Nipasinakoosewin
My Wednesday morning stroll was shorter than I would have liked. This was due to the fact that I hadn't gotten out to buy better walking shoes the night before. I'd stayed in instead, Donna and I slumbering in my bed after our bath until she left later that evening, when she was sure I was feeling better about myself. And I was. Wednesday morning, however, was another story.
The things she'd told me the night before, the reasons why I could be sure that Darren and Haley would never say anything and the whole lesson on the mechanics of salvation, were true and still held so in my mind. This wasn't exactly what was bothering me. The thing that had my mind completely occupied as I strolled the quiet, residential streets was a growing feeling that there was something...
wrong.
I wasn't sure what it was but, as much as I hated to admit it, it seemed to center around Donna. I hated to admit to that because of the way I'd come to see her. She was a great assistant, had been helping me out in ways that I couldn't have imagined, had become a great friend, (and more) and I was beginning to grow real feelings for her. What was more, I could still feel that connection between us, that strange, familial bond that went beyond our shared perversions that I couldn't quite put my finger on, and the more I got to know her, the stronger it became.
But, when it came to that, after a week and a day knowing her, what did I really know
about
her? Next to nothing.
In the meantime, while it was true that my first posting was turning out to be the time of my life, Donna being largely responsible for this, it also felt like my life was no longer under my control. It seemed more like she was the one who was in control, but I wasn't quite sure why I felt that way. Was it because of how she'd orchestrated the incredible events in the kitchen the day before? The way it was she who'd recruited the help of the Bennett family in the first place, or the way she was largely responsible for what we'd been able to get done on the house?
Thinking about it, I began to feel that it was all these factors combined, but what did this mean? Apart from the incestuous fun we'd had with the Bennett siblings, her involvement had proved to be nothing but good for me. True, we were having lesbian sex, a carnal act forbidden by God, but that was as much me as it was her. To be fair to her, she'd have put her top back on that day had I not intentionally discouraged her by removing my blouse before she could. For that matter, while she'd instigated the scene with Darren and Haley, I didn't exactly stop it, had in fact encouraged it by telling Haley to suck her own brother's cock. Donna herself had pointed this out to me but, on the other hand, could I really believe that Haley would have been giving her brother oral in my kitchen had I never met Donna?
The very memory of those events began turning me on as I walked, eyes cast down at the sidewalk ahead of me as many local inhabitants do. My arousal in itself seemed to vindicate Donna in some way, even though I knew that the answer to my last question was a resounding, 'No'. Brushing away my pussy tingling anticipation over what kind of 'transgressions' I'd be involved in that afternoon, I finally came around to the subject matter that I, for some reason, wanted to avoid.
For a non-Christian, Donna could sure preach some pretty good Christian reason. She obviously knew scripture and how to use it, and that did bother me as I remembered something one of my CFOT instructors said during my second year, Professional Ethics course about how even Satan could quote scripture, and much better than we could. Obviously, I'm not saying that I suspected Donna of being Satan in disguise, and I didn't even like making this comparison in my mind. It was only that I began to realize that I needed to look beyond my reliance on, and feelings for her. I had to keep in mind that I was the spiritual authority, and that her motivations as a non-Christian, given our sexual relationship and the events in the kitchen the day before, bore closer inspection.
These were difficult thoughts. It would have been much easier for me to simply allow her to lead me in the things she'd said, the reasoning she fed me. It would have been easier to allow her to satisfy my fears in order that some of my actions and the wanton desires that fueled them could be justified, but I had the spiritual responsibility of having to be more honest with myself than that.
Walking along, my frowning face still cast down as I went, I was so deep in thought that I literally ran into someone. Startled out of my inner conflict, I looked up to behold a middle aged woman on the sidewalk. She was aboriginal, a mildly attractive, tall, overweight representative of her race, and she looked at me with surprise and curiosity. She was with an old man and, when I say this, I mean a very old man. Also aboriginal, his face looked like it had been carved out of rock, emotionless as he stood there staring at me from her side, his hand on her forearm for support while hers was at his elbow.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," I apologised. 'I was- I should be looking where I'm going."
"No, its okay," she said with a sudden smile, noting the uniform. "You weren't the only one who wasn't looking where she was going. You okay?"
"Yes, you?"
She nodded, looking at my uniform again with a question mark in her features.
"My name is Lieutenant Watts," I said with a smile, sticking out my hand.
Letting go of the staring old man's elbow, she took my hand, shook it and asked, "Your mother named you 'Lieutenant'?"
"Tara," I further introduced with a laugh.
She nodded and returned, "I'm Lisa, and this is my grandpa, Albert."
"Pleased to meet you both," I said, nodding politely to the silent old Indian before adding, "I've just moved to the neighbourhood, over on Rae Street. The Salvation Army has opened a Community Mission there, and-"
I was interrupted by the sound of her smartphone's ring. She offered an apologetic smile as she took it from her pocket to answer the call. After the word, "Hello", her entire, short conversation was conducted in Cree. She seemed undecided about something and, at one point, looked at me doubtfully before taking the phone from the side of her face to address me.
"Uh, could you do me a really big favour?"
I didn't know quite how to respond to that. A 'really big favour' could be anything, and I was understandably hesitant to agree to doing one for a complete stranger, but she went on to explain before I had to decide.
"I need to run a few streets over for something, but I can't take my grandpa. Could you please stay here with him for me? Ten minutes, tops. I promise."
Albert continued to stare as though I were the first white person he'd ever seen.
"Uh, well, I..."
"You'd really be helping me out big time. This is my house right here," she told me, gesturing to the dilapidated looking, brown shingled structure behind her. Apparently she'd just been leaving home when I'd run into her at the end of her walk. "You could sit in the shade on the front steps while you wait, and I promise I won't be gone long."
I'll be honest here. I didn't have any experience with seniors and had no particular interest in gaining any. But it then occurred to me that my entire mission there in North Central was all about helping people, and here was someone asking for my help, so...
"Okay."
"Oh, great! Thank you
so
much," she said before turning to the elder at her side to convey something in Cree.
He made no reply but, when she was finished, Lisa looked back at me to say, "He doesn't speak English, but he'll be okay. I really appreciate this, Tara, and I swear I'll be right back."
And, with that, she was off, hurrying down the sidewalk, speaking into her phone again and leaving me alone with the old man who only continued to stare suspiciously at me.
With a nervous smile, I pointed at myself and said in a slightly loud voice, "My name is Tara."
No reply, only more staring.
Pointing again, I repeated, "Tara."
Still no reply.
"O-kay," I cheerily acknowledged.
After briefly looking around myself for someone who might know Cree and finding nobody, I visually located those shady front steps that Lisa had mentioned at the front of her abode. With silly hand gestures, I tried to convey to him that we should move there to wait but, as he only stared unnervingly in reply, there was no way to know if he got it. I went to take his arm to lead him there myself, but he pulled away, sudden surprise and maybe a little fear in his wooden features.
I found this odd, but paid it little mind in the face of a growing irritation with the old man. So finally, I was left with no choice but to start up the walkway by myself, looking back with gestures for him to follow. He stood rooted to the spot until I got to the steps and sat, looking at him expectantly. I smiled at him, wondering if his eyesight was good enough to see it from the end of the short walk, and patted the spot beside me, a universal invitation that I figured he would understand. Without a word, he turned and began his way up the walk towards me. When he got to the front steps, however, he only stood there, just inside the shade and facing me as I once again became the object of his staring curiosity. This was more than just a little awkward.
Having given up on any meaningful interaction with Albert, I looked idly about me, at the street and the other houses lining it, beginning to wonder at what kind of person leaves her vulnerable, elderly grandparent with a total stranger in the first place. I mean, what was so important that she had to run off without him? For all I knew, she was off 'scoring a hit', as they say, and there I was, enabling her in a foolish attempt to be of help.
With a sigh, I settled my eyes back on Albert, wondering what kind of life he'd led. I wondered what kind of life he'd been born into and the changes he'd seen over his lifetime that brought his people to where they are now. I wondered if anybody had ever tried to tell him of Jesus Christ and the plentiful gifts of Spirit that He offered. After my painfully limited success with him to that point, I wasn't about to try.
Looking around myself again, I tried to imagine the area as it might have been before white men had come, picturing the vast plains uninterrupted by the trees that we'd planted, the cities and roadways that we'd built, transmission towers and powerlines we'd strung, the clean air that we'd polluted. I supposed that these things were the price of civilization, the down sides to nice, heated homes in the winter, heated cars that could get us twenty miles across town in a half hour, or to the supermarket where an endless variety of food from all over the world awaited to be simply removed from the shelf and taken home. Alternatively, one could just get on their smartphone to call a taxi that would pull up to their front door to take them to the nearest hospital for modern medical care, or take a bus across town to work, gaining the paper currency that made the availability of all these things we take for granted possible. Of course, if one didn't have a job and was without means of gaining said paper currency, one would sooner or later end up living at another form of modern convenience, such as a Salvation Army homeless shelter. A great place for those who'd ruined their lives with drugs, alcohol, gambling and etcetera. If one couldn't find a place there, there was always the option of living in a filthy alleyway in a cardboard box while an uncaring populace walked right on by as though you didn't exist. So intent on their viciously competitive little lives, they'd turn a blind eye while you starved or froze to death in this wonderful age of convenience and modern miracles.
Looking at Albert again, (Still staring suspiciously at me) I sighed, inwardly redefining the word 'civilization'.
Lisa finally returned, a plastic
Sobeys
