I never thought my days off would look like this, since my free time was usually packed full of activities. Running, exercising, walking in the hills, or doing handyman chores around the house if needed. Despite all that, relaxing like this did not feel bad at all. I did some cooking, took a bath and slept a little, but most of the time I was just sitting in my chair, with a candle burning in front of me and listening to Linda's recordings.
I faintly remembered the first time returning from her hotel room and the thought listening to her voice felt odd to me. Truth be told there was some lingering feeling of uneasiness about this activity, like it was somehow unnatural. But it was hard to concentrate on that thought, because at the same time I felt strong urge to listen to her voice more and more.
Her files became a part of my daily routine. I have listened to one right after she left yesterday and apparently fallen asleep while doing it. Even though I woke up energized, there was still something deep inside of me longing for that relaxation and I played another one or two. It was hard to keep up with exact number since they flowed so nicely into each other.
My mind was getting little foggy after those files and it was hard for me to follow my usual daily routine. I tried to think about chores that needed to be done, but then noticed the candle being almost burned out and so I lit another one and was rewarded with more of that sweet scent which was now filling my house from top to bottom. There was a good reason why I burned one scented candle after another, but I could not remember what it was. Smell of the new candle was often intense enough that I had to sit down for a second. Sit down and do something important. Sit down and listen to more files.
The day went by in a flash. Every time my head started to clear a little, I sat down and played another file. It was more like I needed to listen to them instead of just wanting to do it. I should have felt alarmed by it but the thought faded into the background and was replaced with need to listen to Linda's voice and the pleasure she brought me.
It was hard to remember almost anything from those files clearly. Her voice was pleasant, calm and talking to me with resolve and conviction that always made it hard for me to question anything she talked about. Sometimes it felt like she was saying things I disagreed with, but as she kept talking, I found it hard to resist her persuasion. It seemed like she always had all the right lines of reasoning on her side and I was the one being foolish. Again and again, I found myself agreeing with her and repeating things she told me in the end.
I always prided myself to be intelligent, driven and highly motivated to get my work done in the best way possible. But it was getting hard for me to keep that image in my mind while listening to her files. I was proven wrong so many times that I began to second guess my own decision making. It was easier for me to just trust things her voice was telling me. I was still questioning some of them, but it was getting more difficult for me to even remember why I was resisting those ideas in the first place.
Time and time again my beliefs were being challenged in a way I should have been concerned about, but I ended up being unsure what troubled me in a first place. If anything, I almost always felt shame about being too much concerned. There was something bothering me, but at the same time there were these new ideas inside my mind -- that I shouldn't worry so much about everything, take things more lightly and stop thinking about rules that I imposed on myself. Every time I got unsettled, there was a voice inside my head telling me that everything is perfectly fine and I just need to calm down and open my mind.
I was never one for relaxation or opening myself to others, but after two days of listening to Linda's voice, I was used to it so much, that it was hard to separate her words from my own thoughts. Files were calming my mind and I was enjoying listening to them so much, that it became easier and easier to let her in. Each of those recordings had a strange sound track in the background, but it was not important, I just needed to concentrate on her voice.
Every time I finished one of those files, there were new things I wanted to think about, new things I wanted to try. It was little troubling because I could not remember where these ideas came from, but it was like they were always in the back of my mind and I just needed a nudge to notice them. And there were also thoughts that I remembered having before and now they were fading away. I always kept my guard up around people, but for some reason it felt like I should not do that around Linda.
She was special and normal rules did not apply to her and the more I let her get close to me, the better it would feel. I was already feeling pretty amazing right now and that was because I was listening to her and trusting her words. There was still part of me that kept questioning things that her files were telling me, but those questions were fading fast with each file. Something was telling me that Linda's words were more trustworthy than my own beliefs. I could not remember where that thought came from, but it felt too compelling for me to ignore. I kept listening to her voice and it felt like my worldview was changing at the same time.
When I finished with the next recording, it was already evening. Candle on my coffee table was almost burnt out and I lit a new one without even thinking about it. My mind was a foggy and I felt like a student after all-nighter study session -- there was just too much stuff inside my head. I needed to get my bearings, but when I tried to put my thoughts together, they felt like a jumbled mess. So, I decided to freshen up first before doing anything else and went straight to bathroom.
There was something wrong with my reflection, but I could not put finger on what it was. My eyes were little hazy and there was something in my expression that felt alien. But before I could focus on it more, I just went for foam and razor and started shaving stubble on my face. Maybe that was the thing that bothered me because I immediately felt better after being clean shaven. Then I finally jumped into shower and started to scrub myself.
My initial plan was only to take a quick dip, but my thoughts were still meandering and it was hard for me to move fast. In fact, I was moving slower and slower because the water was making my skin more sensitive. My hand started to roam my body slowly and my mind brought up foggy memory of yesterday. Linda in her tight revealing clothing on my couch, so close to me, letting me watch her beautiful body.
I hesitated for a second, because it was unusual for me to fantasize about my friend like this, but almost immediately a thought resurfaced in my mind -- there was nothing wrong with having attractive friends and there was nothing wrong with these harmless fantasies. I kept picturing myself taking off her clothing, revealing sexy underwear underneath it and my hand went down, between my legs. I was getting excited and the picture was even more vivid. I could almost feel her skin under my hand.
And then my doorbell rang.
It felt like a slap in my face, but I stopped the water, quickly wiped myself and wrapped towel around my waist and went for the door to see who the hell was visiting me this late in the evening. I came downstairs when the bell rang again and I was ready to scold the person on the other side of my door. But when I opened the it, Linda was standing on my front porch.
"Is this a bad time?" she smirked looking at my wet hair and towel wrapped around me.
"No, of course it isn't," I responded quickly and my annoyance suddenly vanished. "Come in, I was..." my words just stopped when I realized what I was doing just a minute ago.
"Well, thank you," she smiled, went in and closed the door before I could recover.
She stood with her back to me and this time I caught on and hanged her coat before she had to nudge me. I was rewarded with even more amazing look than the evening before -- her hair was braided so I could see her naked shoulders again. Her navy-blue dress was held up by only two very thin straps and what a dress it was. Long sleeves were the most concealing elements of her garment. The dress was hugging her figure tightly ending just above her knees and it looked like the hem would slide up with almost any movement. Cleavage was more than generous and there was no chance for any kind of bra being under there. Her slim figure was emphasized by big cut outs on both sides of the dress. No jewelry today, but she was wearing a pair of navy heels to match her outfit.
"You look amazing."
"That is what I was going for."
She did not give me a chance to respond and went for a hug. My arms wrapped around her slender figure and I was immediately aware that there is only thin fabric between our two bodies. My first thought was to pull back, but it dissipated when I breathed in her perfume and was replaced by pleasant feeling.
"Shhh, let's enjoy it a little, just a hug between friends," she whispered in my ear.
I opened my mouth to protest, but closed it again because I was unsure why I was worried in a first place. So I hugged her more tightly and breathed in that intoxicating fragrance. Her hands were slowly running over my back, long nails scratching my skin and it felt divine.
"See? There is nothing wrong with this. I want you to concentrate on this feeling -- it is your reward for trusting me and listening to my voice. Take a deep breath and focus on how great this is."
I took a deep breath and rest of my worries melted away. She was right of course; this was just a hug between friends and her body felt amazing against mine. My hands were still wrapped tightly around her shoulders and I felt the heat radiating from her. It felt so liberating to just trust her voice and believe her words.
