I get to school the next day and I can't concentrate on my studies. I leave class and call the sitter and arrange for her to watch the kids that night. My head is swimming. I walk around in a daze. What is wrong with me?
The doctor tells me it's just stress from school and work and that I need to get away for a couple of days and just relax. I only nod. That is it of course. I've always suffered from test anxiety and midterms were just last week and I hadn't had time to sit down since then.
This is perfect too; the children go to their father's for the next week and I have some vacation days saved up from work and school is out for a week. I pack my suitcase, just jeans and sweatshirts. This is truly a relaxing week. As quickly as I packed, I had unpacked. What am I doing?
I look down and I have packed only very short skirts and halter tops, stockings and high-heeled shoes. I go to the store and buy some bright red lipstick and red nail polish. I must be out of my mind. My friend, Susan, calls and asks me my plans. I tell her I'm going away for a few days to relax. "Good idea, you haven't been yourself lately. Call me when you get back to town."
I grab my suitcase and head down the street to the waiting car. His car. Why am I going with this man? I feel his gaze and I quickly unbutton my blouse and slip it off my shoulders. I flick my nipples with my fingernails until they are hard, then slowly roll them between my fingers. He smiles, "Good pet."