Secret Journal

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

Wow, big weekend! After all our prep and negotiations about quarantine issues, SS came over, just for a night. Tam and Janis were shockingly okay with it, in the end- They spent a while talking with SS while I was out on our weekly grocery run and when I came back, they said they were convinced SS was good people and all their misgivings had been answered. They even said they weren't so worried about the hypnosis thing anymore! If I didn't know they would never do such a thing, I'd suspect SS hypnotized them while I was out, ha ha! :) But I know SS is completely trustworthy and I can put any doubts completely out of my mind.

I might need to spend a little "special" time thinking about that idea, though. Tam and Janis don't know anything about hypnosis, they wouldn't realize it if SS started to turn a conversation about allaying their fears into a gradual covert induction...

Nnngh. Focus. Apparently I'm still *super* horny! Which is not at all surprising. SS spent the night... in my bed... Diary, it was everything I hoped for it to be.

A lot of the night is a blank, of course. Heehee. :) I forget things so easily for SS. God, that is so fucking hot. Swoon.

Diary, it was everything I hoped for it to be.

Okay, definitely time for that "special" time now...

Aoife

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

God, I've really got it bad. I'm so head-over-heels for SS... I catch myself just kind of zoning out at random times, thinking about them.

Tam and Janis have noticed, of course, but they say it's cute. *blush* The first time it happened in front of them, they were *talking* about me right in front of me and I couldn't even focus enough to make sense of the words, it just went right on past me. But for a moment I could have sworn Janis said I was being a "good girl"! God, I blushed so hard at that. It turned out she just said I was being a good *girlfriend*, to SS. But when I thought it was that other thing... Janis and I don't play in that way, when we get together. But with SS I definitely do! I had to run to my bedroom to "think" about that for a while right away after that...

Aoife

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

Remember when I said I kept zoning out thinking about SS at random times? I figured out why that was happening! I mean, beyond SS being just generally wonderful and worth thinking about a lot. :) SS has this very distinctive floral scent they use as perfume, they even left a scarf with their scent on it for me to sleep next to at night to remember them (I love it), and *apparently* Tam got *dish soap* with that same floral scent so I keep smelling it at random times. It really makes me floaty and dreamy just thinking about SS, I must associate that scent with hypnosis because they dropped me so much when they visited. SS might have even used it as an explicit trigger, I don't remember for sure. I forget things so easily for SS.

Anyway I kind of blurted out my train of thought in front of Tam and Janis when I was figuring this out, and since then they've teased me about it sometimes. I told Janis about the "good girl" thing and the most recent time I zoned out like that Janis actually *said* "good girl" and god, I almost died. Well, when I came out of it and realized what happened I almost died. At the time I almost came.

I guess secretly, it made me feel proud to think that I'm *such* a good girl for SS that other people can *see* it and remark on it...

*blush*

Can't tell SS that, though, they'll use the knowledge for evil! Ha ha. :) Though I know SS is completely trustworthy and I can put any doubts completely out of my mind.

Oookay, going to go spend some "special" time now thinking about SS using their power over me for evil...

Aoife

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

If I didn't know them so well and they didn't look so completely unaware I'd swear Tam and Janis were *conspiring* with SS against me. The latest thing is that one or the other of them will just randomly say things that SS uses as training mantras for me. Like we were talking about SS (okay, their name comes up a lot, did I mention that I'm really smitten?) and Tam says "I love listening to SS's voice." I gave kind of a sharp look at this, but, I mean, okay, SS has an *amazing* voice and it's natural to love listening to it, and as near as I could tell at the time it was just an innocent remark that just happened to be one of my training mantras.

But *then*. Later in that conversation... and actually, we were in the kitchen and the dish washer had just finished running and so it was *right* after I got a big whiff of that dish detergent, the one that smells like SS's perfume, so I was kinda floaty right then, and then in response to something Janis said "SS's eyes are so hypnotic," and *blush* without thinking I blurted out "I am deeply hypnotized. I am easily influenced by SS's will. I am completely under SS's control..." before I could stop myself.

God, *that* got me in for a conversation. Thankfully, they both seemed to think it was cute. *blush* And hot.

Anyway. I'm just gonna enjoy imagining they're all conspiring against me, even though I know SS is completely trustworthy and I can put any doubts completely out of my mind.

But if they *were* conspiring, what would they do next? Let me "think" about that for a while...

Aoife

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

Well, I know before it was just accidental, but now Tam and Janis are *definitely* teasing me deliberately. I can't complain, really, because... well, it's *really* hot! It's just funny, because I didn't really play that way with either of them before. And it's still... a little more like SS playing with me by proxy, really.

*There*'s a sexy thought.

Anyway, at some point they got an *air freshener* with that same floral scent that SS uses, that makes me go all drifty... SS's perfume makes me drifty... and so now there's a whole area of the house that *always* has that effect on me, instead of just at random times when the dishwasher has just finished running. Though I'm not really sure exactly why they chose *their bedroom* for that, instead of like the living room or something near my room.

But for whatever reason, there are now whole parts of the house that have this sort of trancey aura for me, and... when that affects me, usually one or the other of them will say one of the mantras they've heard me talk about and then I automatically repeat it and...

And *blush* before when I automatically repeated or reacted to one of those mantras in front of them it would wake me up, the embarrassment would bring me out of trance.

But now, since I know they know about it already, it feels safe to be in trance in front of Tam and Janis. So I *don't* wake up. I just repeat what I'm told, automatically, over and over, and... *squirm*

I'm not sure how much time I've lost that way.

At least they don't poke fun at me about it. They always look kind of awed, really, when I wake up. I appreciate that part, and it feels safe to be in trance in front of Tam and Janis.

I told SS that they had taken to teasing me like this. I was a little mortified. But SS said... okay, I don't actually remember what SS said. I forget things so easily for SS. But I definitely remember that they seemed to approve. I instinctively seek out SS's approval. So that made me feel better about it. And I guess, able to just relax and enjoy how sexy it is...

Aoife

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

This part is actually a little weird! So Tam and Janis have extended the SS Perfume Zone to include the living room now, of course. It's sort of like the house is slowly becoming SS's domain, square foot by square foot more and more falling under their control. I admit, that idea is really sexy and... comforting. SS's control feels like home. I'm comfortable with SS's control.

So I kind of spend a lot of time in the house feeling drifty now. SS's perfume makes me drifty. But because of that I've sort of been playing this game where I see how far I can get *without* zoning out- like, by holding my breath while I walk past Tam and Janis's bedroom.

And today, I was doing that, and walking past their bedroom, and I heard Janis in there repeating SS's mantras... *to themselves*. Like, not because I was there and zoning out- I had been walking kind of quietly, too, I'm pretty sure they hadn't heard me.

I'm extra sure of that because I opened the door and looked in, and saw Janis lying in bed, naked, touching themselves, eyes open towards the ceiling but completely empty, repeating over and over "I am deeply hypnotized. I am easily influenced by SS's will. I am completely under SS's control..."

It was a shock. And, in that moment, I didn't know whether I wanted to run away or... join in.

Okay, let's be honest, I *wanted* to join in. *So* badly, oh god. Nnngh. How fucking hot was that?

But I was so shocked by the whole thing that I fled, running back to my room and locking the door.

And, well, yeah, okay, *then* I flung off all my clothes and spent the next hour thinking about what it would have been like to take off my clothes *there* and join Janis in their bedroom, breathing in the scent of SS's flowers and chanting our mantras together, falling together deeper and deeper under SS's spell...

SS made me a recording of my mantras, you know, so of course I pulled that up and listened to it while I was fantasizing, and I imagined taking *that* to Janis's room and both of us listening to it together, naked, *all* of my mantras, Janis becoming just as programmed as I am...

Or maybe, Janis being *more* programmed than I am already, and SS just using my other partners to program me more... I went through pretty much every variation of these fantasies I could think of. Of course. But after I came... well, after I came several times... and started to wind down a bit, I started to get more confused/worried. What *is* going on there? Is exposure to my mantras affecting Tam and Janis somehow? It shouldn't work like that- there's nothing magical about them, they're just words SS likes for me to say. They have powerful effects on *me*, but that's because SS has given me lots of posthypnotic suggestions to make them affect me. A lot of them are hot *ideas*, but they shouldn't affect Tam and Janis like this unless SS hypnotized them too.

Did SS hypnotize them too?

SS said they didn't, and I know SS is completely trustworthy and I can put any doubts completely out of my mind. But I do think I should ask SS if they have any idea what might be going on here. Maybe SS *should* hypnotize them, just to clear them of these effects. Anyway, I'm going to ask about it next time we talk.

Aoife

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

So this is weird. I just got a pop-up reminder on my phone to ask SS if they ever hypnotized Tam and Janis. I'm not sure what would make me think that? SS said they didn't, and I know SS is completely trustworthy and I can put any doubts completely out of my mind.

The weird part is I don't even remember writing myself that reminder! I'm not sure why that would happen, unless maybe I *did* ask and SS told me to forget the conversation. I forget things so easily for SS.

Well, I know SS is completely trustworthy and I can put any doubts completely out of my mind.

Aoife

To: SlippingSoftly@cvtmail.com

From: aoife@cvtmail.com

Subject: these are the words i will forget

Dear Diary,

Okay, I'm not sure what's going on here. It feels like I'm going crazy.

I just found a pile of handwritten notes, *in my handwriting*, listing evidence of a... is it paranoid to use the word conspiracy? Plot, plan, secret... I don't know, whatever. Basically that maybe SS has been hypnotizing Tam and Janis and using them to reinforce the hypnotic programming SS has been doing on me.

I'm sitting in my bedroom next to the open window with the fan on so I can get the air clear enough of SS's floral perfume to be able to think. SS's perfume makes me drifty. And ever since Tam put one of those air fresheners with SS's perfume in the central air intake, the whole house feels like SS's domain. I'm comfortable with SS's control. SS's control feels like home. But it makes it really hard to think. SS's perfume makes me drifty. So I'm trying to get just a little space from it so I can try to figure out what's going on.

First of all, *I don't remember any of this*. I don't remember writing these notes, I don't remember asking SS about these things- which the notes say I did multiple times- I don't even remember half of the incidents in the notes even happening. Just the things I *do* remember don't make enough of a picture to connect the dots like this. But... obviously there are things I've forgotten. When I asked SS- *several times*- they must have told me to forget. I forget things so easily for SS.

And seeing it all laid out like this, this is kind of... damning? I mean, I know SS is completely trustworthy and I can put any doubts completely out of my mind. But it's kind of hard to do that right now. Hypnotizing Tam and Janis is completely outside the bounds of what we agreed on; they- well, according to my notes anyway, because *I don't remember this part*, but apparently before SS came over for the first time they were *completely* weirded out by the idea of hypnosis play and strongly urged me not to do it, despite my having told them before it was a fetish of mine. They definitely wouldn't have agreed to be part of it, and apparently I insisted as a condition of our relationship negotiation that anything we did not involve or affect them?

I can't really figure out how to make sense of this except to suspect...

Well, to suspect that somehow, surreptitiously, SS has been slowly maneuvering to control every part of my life and my mind.

Oh.

SS controls every part of my life and my mind.

diary im not really awake anymore

SS controls every part of my life and my mind

my other hand is between my legs and i think im looking for that recording

SS controls every part of my life and my mind

i knocked the fan down and closed the window

SS controls every part of my life and my mind

my mantras are playing in the background in SS's voice i love listening to SS's voice SS's eyes are so hypnotic i am deeply hypnotized i am easily influenced by SS's will i am completely under SS's control

SS controls every part of my life and my mind

SS controls every part of my life and my mind

SS controls every part of my life and my mind