Serendipity

Serendipity.

Ever heard of it? It's what they call something good you trip across when looking for something else. Like the man who's out prospecting for gold and finds a diamond mine.

That's what happened to me. I have a formula that will make me rich. Stinking rich. People will hound me to buy what I have to sell.

What happened was this. I'm a chemist. Quite a good one. As a side line I design perfumes. I have what they call a natural nose, and I can just tell if a perfume I'm working on is going to be good or just good in the bottle. One big problem with perfumes is the way your body oils can completely change the fragrance. That doesn't happen with my perfumes.

Anyway, I was experimenting. What I was looking for was a perfume that would act as a mild aphrodisiac. Something you could buy your girl and it would gently turn her on when she wore it, to your ultimate benefit.

What I found was something else. I had these two samples I was working on. I like trying a number of different processes at once to sort of cross fertilise my ideas. I've had a few lucky breaks doing that.

This time I had a little accident. I dropped the vials. Normally not a problem as the vials are quite tough and rarely break. This time I was unlucky. First vial hit the floor and bounced up into the other vial and both of them broke, mixing the two perfumes.

Did I mention I was at the lab, working late? Probably not. Well I was. As far as I was concerned the cleaning staff could work around me.

Oh, yes. The perfumes. They were both attempts at the aphrodisiac range. (Neither worked and didn't go on sale, so you can stop hoping.) It was the mixture of the two scents that caused the problem.

Do you know what an aphrodisiac is? It's something that increases desire. Not ability to follow through on that desire, but the desire itself. There are drugs that help your performance. Viagra comes to mind. Why's he rambling on like this, you're wondering. I'm trying to find the words to explain what happened next.

The scent hit my nose. Smell is an underrated sense. It can invoke powerful reactions. This accidental scent acted like aromatic Viagra. One strong whiff and I had this raging erection and an impulse to try it out.

It was just an impulse, mind you. I didn't have this desperate desire to go out and ravish the first female I came across. I just had an erection and a willingness to use it.

It turns out that the damned stuff had a slightly different effect on women. I mentioned the cleaning staff, yes? A little more on that. The woman who cleaned the lab was large. Like 300 pounds of large. She was as wide as she was tall. I'm not trying to insult her, but she opens the double doors when she walks into the lab. She is also redolent of an unpleasant mix of sweat and detergent.

I was regretting the loss of the perfumes as I'd have to make them again and amused at my own predicament with my erection yelling for attention. (I was definitely going to have to get laid that night.)

I'm standing there thinking I'll have to get the cleaner to mop up the mess and it's fortunate that she's here when I hear this grunting sound. I look up and here's this very large cleaning lady lumbering towards me as fast as she could run. At the same time she's ripping off her clothes as she comes and breathing hard.

I'm standing there, staring in surprise when she reaches me at about the same time her clothes were gone. Here's where I found that instead of standing staring, I should have been running. Before I realise her intentions, she's ripping my clothes off me.

My god, the woman may have been big and fat but she was strong. She forced me to the ground in nothing flat and sat on me while she ripped my trousers off. It turned out that what was a strong erection with an itch to satisfy it in me became a desperate craving to get laid in her, and she was acting on it.

The next thing I know she's mounted me and is bouncing up and down, screaming in delight. This went on and on, her taking her pleasure and squashing me like a trodden grape in the process.

Did I climax, you ask? Yes, but that didn't help me at all. That damned scent was in the air and while I could smell it my gonads were standing up and screaming time for sex. I seemed to have a permanent erection and that damned hippo was taking full advantage of it, screaming with delight every time she had a climax.

I swear the woman would have fucked me to death if I hadn't managed to dislodge something on the desk and spill it onto the perfume. That changed the scent enough that it no longer had the same power.

Typical woman, after her next climax she hauled herself up off me and screamed rape and went lumbering out of the lab yelling for help.

The rape charge didn't stand up, mind you. It was evident that she'd been on top and bouncing on me, not me on her. The massive bruising proved that, quite apart from the fact that no man in their right mind would try to assault that behemoth.

When I got out of hospital I went back to the lab and remixed the initial two vials. A little bit of judicious testing and I had my Viagra in a scent. (My girlfriend helped me test this. I had a really interesting week.)

The trouble is if I sell this stuff, the first man to get jumped by a lust crazed woman is going to sue my ass off, no matter how many disclaimers I put on the bottle. I have nightmares of some practical joker spilling out a bottle at some public place like the football or even the opera.

Men are OK with the stuff. They can enjoy their erections and work them off with the partner of their choice. It's women that are the problem. Haven't they got any control over their lusts? One whiff and they jump the nearest thing in trousers.

That's serendipity. Look for something and find something better. You just have to watch out in case you've found a poisoned chalice.