Being stuck in bed sucked. I had been confined to mine for the past week and had another three, at least, to look forward to. It was my own fault: one moment I had been careening down the single track, and the next I was flying head first over my handlebars tumbling down the mountain. In the big picture, I was lucky. It very easily could have been my neck that was broken rather than my lower left leg and right foot. But lucky or not, here I was, unable to put weight on either leg with weeks of reading, gaming, Netflix, and ceiling staring ahead of me.
I was 23 years old, recently graduated from Berkeley, and part of the college educated masses who could not find a job. Perhaps a history major was not the best choice in retrospect, but mom said, "follow your heart," and I did. The "not working" gave me plenty of time to continue me athletic pursuits, however. Climbing, running, mountain biking - they all contributed to my 6-foot toned body. Add close cropped blond hair and blue eyes and I was a catch by any measure. Or so I liked to think.
And I had been caught. In fact, my girlfriend of three years was bustling through the house looking for her keys at that moment. It was her paycheck that provided the roof over my head. This was surely a temporary situation until I landed my dream job, but I was deep in her debt. A debt I paid with love - the only coin I had access to at the moment.
Watching her lithe form scramble around, looking in pockets and under anything that could be moved, I thought back to when we met. I and some buddies had taken the long drive down to Joshua Tree for a week of climbing. We were obnoxious, strutting around like hot shot rock jocks, generally emitting that type of testosterone that most women think of as "idiot" rather than the "irresistible" that we were going for. We were taking a break from a particularly tough route when two women in harnesses approached and asked if they could take a shot at it while we rested. We said, "of course". It would be fun to watch them flail on the route that had been vexing us. We were ready with all sorts of hints and beta as the leader started off.
Within two minutes she was at the top yelling, "off belay," and I was in love.
That was Melissa. All of five feet two inches, 115 pounds, long curly brown hair, olive skin, and curvy. I would later learn she was a 34 C. If I was doctor Frankenstein this is the woman I would have built in my lab. Perfection. Okay, perhaps comparing my girlfriend to a monster is not the best move, but you know what I mean.
It turned out she went to Stanford, about thirty minutes from my school - without traffic. The wooing that went in to convincing her that I was for her is another story. Suffice it to say that within a few weeks we had kindled a hot bay area romance.
And now she couldn't find her keys.
"Shit, I am going to be late for work!", she yelled in frustration.
"Have you checked your computer bag?"
"Of course I have! That was the first place I, oh... Found them!"
She was a genius, but not what one would call street smart. The classic nerd software engineer with her head in the cloud and absent minded as all hell.
"Are you sure you are going to be alright while I am gone?" she asked. This would be her first day back after taking care of me every day for the past week.
"I'll be fine," I responded. "I can get myself in the wheelchair if I need to, and I am a pro at the 'bathroom game' now". I quickly figure out how to take care of THAT business. There was no way I was going to use a bedpan ever again.
She stood over me, looking down with he brown eyes. "OK. I just worry."
"You worry too much. But thank you."
When she leaned over to kiss me I grabbed her and tried to pull he onto the bed.
"Alex, stop it!" she laughed. "I don't have time."
Alex pulled her tighter for a moment and then released. "Tonight?"
"Yes, tonight" she responded. I had not had any since my accident and now that I was off painkillers all of that pent-up desire was bubbling over. She kissed me again and went to get up.
And that was when it happened.
She must have gotten her leg tangled in the sheet because when she got up, she tripped right back down landing on his left leg.
Holy Fucking SHIT!!
Pain shot through me like an explosion of white light. It was worse than when the break first happened. And then it stopped.
Relief.
I rolled over and straightened up. Untangling myself from the sheet I stood.
"What the...?"
I was standing. No pain, nothing.
"Holy crap!", I said. But it sounded wrong.
Wait, what?
I realized that I was standing looking down at me.
"Am I dead?" I thought.
I turned to look for Melissa but she was not there. Where did she disappear to? Then it stuck him. I looked down at my body. I reached up and felt my hair. I... Fuck! I was in Melissa's body.
Panicking, I ran to a mirror and looked. Yes, I was looking right back at Mel. I ran my hand down his face and heard myself say with her voice, "Holy Freaky Friday, batman." I started to shake and tears started flowing. Then another thought stuck me. Crying I raced back to the bed with my body and checked for a pulse. I was relieved to find it was strong and steady. And I was breathing.
At least I wasn't dead.
Uncertainly I started to shake my body to wake it up. Maybe if I was in her, she was in him? I got no response so I shook harder shouting, "Wake up!" Nothing. Finally, I took a knuckle and ground it into the muscle by my collarbone. No one can sleep through that. Again, nothing. It seemed like in his non-medical opinion that I was, or my body, was in a coma.
In a daze, I walked to the couch and sat. The crying had passed but I started shaking uncontrollably. "What am I going to do? Where is Melissa? What am I going to tell my parents?" I curled into a fetal position and started sobbing again.
A few minutes of tears, and I started feeling better. Breathing slower I felt a clam pass over me. For the first time in my life I understood the value of a good cry. It would be funny in any other situation. Right now I needed to think.