one to display the merch just right.
I was careful, of course, not to turn around and show him my pussy. For one, I didn't think he could even afford it, and for two, I wasn't some kind of slut. I wasn't selling him my whole body, just my ass.
Oh, and my boobs too. I couldn't believe he was willing to shell out $19.99 for them β usually I just let guys have them for free. One born every minute, right?
When my manager Greg came over, I was standing there in a pink thong with a little yellow bow on the back, my feet spread a couple feet apart and pulling my ass cheeks good and wide so he could inspect his purchase.
"Vivian!" he exclaimed just as the customer plopped his thumb into my butt hole. Holy SHIT was I tight back there. "What are you doing?"
"Just helping a customer," I said, my voice trembling a little as I tried to adjust myself to the pressure in my ass.
"I can see that," Greg said. "I'm sorry sir, we just have a policy that our guests are required to try on merchandise in the dressing rooms."
"Oh, nobody told me," he said, slipping his thumb back out. He made a little face, then grabbed Greg's tie and wiped it off. "Honest mistake."
Greg smiled genially. "No trouble. Vivian, why don't you show him to the dressing rooms?"
"Of course. Sir, this way?" I took his hand and put it on my bare butt cheek. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see that Greg was watching my ass as I strode off. What a perv. When he saw me looking, he gave me an encouraging thumbs up, like he was just a supportive manager and not some creeper checking out his employees.
Soon enough we were alone in the dressing room. I picked the handicapped-ready one, just so we'd have a little more space. I put my hands against the wall and arched my back, cocking my butt from side to side. Showmanship was a big part of salesmanship. "So what do you think?"
"You know, it might be a little big for me, honestly."