And though she was wearing panties, which I found oddly erotic looking at, she was also sporting a fairly impressive looking erection, which also looked rather interesting pressed so tightly against the dainty material.
But that is also when it dawned on me. That cock, that prick, that turgidly hard member would soon be sliding in and out of my pussy. I was about to be fucked, truly fucked for the first time in my bizarre little male-she existence.
"Look, I know how you must be feeling right about now Howard, because I'm feeling it too. I'm looking at you as a woman at the moment, a very attractive, sexy woman. And yet inside, I know...you're a man. And you...looking at me as a man, a man with a hard cock, something I know must be foreign to you to even contemplate. But you have to keep in mind, I'm very much a woman inside. A woman who is very much attracted to men, and yet...here I am as a woman, about to fuck a woman in the physical. But we both have to find a way around that logic, that mentality, or we'll never accomplish what we absolutely have to do here."
"Any suggestions?" I asked feeling a little silly at the moment, apprehensive and uncertain for sure.
"Maybe...something that might help, but it's also a bit dangerous in some respects. More so for you than me maybe, only because I've been living like this for a lot longer than you have, and have learned how to control it, deal with it. But let me ask..." Chris walked over to the bed sitting down on it, drawing me down next to her. Both naked, the inevitable only moments away now, she took my hands in hers. "Have there been moments when you've sort of felt yourself losing your identity? I call it crossing over. It's when your thoughts, even though they're your own, almost feel like they're hers. If that even makes any sense to you."
"Actually, it does. There have been times when I have this mental image of myself, and see myself shaking my head, as though doing so to clear my head, my thoughts. Realizing I was thinking as a woman, and not as who...and what I am. Almost as though I was actually becoming my cousin."
"Good," she said smiling at me. "Good in the sense that... that is what we need to do here now. Only we have to allow the cross-over to some extent, albeit only briefly. But like I said, that's where it's more dangerous for you than for me. I've learned how to accept that, and feel myself as Chris, and not as Christine. You need to do that now...Faye," she said calling me by my cousin's name. "From here on in, while we're doing this, getting familiar, getting comfortable. You have to become Faye, just as I will be...Chris. Think you can do that?"
I looked down at her groin. "It might help if you were to take the panties off," I told her. "I'm finding that weirdly erotic, and not necessarily in a good way either."
Christine laughed, standing up again, and hurriedly stripping off the black lace panties until she stood in front of me, her hard stiff cock sticking straight out in front of her. I now knew, she'd become Chris, just as I was about to let myself go, and actually become...Faye.
**
It was in a way again...like having an out of body experience, only wide awake. I had to force my mind's eye to see myself as Faye...not as Howard. I began to draw on the various sensations I had learned about her body, how each of these felt when I first explored my new self. I remembered the intensely electrifying tingles when I had first touched her breasts. Feeling the super sensitivity in having done that. The way the electrical pulses, surges of arousal and desire had traveled so foreignly down between my legs, to my clit...my clit. Not Faye's clit, not even Howard's clit...but my clit.
My clit. I was neither Faye, nor Howard. I was a woman at the moment without a name, but that almost seemed more appropriate, more acceptable under the circumstances than anything else. I needed to be anonymous, and I needed Chris, Christine to be a stranger in a way to me as well. Someone I didn't see as either one. I reached out, wrapping my small delicate hand around his thick hard cock, squeezing it, familiarizing myself with the length and girth of it, finding it arousing as I did that. It had been so long, or so it seemed anyway, since I had actually felt myself holding a dick...a cock, a prick...in my hand.
"Turn out the lights now," I told him. "And fuck me."
**
When the lights went off, about all I could see was a bit of shadowed definition. It was the perfect cloak...for the moment anyway, to submerge myself into this new persona. My lover now...as I came to think of him, leaned over, sucking my breast. I felt that all too familiar tingle of delight, the surge of arousal and ecstasy as he mouthed my tit. I could feel the anticipatory pulsation as my clit began to throb in hopeful expectation. Hearing a moan escape from my lips, a whispered breath as I fully succumbed to the almost overwhelming sensations. Especially when next his fingers reached down in exploration, quickly finding the nerve center of my sex, tweaking it. I moaned again, even louder this time. Likewise reaching out again myself now, finding that rigidly hard tumescent member as I began to stroke it, exploring it, and familiarizing myself with the object that would soon be sliding in and out of my very depths.
And then he groaned. And I smiled inwardly, finding delight in this simple pleasure, this intimate contact that was rapidly escalating in want and desire for us both. I took delight in the surge of pearly like fluid that leaked from the tip of his prick. So slick, so erotically hot as I smeared it over and around the head of his dick, just as he was likewise coating, teasing and slicking my clit up with my very similar female lubrications. Laying there in the darkness, hearing the sounds, which were so familiar to me in many ways, and yet hearing and sensing them all so differently at the same time. That slick, squishy sensual splurge as I stroked the helmet of his blood engorged shaft. The same holding true for me as well, though the furrow of my sex now basically dripped and pooled my pre-spending that made more of a splat sound as his palm now cupped, pressed and half-spanked the entire area surrounding my pubic mound. I lifted up my ass in wanton greeting to that, the desire building now, the unknown before me. I needed it, wanted it...
"Please...please, fuck me. Fuck me...stick your cock inside, and fuck me."
**
I was half expecting it to feel a little like the way it had when Sharon had slid that fairly realistic looking dildo inside me, when we'd fucked. I was pleasantly surprised when it didn't. Not really. There was a noticeable difference. There was nothing real, nothing alive about the phallus that had filled me then. Pleasure yes, and even that in a different sense. This was real. This had internal warmth, a heartbeat of its own perhaps, a throbbing that was born of need and desire, now matching my own. It was so unlike the sensation I'd felt when Sharon had fucked me. This had depth, a sense of being...of joining, unlike anything I had ever felt before. I felt nerve endings come alive inside me, somewhere deep, all encompassing. I met each thrust, each lunge with a complimentary contraction, savoring the exquisite friction. Almost involuntarily, I gripped, held, and fought to hold on, yet finding pleasure and delight in the inability to do so. And then welcoming again, the forceful intrusion, that spearing heat that sliced into me, pummeling me, hammering the depths of my very soul.
It ended all too sweetly.
Nowhere's near my own climatic release, I felt the sudden eruption, the quick pulsating throbs. I didn't feel the actual spurting as much as I did feel that. A throb, a sense of release, knowing that as I did, he was emptying his seed deep inside my womb.
"I'm sorry...like I said, it's been a while."
I felt oddly frustrated. So close, and yet so far away. "It's ok, I understand," I said in response to that. "And besides, this was mostly about getting through the awkwardness wasn't it?" I said reaching over then, turning on the light. Chris rolled over, pulling up the sheet covering himself, as though he...now she again, felt as shy and embarrassed as I might have. I remained comfortable in my skin, standing up moving off into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. "I could use a smoke," I said laughing. "And I know for a fact that neither Faye nor I even smokes."
