Now, thus far, you might have thought that this narrative is just that ... a sequence of events with no apparent rhyme or reason. You would be wrong. There is not only a rousing conclusion in the offing, but an actual moral, of sorts. And indeed, it is THIS chapter that will bring about that conclusion. Further, before we get on with it, I'm going to tell you how the story ends ... without so much as "spoiler alert" warning. We all lived happily ever after. There; you know. Ah, but getting from there to here covered an awful lot of territory.
The event that changed all our lives did not transpire immediately. Indeed, it took a year for circumstances to line themselves up properly. And so, once again, please hang onto your hats while I hit the high points.
......................
JANUARY 21st, 2012
The day after I sent Sandy off to get her hypnotic training, I phoned my brother to ask how things were going and to make sure he had received his own signed first edition and the accompanying velvet bag. I was expecting just about any reaction ... but he told me that he couldn't talk at the moment ... that he was busy getting yet another blow job from his dedicated hypnotic sex slave girlfriend, and would I mind if he returned my call later?
......................
FEBRUARY 4th, 2012
There was an injury on the U.S. Olympic gymnastics team earlier in January. (The Summer Games were scheduled that year in London.) There was already an alternate to take her place, but trials were held on this date to replace the athlete for the alternate spot on the U.S. team. It was a Saturday, and more than sixty girls showed up to compete (from the L.A. area alone) ... including Sandy. I hadn't known until now that she WAS a gymnast, but it sure explained her athletic build. Elaine and I went to cheer her on, of course, and together with Tod and Pop, we managed to make a lot of racket. I thought she did a tremendous job in the floor exercises, but she was eliminated after the first round.
We all went out to eat French Dip sandwiches at Philippe's afterwards, and Sandy announced her retirement from gymnastics (at the ripe old age of 25). She told us she had other preoccupations to keep her busy, and she hugged Tod's arm rather affectionately.
......................
FEBRUARY 20th, 2012
We went to Pop's for dinner, along with Tod and Sandy. It was Washington's Birthday, a federal holiday (we also call it "President's Day," but officially, old George has it all to himself). Okay, for you folks who are not from the U.S., it wasn't REALLY Washington's Birthday ... that's actually the 22nd. But we recognize ten federal holidays per year, and many of them fall on Mondays, because we love our three-day weekends more than we love accuracy. So this was the date for that year. Make sense? Pop grilled steaks.
And Tod and Sandy announced their engagement. Hugs and kisses all around.
......................
MARCH 11th, 2012
This was the one-year anniversary of the Japanese earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster. I had purposefully scheduled three major medical tests that day. Some were repeat tests for past positive results. Elaine was sort of hovering around me wherever I went. We both knew she didn't have to go, but she insisted ... to emphasize that we were in this together through thick and thin, I guess.
Bottom line: they were all negative. As I mentioned earlier, these tests are prone to produce false positives ... and that, obviously, was what had plagued me. Nothing more.
Remember a few paragraphs back when I told you there was a moral to this story? I'll spring that on you early, too. It's this: If you are ever faced with severe medical problem, and if you are a true fighter, you should face each day as if you expect to live ... not as if you expect to die. Life is NEVER long enough. I wasted too much of mine being negative.
......................
JUNE 11th, 2012
It was awfully expensive, but I rented part of a party room at Dodger Stadium for the Angels game. I invited Reggie and Cathy, as well as Tod and Sandy. I don't know why it surprised me, but Tod and Reggie really hit it off, despite rooting for different teams.
Pujols got a game-winning hit in the top of the ninth, and the Angels won 3-2.
......................
JUNE 17th, 2012
Sandy is now officially a Mrs. Haversham. The wedding was at some fancy B&B mansion in Riverside, not quite halfway between LA and Palm Springs. It wasn't a large affair, but it was really nice, and Sandy looked spectacular. So did Elaine, as a very pregnant maid of honor.
Pop sent them to Hawaii for their honeymoon.
......................
AUGUST 4th, 2012
Zachary Edward Haversham entered this world at 11:03 am, tipping the scales at seven pounds, one ounce. Mom and son healthy and happy.
......................
NOVEMBER 6th, 2012
The second Tuesday in November is Election Day in the U.S., and this was a presidential election, to boot. We all know how that turned out, of course; or if you can't remember, you can look it up. Tod and I usually don't vote, and we renew our pact not to every election day. He's a moderate Republican and I'm a liberal Democrat, so we just cancel each other out, anyway. This year, Sandy rather vociferously insisted that we do our patriotic duty.
So, we went ... and cancelled each other out.
......................
JANUARY 12th, 2013
The night that changed our lives was a Saturday. Tod and Sandy had come over for dinner, and I had done the honors in the kitchen, pounding the hell out of some chicken breasts to make scaloppini, with linguini and red sauce for a side. Not too bad, if I do say so myself. Tod had brought a large bottle of nice Cabernet, and even Elaine had a glass while she nursed Zack (a nurse-practitioner had told her that if she drank a single glass while nursing, the alcohol should all be out of her system by the time she nursed again). I had strongly suggested that she stay in the room with us while she breast-fed, and she had blushed, but complied. I think it turned us all on a little ... especially her. She sort of gets off on humiliation.
The girls wandered off to play with the baby in the nursery, but Tod and I had things to discuss that evening, and we planned and plotted secretly, just like we did when we were kids. I had to put the meal on hold for about half an hour while we waited for the baby to fall asleep, but eventually, he was down at his regular time of eight o'clock. Recently, he'd been sleeping through until about two in the morning, then one changing and feeding, and he was asleep until around seven. A "schedule" had been a long time in coming, but we were happy with the way things were turning out. There was a white noise generator in his room, and the sound was with us in the dining room, too, through the baby monitor.
The dinner conversation was mostly about Tod and Sandy's latest ski trip to Big Bear, where they had met up with Reggie and Cathy, and even visited their new place at Lake Arrowhead, which is only about forty minutes west of there in the same mountains. It sounded like a fun time, and I was sort of jealous of their freedom.
We chattered about the baby a lot, of course, and I talked as much as I dared about my thesis (which was due in a few weeks) without boring them to tears. We all pitched in on the dishes and then retired to the living room, where I lit a fire in the fireplace using one of those wax logs that last three or four hours. Sandy had consumed two glasses of wine, which isn't much, until you consider the fact that she only weighs a hundred pounds. In other words, she was comfortably tipsy. Finally, with a nod in my direction, Tod decided to get our plan underway, and he reached into the pocket of his jeans and tossed me his little green velvet bag.
The girls, who were sitting side-by-side on the couch, gasped in unison at the sight, and the room fell into a silence which was only broken by the droning white-noise sounds in the baby's room through the monitor. But, for some reason, that only seemed to intensify the girls' drowsiness when I pulled the little hourglass-shaped crystal into view. We had never attempted to hypnotize them together before, and it was a bit of a shock to watch them. They had the same look of shocked surprise, the same wide eyes, and then those eyes drooped and blinked at precisely the same time. They sagged into each other on the couch, their shoulders and arms relaxing, their necks struggling to hold up sleepy heads, which nodded and finally rested onto one another's.
I didn't even have to say anything for a long minute or so, but finally, I started giving them guidance. "You are about to surrender and fall asleep together," I intoned softly but authoritatively. "You are going to go very deep tonight ... and so, follow my words, and watch the gem. Let your thoughts ... just slip away. Slip away. Think of nothing. Nothing at all ... because my words ... will become your thoughts. So just let them go ... and be sleepy for me. Sleepy for me. And so ... surrender ... and let your thoughts ... go away ... now!"
They were both gone, deep in their trances, propping each other up in the center of the couch. Their arms hung limp at their sides, and between them, Sandy's right hand had fallen naturally into Elaine's left. Tod and I just stood there, watching them. I was a little shocked when Sandy sat up, opened her eyes, looked directly at me and said: "I am very deep, Master." Only a few seconds later, Elaine followed suite, also looking at me, and saying distinctly: "I'm there, Master. I'm as deep as I can go."
I sighed and turned to Tod. "You're sure you're okay with this, right?"
He was smiling at the two of them. "Yes ... just as long as YOU'RE okay with my new rules."
"I'll be good," I promised him. "I'll go back into our bedroom and leave you two all alone. You remember everything you did that evening? It's been more than a year."
He barked a laugh. "I doubt I'll ever forget it, as long as I live." He paused a few seconds. "She's breast-feeding. Isn't it hard to get pregnant when you're breast-feeding?"