Cheating at Poker
It had been another lazy afternoon, and Ryan was headed for an even lazier evening. The sex was always great, but between the sex, he was getting bored. There was only so much PlayStation a man can take, even when playing local multiplayer with hot, semi-naked women. He needed some way to make things more interesting.
In the past, he would have watched porn, but that seemed redundant now. He could do it for research, maybe? To find new moves?
Ryan put on some internet porn on the TV.
Annie was sprawled over his lap, like a pet. She was topless. She glanced at the porn and then at him, frowning. She was right. It did nothing for him. He scratched her belly. His girls, in addition to actually being here, were more beautiful and more eager than any porn star. He turned the TV off.
He'd done other things to alleviate his boredom in the old days, too. There were all of those little porn games you could play in the browser. Could any of them be turned into a real life version? Some of the ideas he came up with made him laugh. They were all preposterous. He didn't just want to have sex, he could do that any time. He needed some good, extended build-up, some quality non-sex foreplay. Then he got it. Always bet on a classic.
"Girls, put some clothes on. We're gonna play strip poker!"
"Really? Why?" Lizzy said.
"What do you mean why? For fun. I'm bored."
"Whatever."
Melinda and Claudia were not around, but Remy, Annie, and Lizzy were there at the apartment. Ryan sent them to the girls' room, formerly known as the guest room, to put on some clothes. The three of them all lived with Ryan now. Ryan also went to his closet. He put on a few layers of pants and shirts and even found his winter hat and mittens.
The girls all groaned when they saw him.
"What? Don't hate the player, play the game, right?" he said.
The girls were all wearing just a few pieces of their normal pajamas and casual wear. Ryan found his old poker set from under a cabinet.
"So, how are we going to do this?" Remy said.
"We play with chips, we deal Texas Hold 'em, and when you run out of chips you need to buy back with clothes. What?"
None of the girls seemed that enthusiastic about his idea. Even Annie was less than convinced.
"Everybody has already seen everyone else naked. We all just changed in the same room. What's in it for us?" Remy said.
"Yeah. We literally had to put more clothes on, on purpose, just so we would have something to strip," Lizzy added.
"Well, what do you suggest then?" Ryan said.
"Even normal strip poker with strangers is boring until the clothes are all gone. The fun part is what you bet next. We need to play for favors or do challenges," Remy said.
Ryan had to admit she probably knew a lot more about strip poker than than he did. And she was right. In this house, playing for clothes was kind of useless.
"Well, I want to see you have some clothes on, just for a while, first. Then we can go into the favors and things, when they come up. And also, if we're going to do this, we might as well do it right. You could put on some more normal clothes, like we were actually in a bar or something."
"Well, that's not fair. You're already cheating, so if we need to dress properly, so do you," Remy said.
Lizzy's eyes lit up. "No, no, I have a better idea. Lets do some role playing."
Her idea was met with lukewarm disinterest.
"No, really, you guys. Lets all dress up as characters and pretend we don't know each other. That way we could actually have some fun. We'll turn the living room into a casino and we'll just play poker, like with strangers, but then we'll see where things lead. Wink wink, nudge nudge?"
"Actually, that could be fun. Nice idea, Pokemon," Remy said.
"Why Pokemon?" Ryan said.
"Cause she's cute, and cuddly, and tiny, and if I throw her in your face, she'll fuck you up," Remy said.
"And, 'cause I'm a nerd," Lizzy added.
"And, because she's a huge nerd," Remy confirmed.
Remy and Lizzy laughed together.
The more Ryan thought about it, the more he liked the idea. He could be James Bond or something. It could be fun. "Well, I like the idea, too. I said I was bored, I said I wanted to do something different. This sounds fun to me," he said.
"You would say that, wouldn't you. One way or another, you're going to end up fucking us all anyway," Remy said.
"Yeah, but my character doesn't know that. If he loses the game, he's not going to get anything, even if the real me will."
"Very good, grasshopper. I see you are a player of games," said Lizzy.
"Annie, are you in? You haven't said anything," Remy noted.
"I want to do whatever Ryan wants to do," Annie said.
"Well, we all know that, but what do you really think?"
"Yeah, sure. Poker is kind of boring, isn't it? Maybe this way it'll be more fun. I'm not sure what kind of costumes we can come up with, though."
"Nonsense. It'll be great. Just use your imagination. Ryan, you go figure out a costume for yourself, we'll change and decorate the living room. When we're ready, we'll call you and you can come in, but no peeking," Remy said.
"Really, you'd do that for me? That is so nice. Ladies, get ready to meet James Bond."
"Ugh, he's a creep, suits you," Lizzy said.
"Come on, the ladies love 007. He's a man of mystery. Or, maybe I'll go Austin Powers. He's a man of mystery, too," Ryan mused.
"Just go already," the girls said. Ryan left the room.
"Are we really going to do this?" Annie said. She loved Ryan, but this was just silly.
"Come on. It'll be great. Once we have you in character, you'll love it," Lizzy said.
Ryan rummaged around in his drawers and wardrobes. He had a suit somewhere, he'd gone to a wedding once. He had half-ideas here and others there. Nothing spoke to him as a complete costume. It took him a long time. Luckily, the girls were busy, setting up the room. He looked over everything once more. He could be an astronaut, but didn't really have a helmet, or a spacesuit.
Then he looked at the top shelf and he saw it. He smiled.
---
It was another frigid night in the rundown city, not many people dared to leave their homes. The cold winter wind whipped the leafless trees. Old Ellie's was a dive as bad as the rest of them: Beaten and bruised, but still standing. A few lovely ladies had found their way into this seedy bar this stormy night, looking for the wrong thing in the wrong damn place.
There was Mona, a femme fatale, looking for someone to save her from the debts she owed to all the gangsters, all of them. Would a knight in shining armor show? If one did, he could take the fall for her. Her tight, red cocktail dress matched her red hair and revealed a lot, enough that the trap was set for the next fool to show up.
Then there was Fukumi, a ninja-assassin from an alternate dimension. She was cute and tiny, but deadly. She was hiding from the Garblox enforcers after a deal gone bad, but she now realized she had picked a seriously depressing bar to do it in. She needed to recharge her soul-force, and was looking for any poor idiot to take advantage of. She was wearing a short, dark kimono, and wore sunglasses even at night, to protect her cybernetic eyes.
The last of our ladies was Trixie, the bartender-slash-dealer, who would still take part in the game, too, somehow. She was tall and slim, and you could tell from her tattoos she was a bad girl. She wore a tight mini skirt, a form-hugging white shirt, and a smart little vest. She even had a name tag. For some reason, she also wore a leather collar around her neck, but we won't go into that now. She was always on the lookout for a new sugar daddy. Trixie went through sugar daddies fast and hard.
All of the women were sitting around the poker table, waiting for someone, anyone. Then, the door opened.
"Yeehaw, ladies, say hello to Randy Randy!" shouted a really stupid-looking cowboy. His hat was ridiculously large, his jeans too short, and he only had one boot on. The shirt did actually look like a cowboy shirt, at least a little. He shot finger pistols in the air, and said "piung piung piung."
The ladies all groaned.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked Trixie.
"I'm Randy Randy, I'm from Texas. Isn't that what we are playing, Texas Hold 'em?"
"Uh, sure, sir. Please take seat and the game can begin. I'm Trixie, your dealer slash bartender. Would you like a drink?"
"Sure thing Trixie, you country sweetheart you. Look, it even says so on your name tag there, now would you look at that. Why don't you be a darling and get me a whiskey."
Randy Randy smiled at the lean waitress. She was striking, and he was quite taken. He took a chip from his stack an slipped it under the lacy black bra that was peeking out from her cleavage. Trixie smiled at him warmly. As she started toward the bar, Randy Randy slapped her bum and shouted "yeehaw" again.
"Say, this is a lovely place you got here, ladies, what do you call this here fine establishment?" Randy Randy said, as he looked at the sagging, dilapidated wallpapers, and the decades of grime and filth everywhere.
"It is called Old Ellie's, and it is not lovely, it is a shit hole. This is the worst dive in town," Fukumi said.
"Well, it ain't that bad, I would say. All the bars look like this where I'm from. Ha. Now who might you be, little lady?"
"My name is Fukumi, but I am not from here. I am from another place."
"Well, nice to meet you, Fuck me. I'm Randy Randy. Yeehaw."
"Yes, we already heard that, please stop saying it," Fukumi said.
"Noted, lady, noted. And who might you be, gorgeous, and what can Randy Randy do for you?"
"My... My name is Mona. It is a pleasure to meet you, sir. I have been so waiting for someone to come in and join our game here. It has been awfully lonely here, with just us girls. I'm sure if you bet lots and lots of money on this game, us girls won't beat a man like you, right?" Mona said.
Randy Randy got up and kissed Mona on the hand. She was wearing long, black silk gloves. He was impressed. He went to kiss Fukumi, too. The space ninja hesitated, but then gave her hand. She had an angular, eighties-futuristic decorative stripe painted on her arm. Randy Randy was even more impressed.
Trixie came back with the drink. She sat down and started dealing the cards.
