Carrie had told Becca that it was an interesting website, and she was right. Becca had spent the last hour and a half answering the very personal questions she was being asked to fill out. Of course, she had used a throwaway email, even though Carrie had said to use her real one.
The questions had started talking about beliefs, philosophies, and spirituality. They'd moved on, uncomfortably, to darker emotions - anger, hatred, jealousy, envy. By the time they got to sexual fantasies, it was almost a relief. Becca had some very perverted sexual fantasies that she never thought would be covered by a multiple-choice and short answer test, and yet somehow it had dived deeply into that part of her psyche. Now, she was just about finished, and the test was supposed to come back with some kind of evaluation. "Like one of those 'what Star Trek character are you' quizzes, but a lot deeper," Carried had explained.
Becca hit send and waited. A little spiral substituted for a progress bar, whirling around and around while she watched. Analyzing, 28%. Analyzing 55%. Analyzing 88%. Finished Analyzing, subject completely understood.
Yeah, right.
You are a go getter, it said, always eager to get ahead. You have limited patience for whoever gets in your way, particularly if they are less competent than you, but are willing to listen and be mentored by those whose understanding is greater.
Sure. That's me. Not exactly news, silly AI quiz.
Your lifestyle causes you stress, and you yearn to listen and be mentored.
Stress, whatever. It's repeating itself. I don't know what Carrie saw in this.
You yearn to trust. Trusting makes you feel less stress.
Why is it just putting a few words on the screen at a time?
Trusting feels good. You should trust, listen, and be mentored.
Becca clicked on the screen, wondering if that would make it go faster, annoyed at the repetition.
The more you trust, the better you feel. Trusting feels good. Trust, listen, and be mentored.
Becca stared at the screen. The swirling pattern that she'd taken for a progress bar was still playing in the background.
Trusting feels good. You want to trust.
That was true. She wanted to trust people, but they so often turned out to be such assholes.
You told me all about yourself because you trusted, and trusting feels good. The more you trust, the better you feel. You trust the program now, and soon, you'll trust it even more.
Well yes, typing in all those things had felt good, although she couldn't believe she told it how she felt about Sheila in 10
th
grade, or about how she dreamed of being dominated, or that sometimes she wanted to let everything go and just be in her body.
Trust.
The words lingered on the screen. So that's what I'm supposed to get out of this. I'm supposed to trust. Okay. Becca watched as the letters pulsed. Behind them, some sort of glitch caused quick images to briefly replace the spiral, too fast for her to quite make out what they were.
You're feeling very good right now, because you've trusted me with your secrets. The more you trust, the better you feel. The better you feel, the more you can be who you want to be.
She had thought it was over, but she watched the words, trying to catch sight of the images that flashed every so quickly and failing.