It was a boring Saturday. Wandering through the crowds was starting to wear him down. His normal demeanor was a bit cynical what with all the happy people around him at the mall, spending money on useless things to make them feel better. He rolled his eyes. Almost sickening really. Life was really very simple, and sometimes he needed to remind people of that. Gazing around the food court he saw a plentiful amount of people gorging after an eventful day of shopping. Then as if on cue he spotted the perfect couple. In their mid 20's they were both well dressed and modest, their shopping bags at their feet. He had a game for them he was sure they couldn't pass up.
"I think we did pretty good today considering the crowd," claimed Stacy. She and her boyfriend had taken the day to get some shopping done for their apartment. Though it was a warm summer day she wore a sweet yellow sundress that did nothing for her plainly average body. Nothing physically about her was really remarkable. Brown hair with pale skin, she had managed to nab her boyfriend with her wit, sense of humor, and sweet personality. They had a mediocre sex life but to her that wasn't what a relationship was all about. They enjoyed each others company and shared in meaningful talks. They both had jobs they enjoyed and were doing well. Stacy looked longingly back at her boyfriend smiling lovingly at him.
Kyle sat next to his girlfriend, smiling just to get through it. It's not that he didn't love her, it's just this was getting old. They had been going out for a year and a half and the relationship was starting to lose some of it's luster. She was cute if a bit plain, and they had hit it off well. He soon came to realize she was a bit clingy. No prior boyfriends meant he was her guinea pig. She felt threatened by any woman he went near. Sticks often had more curves than her and he was surprised she let him go outside alone. She had also insisted they move in together relatively quickly, before he put it all together. He was trapped. She sort of cooked and she worked at a library bringing in a fraction of the rent but she said she loved the job and had no intentions of leaving. He however was getting his ass kicked everyday at the ground floor of a local law firm trying to pay off school and somehow live. He was exhausted most days and had his sex life not been nearly non existent, he likely wouldn't have the energy. Not that Stacy seemed to mind. She was seemingly thrilled with their little setup. He brought up her getting another job to help pay the bills and she wouldn't have it. This lead to their last fight which she had reasoned was because they needed to make the apartment feel more like "home", leading to this less than helpful waste of money on trinkets to fix everything. Not wanting to fight in public he just smiled back at her. Suddenly swept from this fraudulent display of contentment they looked over to see a man loudly pull a chair up to their table.
"Oh what a travesty of a situation we have here," said the newcomer as he pulled up a chair.
"Excuse me?" Stacy said looking offended at the man's remark.
He continued "This facade that facilitates you finding things to fill your failing fondness."
The couple exchanged a blank look between each other then back at the peculiar man.
Looking at them he just sighed. "I have a game for you," he claimed. "A simple word game."
"I don't think so," Kyle declined.
With a heartbroken look the man compelled them. "But you haven't even heard the terms or prize. You simply cannot lose," he replied.
"W-what do we win?" Stacy cautiously asked.
"Well if you must simply know. They bags you currently have, should you win, will be filled to the brim with items that will make your home life much easier. Free of charge of course," the man rattled off like a sales pitch.
Kyle was intrigued but it sounded too good. "And what if we lose?" he asked.
Smiling widely the man replied "Nothing is lost but the opportunity for more rewards. Rewards are accrued as you play and if you fail to meet the goals you simply keep what you have won and will forfeit the rest of the game."
Stacy was a bit put off by the mans strange offer but with free things to fill her apartment, that might be the thing they were looking for. "I think we could give it a try," she said looking up at Kyle.
"I don't know," he said seeing where Stacy's logic was going.
"He did say we have nothing to actually lose, and it's free," she pleaded seeing him back out. She wasn't going to lose him.
"Fine," he sighed. "What do we need to do?"
"A simple task of alliteration as I performed earlier. You must do so as a couple 5 times each," the stranger stated.
Stacy smiled. "Well that's easy honey."
Smirking sinisterly as he elaborated, "But the topic of your game will be the source of your challenge. You must both describe a specific piece of the other. For the lady you must refer to his manly member and for the sir, you must refer to the lady's tiny teats."
"That's ridiculous. You don't expect us to actually do that do you?" Kyle asked agitated.
"This is most certainly what the game entails otherwise you would gain much with almost no challenge. This sets the difficulty high enough that should you succeed, you will have been rewarded greatly for your perseverance," he said innocently. "To be so embarrassed around each other at the mere mention of these words proves your relationship may not be as strong as you thought."
Kyle definitely agreed with that but he didn't want to make a scene in a crowded mall. He looked over at Stacy who was glaring at the man across from them with a defiant look in her eye.
"We'll play your game and show you," she proclaimed proudly. Looking at her boyfriend she had to prove they were going to stay together. "Rigid Rod," she almost whispered. A wave suddenly overcame the couple that briefly passed as they looked at the strange man.
"Oh the game is afoot!" the man exclaimed. "One for the lady!"
Kyle suddenly felt a bit dizzy. A wave seemed to pass over him as she had spoken. He leaned forward a bit as his body shifted in his clothes. His mediocre frame increased as his body toned a bit in his dress clothes they showed a man who took care of his body a bit more. Everything got tighter, then stopped, leaving him quite the handsome catch for his girlfriend next to him. The dizziness left him, leaving behind a vague fogginess in his mind. Looking up he saw the man waiting patiently on the other side.
"I do believe it's your turn sir," said the man.
Slowly coming back to the task he looked at Stacy's nonexistent chest. It was hard to describe something that wasn't there. Knowing nothing good would come from anything he chose, he said the only thing he could come up with.
"Mini Milkers."