After giving the command phrase, "Deep sleep, Chani. Deep sleep," my 18-year-old daughter slumped back on the couch next to me. Her body limp and her head lulling a bit. I reached over to steady her and to rest her head comfortably against the back of the couch.
One of the biggest pitfalls that amateur hypnotists make is not supporting their subject's head. Neck pain is real, and it can completely derail a hypnosis session.
"Chani, listen carefully to me," I began. "A few moments ago, we were making ou... we were kissing and touching each other. You remember that, don't you?"
She weakly nodded her head in the affirmative.
It occurred to me that I hadn't given a name to this little stress-relieving activity that Chani has been enjoying with me. I almost referred to it as "making out." But that might be a mistake.
Making out carries a whole different set of connotations than does "Daddy's special way of helping me feel better."
Sure, eventually, I wanted Chani to think of me as a sexual partner, someone with whom she eagerly wanted to make-out, but we weren't there just yet. It was best not to ruin this endeavor with a slip of the tongue. (Yes, that was a cheap "dad joke" pun. Sue me.)
I turned my attention back to Chani, "We were kissing and touching, and you liked that, didn't you?"
Again, she nodded.
"It felt good, didn't it?"
A little smile played across her lips as she nodded this time. I could see her tense up as she took in a deep breath. A couple of heartbeats later, she sighed and melted back into the couch, clearly remembering the physical pleasure.
"But you stopped. Why did you stop?"
Her face tensed, and her brow furrowed. It was clear that she was conflicted about answering me.
"It's okay, Chani. I understand there are things you don't want to tell your dad. But, right now, in this moment I am your friend. You see, in this place, you can tell me anything. In this place, I'm just a really good friend. I will only ever speak truth to you, and you can easily speak truth to me.
"In fact, you might find that this place has a particular sort of freedom. Here, you have the freedom to be open and honest. In the waking world, it can sometimes be difficult to be open and honest. Sometimes there are negative consequences..."
Right then, Chani shuddered.
Sometimes, in hypnosis, a person will experience abreaction. It's a physical sign that we've hit on some deeper emotional barrier. It can also signify a release of emotion - though in this case, I was sure it was the former.
She mentioned yesterday that she had been too open with her friend Jessica. My intuition told me this was related.
Thus far, I had been pretty dismissive of the teen drama with her best friend, but maybe I had been too quick to discount it.
As I pondered my daughter's interpersonal struggles, something clicked, and I felt the gears in my head begin turning. An idea started to form but now was not the time.
"Deep sleep, Chani. Deep sleep. Good," I again addressed my daughter. I wanted to keep her deep and focused on the goal at hand. Best to just ignore this emotional insight for the time being. By issuing the familiar phrase, she would leave it behind, and we would avoid the risk of her coming out of trance too soon.
"In this place, there is freedom. So, Chani, allow yourself to feel that sense of freedom. Allow yourself to enjoy that freedom, and simply let me know why you stopped kissing Daddy."
Several seconds went by without a response, but I could see it in the muscles of her face. She was preparing to tell me. It's an interesting aspect of hypnosis. Sometimes, usually in deep hypnosis, it can take a subject an entire minute (which is a long time to sit in silence) to answer a question. So I waited.
After several more seconds passed, I noticed her lips struggling to move (she must have been very deep). I leaned in close and put my ear right up next to her mouth. I could feel her breath against my skin.
"...horny...," she barely managed to get out.
"You stopped kissing daddy because you are horny?"
"...yesss..."
"So, what are you planning to do about it?"
"...take...shower...," her words were getting a little louder and a little clearer.
"You're going to take a shower?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to masturbate?" I asked, thinking about how I was going to handle my own arousal.
"No."
"No? Why not?"
"It's weird," this time her response was perfectly clear, and just below the volume of normal conversation.
Well, that certainly wasn't an answer I was expecting. "It's weird? Can you explain?" I asked.
"It's weird. It's frustrating. I'm not good at it. I've tried it, but I always end up frustrated and angry. I think I'm broken down there."
Okay, see, right here. This is what I'm always going on about. Here we have a beautiful young adult just stepping out into the world. Someone who's just starting to explore romance and sex and she's going into it thinking she's broken. Why!?!
I'll tell you why, because even in a relatively "progressive" household, like my own, the only education she ever received on self-pleasure was from her mother. And I'm 99% certain the only thing her mother ever said was something like, "Sweety, it's perfectly natural to touch yourself down there, just make sure to do it in private."
In my forty some odd years, I've been with a little over a dozen women. You want to know a secret? Not a single one of them got off in the same way.
My first partner came easily from vaginal sex. She didn't need (or necessarily like) her clit to be played with.
Another would only come when I gave her oral.
One needed me to be pumping her cunt while I diddled her clit.
One preferred that I remain still, inside of her, while she worked her clit herself.
Another could only get herself off, after we were otherwise done with sex, while I held her hand and caressed her.
I even had one past partner who would shoot off like a rocket with anal sex, but only if she'd had a couple drinks before.
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