Julie gently swam forward. Going for a morning swim in the heated indoor pool had been such a privilege throughout the winter. Julie had never had access to anything like this in her previous life (or what felt like her previous life). It was a nice way to get a little exercise, let off steam, and be alone with her thoughts. Plus, Peter encouraged it!
Valentine's Day was coming up and she wondered if Peter was planning anything. He probably was. Beside the whole taking her hostage, making her do his bidding, and impregnating her thing - Peter was nothing but nice to her. He'd clearly gone the extra mile to make sure she was entertained and comfortable in his house.
He made an effort to be romantic all the time - she actually loved the gestures he made for her. One time, she'd come into their room to see rose petals everywhere. Once she finally asked why he had put them there, he told her that he thought she'd enjoy it. He made her dinner several times, indulging her in gourmet food, and they'd laughed over candlelight through the whole meal.
She often thought about her conflicting feelings and experiences during her swims. A gentle kick from her belly interrupted that. She slowly glided forward and for a moment placed a hand on the spot where her son had just kicked her.
"My son" she thought and almost sighed at the same time.
She almost didn't know what to think about her pregnancy anymore. It still scared her all the time. She felt too young, too uneducated, and not independent enough to have a baby yet - she was only 20! This wasn't a part of the plan she had for her life! Not to mention being here with Peter! Was she trapped here forever? Would their son be trapped her forever too?
But then there were the intrusive thoughts and feelings. Now so common, she often mistook them for her own. She'd feel a kick from her baby and quickly think, "Oh! Yay! I can't wait to hold him!" Or she'd been walking and suddenly put her hand on her growing belly and think, "It'll be so wonderful to be a mom. Peter will be so happy to be a dad."
She had thoughts she assumed every new parent has, she just didn't know if they were placed there by the chip or by herself. That thought scared her. She exhaled and moved forward. She tried to recenter herself. At first in denial about her pregnancy, then angry, she'd finally reached the point of resolution. Or at least that's what she told herself. "I'm having this baby whether I like it or not. And I'll love this baby. Because that's what good mothers do." She thought to herself.
Then there was Peter. She felt even more conflicted about Peter. The first 4 moths of her pregnancy, she'd been more scared of Peter that anything. He was kind to her but he still commanded her around the bedroom, involuntarily teaching her what felt like every sex position in the book. She'd been forced to lick, suck, kiss, moan his name, and spread her legs more times that she could count. She resented being forced to do anything she didn't want to do and was still angry over the loss of her free will (well her free will at Peter's whim at least).
But then, there was the way he made her feel. Sex with Peter was always great. She'd had no idea sex felt this way - no wonder all the adults in her life had always preached abstinence and waiting until marriage. Once you started, you never wanted to stop!
Peter took time out of sex for her pleasure, often fingering her as a warm up for her before sliding in himself. And if he came before she did, he often found other ways to get her off. He'd even bought a vibrator and started playing with it on her.
Her second trimester had given her and Peter some interesting hurdles to face. She exhaled and just faced the truth: she'd become so hormonal during her second trimester; she was horny all the time. It had spurred her on to ask for sex from Peter for the first time (he had lit up!) and many, many times after that.
