All hail the new Queen
Donna didn't come back to the Mission that Friday. After I finished the screwdriver she'd mixed for me, I checked both doors to make sure they were locked before going upstairs to mix another one for myself. Once I'd accomplished that, I began stripping out of my uniform for the second time that day. I left it on the living room floor where it fell, moving to the sectional, snuggling into the corner with my drink to look out the window as I often found myself doing.
I awoke there Saturday morning with a light hangover. Making my way to the kitchenette, I immediately mixed another drink and used it to down three
Tylenol
before taking what was left in the glass down the hall where I began putting myself together for the day.
By the time I was done, wearing a barely decent pair of denim shorts and a braless, pink T-shirt, I realized that I wasn't feeling horribly about anything that morning. I was feeling good. Not great, but good. Perhaps, once again, it was only the vodka but, if that were the case, it was reason for another screwdriver. Because good plus good equals gooder.
With this one, I sat back in the corner of my sectional again, feeling my tummy growl for food, remembering Donna's words about how I wasn't part of the Army, so much as it was a part of my life. She'd said that I had it in me to really help people, emphasizing her words in such a way as to suggest that something, most likely the Army itself, was presently holding me back from that. I hadn't been wearing the uniform for very long, but it had been a lifelong goal, my great achievement to date. I looked at it, untidily lining the floor where I'd carelessly left it between the kitchenette and sectional, her words making me wonder what my life might be without it.
Then I began to more seriously wonder about how things had gone with Donna's unscheduled meeting with the Major the day before. I had no doubt that she was able to get in to see him, regardless of his busy itinerary, and I considered calling her, but I wasn't sure if I should or not. Though I was feeling good about myself, I was still afraid when I remembered how my Donna had left the Mission the day before.
But, what exactly was I afraid of? I knew she'd never hurt me so, in that respect, I had no real reason to fear her, and it wasn't as if the Major held any special place in my heart at that point, so his personal wellbeing was of little or no concern to me. Was it just the fact that it was a situation in my life that I had no control over? One that involved me and my long sought after, now precarious career?
However, I had to believe that Donna wouldn't ruin my career. Though she had no respect for the uniform, or the organization it represented, I knew that she did love and respect me, even though she sometimes had a funny way of showing it. However, while I thought I could feel secure in her not sabotaging my career, I also somehow had the idea that this was only because she wanted me to be the one to end it. It was the same as how she wanted me to see Christianity differently, wanted me to be the one to leave my faith behind so that it would be real and final for me so that I could believe in a decision to move on with no regrets. As she'd said, she wanted me to figure things out for myself and, as much as I felt threatened by that on behalf of my career and the faith it was centered around, I also had to respect her for it. It meant that she respected me.
Taking another sip, I looked at my smartphone, still sitting where I'd left it on the coffee table. Moments later, I had it in my hand, listening to Donna's ring on the other end until it was answered.
"We're sorry, the Sasktel customer you're trying to reach is either away from their phone, or outside our-"
"Shhit!" I hissed, breaking the connection.
But, eying the phone in my hand for a moment, I was inspired with another idea. Going back to my contacts list, I found her number again but, this time, I sent her a text.
Hey, sexy. Please give me a call when you can.
Holding the corner of my phone to my lips, I then contemplated yet another idea. Should I just go to her house? It wasn't that far away, in an area called
Harbour Landing
, which I found kind of comical, given that Saskatchewan is a landlocked province, without any kind of harbour where anybody could actually 'land'.
But, I couldn't do that. How would I ever explain to Donna about how I knew where she lived? More importantly, how would she take that? While I wasn't afraid that she'd actually hurt me, I certainly didn't want her mad at me for any reason, and anybody who's ever experienced her anger, the awful, frightening things that happen in her eyes when she loses her temper, would completely understand that.
With my thoughts turning to Donna's eyes, a question that had been sneaking around the back of my mind since I'd come to firmly believe that there was something
wrong
about her finally surfaced.
Was Donna evil?
The question, dragged out into the light, seemed silly and I had to wonder about that, given my faith. I mean, one who believes in Christ has to almost automatically believe in Satan and, therefore, the existence of evil, so why did it seem like such a silly question?
People routinely use that word, 'evil', to describe many very bad things, Hitler being probably the most common example. As another example, some say that Communism is evil for how it disallows God, but these examples weren't the evil I was thinking about. I was thinking about 'Evil'. With a capital 'E'. The merit badge that Satan himself proudly wore. And why should this seem so silly, on a par with the zombie apocalypse? Was it because true evil is so rarely encountered in the world that people, even devout Christians, didn't really believe in it anymore?
Getting back to the real question though, did I believe that Donna was evil, or 'Evil', I suppose I should say? I've described her eyes as being two black pits that led straight to hell, but wasn't that just an impression that my fearful reaction to them was coming up with? What if she was only... different? I mean, if she really was evil, like some kind of demon or monster, then how could she love me as she did? From what I knew of Evil, love was certainly not included anywhere in its list of attributes. Furthermore, if she was Evil, how could I love her back? As a Christian, I should be automatically and naturally repelled by her. So, Donna either wasn't Evil, or... or I wasn't really Christian. At least not in the sense that God knew me. If Donna was Evil, that would explain my ability to love her, wouldn't it? In fact, by definition, that made me just as Evil as her.
Suddenly disturbed by this line of thought, I backed away, understanding why I'd left the question of whether or not Donna was evil to languish in the back of my mind. I wasn't the type to avoid issues, but this was one I really didn't feel ready for, at least not until all the facts were in. There were too many unlit roads that led to some very unpleasant places, and it was best not to travel them without the light of facts.
Finding my glass empty, I got up to mix another drink, remembering on my way to the kitchenette how suddenly uncomfortable the Major had become when I asked him if God spoke to him. I smiled with satisfaction, recalling Donna's speech about that and what his reactions to my questions said about him.
One thing I was truly coming to love was not wearing a bra. I loved the airy, free swinging feel, the way they bounced when I walked, not to mention how they looked, slightly spread and natural with their nice, fat, pointy nipples. Opening the refrigerator and seeing that I was running low on vodka, I realized that I'd have to go get more before I was too blitzed to drive, and I only hesitated for a few seconds before slipping on my shoes and leaving the house without bothering to put one on.
Needless to say, I got a lot of forbiddingly fun attention at the liquor store for that and, by the time I returned to the Mission with two big bottles of vodka, I was decidedly horny. So I mixed myself another drink and went to get my laptop, deciding that I wanted to watch a young woman sucking a nice, big, thick penis.
But, I had trouble finding a video that really satisfied me. I could have watched one from my saved file, but I wanted something new. Something that held surprises, like what happened in the downstairs kitchen that day with me, Donna, Haley and her brother, Darren. Surprise could be lots of fun.
And so, sitting there at my coffee table, I lost interest in the scene playing out on my laptop, instead thinking of Darren's cock, then his fathers, thrilling to the fact that I'd actually sucked on that one. I'd made him cum. In my mouth.