"Trick or Treat!" Three teen voices in disharmony. Loud, obnoxious, under the impression that they are bold and amusing.
The door opens and there stands an attractive middle aged woman. Some strands of grey in her long dark hair, some wrinkles around the eyes, but still striking. She looks calmy at the "children" in front of her.
"Hello," she says, with an arched eyebrow.
"Yeah, hi, ya got caaaaaandy?" A blonde girl with a pink streak in her hair, bangs hanging in blue eyes, flawless complexion. Pink crop top. Tight magenta jeans. Kewpie-doll mouth.
The other "Trick or Treaters" laugh, as if she has said something really clever.
"Why, yes, dear. I do have candy. I reserve it for children that are dressed in costume. I do not believe that you technically qualify."
"Hey, lady, we ARE in costume!" It is the male. Dark hair, plump cheeks, early start on a beer-belly. Flannel shirt over a black t-shirt, faded jeans.
The eyebrow arches more. Really?
"Yeah, I am Pimp Daddy and these are my Hos - um, Christina Aglawhora and Britney Spearred!"
The blonde's eyes widen and she giggles as the third girl, a brunette wearing a tight red dress, starts playfully slapping Pimp Daddy.
He fends off the attack, laughing. "Don't make me bring my Pimp Hand down on you, Britney!"
The woman watches, her expression appraising. She smiles a little, just the barest hint of an upturn on the mouth.
Blondie, Christina by process of elimination, speaks again. "Can we please have some caaaaaaandy?"
"Dear, wouldn't you feel bad if a child came to the door and I was out of candy because I gave it to you?" She speaks in the lecturing tone of a school teacher but there is a hint of something else just below the surface.
Pimp Daddy says, deepening his voice,"Nah, screeeew them!"
"I am assuming you go to the local college. The giveaway is that you all sound so erudite!"
Three blank stares. The silence is broken when Pimp Daddy belches. The woman winces a little as the beer-breath hits her, but this is her only reaction.
Britney is looking impatient. "So trick or treat, lady!"
The woman appraises again and then laughs, seemingly coming to a decision. "I pick - trick for you, treat for me! I have something very special for all of you. Come on in."
"Why can't you bring it here?" Christina seems to suddenly be playing it cautious. You can almost hear the echoes of maternal warnings reverberating through her head.
"There are some tricks and some treats that are better handled inside. I think Pimp Daddy can adequately protect you."
The woman walks in the house, not waiting to see if she is followed.
Britney says, "Let's just go!"
"Nah, I want to see what she has in mind. Maybe she wants a piece of Pimp Daddy! My dick ain't proud - a hole is a hole!"
He walks in, and Britney starts to follow until Christina grabs her arm. "Hey, wait, don't. Let's just wait. There is something kinda scary about her, the way she looks at people. He'll be out in a second, probably."
"Yeah, okay, whatever. What are you, a girl scout? Going to check the candy for razor blades?"
The blonde giggles at the ribbing. "Yeah, I am a girl scout - wanna see my cookie?"
The brunette cracks a smile and interest flares in her eyes for a second. "Depends on how drunk I get at the party!"
"Oh? You have to be drunk to want my COOKIE?"
The brunette grabs the blonde and plants a playful kiss on her lips. "Not at all ... I am just playing hard to get, and shit!"
The blonde blushes and giggles a little, then calls out, "EVERYBODY wants to see my cookie!"
Various parents and children look over, but nobody approaches.
Christina says, "Hey, weird! We are the only people that are coming to this house."
"Speaking of cumming," puns Britney, "maybe he is getting lucky with the old bat! Where IS he? Screw it, I'm going in."
"No, c'mon, wait one more minute!"
"I have to pee! You can freeze your cookie off on the porch, I am going to use the bathroom!" With that, she strolls into the house, leaving Christina feeling a little silly.