Now, thus far, you might have thought that this narrative is just that ... a sequence of events with no apparent rhyme or reason. You would be wrong. There is not only a rousing conclusion in the offing, but an actual moral, of sorts. And indeed, it is THIS chapter that will bring about that conclusion. Further, before we get on with it, I'm going to tell you how the story ends ... without so much as "spoiler alert" warning. We all lived happily ever after. There; you know. Ah, but getting from there to here covered an awful lot of territory.
The event that changed all our lives did not transpire immediately. Indeed, it took a year for circumstances to line themselves up properly. And so, once again, please hang onto your hats while I hit the high points.
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JANUARY 21st, 2012
The day after I sent Sandy off to get her hypnotic training, I phoned my brother to ask how things were going and to make sure he had received his own signed first edition and the accompanying velvet bag. I was expecting just about any reaction ... but he told me that he couldn't talk at the moment ... that he was busy getting yet another blow job from his dedicated hypnotic sex slave girlfriend, and would I mind if he returned my call later?
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FEBRUARY 4th, 2012
There was an injury on the U.S. Olympic gymnastics team earlier in January. (The Summer Games were scheduled that year in London.) There was already an alternate to take her place, but trials were held on this date to replace the athlete for the alternate spot on the U.S. team. It was a Saturday, and more than sixty girls showed up to compete (from the L.A. area alone) ... including Sandy. I hadn't known until now that she WAS a gymnast, but it sure explained her athletic build. Elaine and I went to cheer her on, of course, and together with Tod and Pop, we managed to make a lot of racket. I thought she did a tremendous job in the floor exercises, but she was eliminated after the first round.
We all went out to eat French Dip sandwiches at Philippe's afterwards, and Sandy announced her retirement from gymnastics (at the ripe old age of 25). She told us she had other preoccupations to keep her busy, and she hugged Tod's arm rather affectionately.
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FEBRUARY 20th, 2012
We went to Pop's for dinner, along with Tod and Sandy. It was Washington's Birthday, a federal holiday (we also call it "President's Day," but officially, old George has it all to himself). Okay, for you folks who are not from the U.S., it wasn't REALLY Washington's Birthday ... that's actually the 22nd. But we recognize ten federal holidays per year, and many of them fall on Mondays, because we love our three-day weekends more than we love accuracy. So this was the date for that year. Make sense? Pop grilled steaks.
And Tod and Sandy announced their engagement. Hugs and kisses all around.
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MARCH 11th, 2012
This was the one-year anniversary of the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster. I had purposefully scheduled three major medical tests that day. Some were repeat tests for past positive results. Elaine was sort of hovering around me wherever I went. We both knew she didn't have to go, but she insisted ... to emphasize that we were in this together through thick and thin, I guess.
Bottom line: they were all negative. As I mentioned earlier, these tests are prone to produce false positives ... and that, obviously, was what had plagued me. Nothing more.
Remember a few paragraphs back when I told you there was a moral to this story? I'll spring that on you early, too. It's this: If you are ever faced with severe medical problem, and if you are a true fighter, you should face each day as if you expect to live ... not as if you expect to die. Life is NEVER long enough. I wasted too much of mine being negative.
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JUNE 11th, 2012
It was awfully expensive, but I rented part of a party room at Dodger Stadium for the Angels game. I invited Reggie and Cathy, as well as Tod and Sandy. I don't know why it surprised me, but Tod and Reggie really hit it off, despite rooting for different teams.
Pujols got a game-winning hit in the top of the ninth, and the Angels won 3-2.
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JUNE 17th, 2012
Sandy is now officially a Mrs. Haversham. The wedding was at some fancy B&B mansion in Riverside, not quite halfway between LA and Palm Springs. It wasn't a large affair, but it was really nice, and Sandy looked spectacular. So did Elaine, as a very pregnant maid of honor.
Pop sent them to Hawaii for their honeymoon.
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AUGUST 4th, 2012
Zachary Edward Haversham entered this world at 11:03 am, tipping the scales at seven pounds, one ounce. Mom and son healthy and happy.
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NOVEMBER 6th, 2012