Introduction
There are many myths and stories about Santa Claus and his origins. The most popular is one about a man named saint Nicholas who gave toys to all the children in his village. That story then grew into the myth we all know today with elves and flying reindeer. With that said I am going to tell you the true origins of Santa and his true mission in life.
Origins
It all started in ancient Egypt. The pharaoh at the time was named Nico and he was the most greedy and ruthless ruler that the world had ever seen. Nico's greed knew no limits as he bled the kingdom dry with his useless and excessive taxes. Every day the people brought gifts of gold and fine jewels to please the ruthless pharaoh. Nico's madness extended beyond that when he declared himself above the gods, he made the people worship him as such and this made the real gods very angry.
It was a dark and cold night. Nico had just undressed and was having himself rubbed down with oil to prepare for a night of sex with a few of his harem girls. The girls entered naked all oiled up and the orgy of lust began. As Nico attacked one girl with his royal shaft the others pleased themselves and each other so they would be wet and ready for their master. Even if he was limp they had to somehow climax when he laid with them. If they didn't or if he didn't think he was the one who caused orgasm he would cast the girl out of his harem and into the desert to fend for themselves. Most harem girls who were cast out did not survive this fate.
It was on this night that the gods made their move. While Nico slept, exhausted from the sex, they appeared in his bedroom and woke him with the sound of thunder.
"What's going on!" Nico yelled as he jumped up from his bed.
"Nico," the goddess Hathor said, "your greed and blasphemy has angered us. From this day on you must give each child on Earth a gift once a year. We don't care how you do it or when but on one day a year every child on the planet must have a gift from you."
"When will I be free of this curse," Nico asked in a fit of rage.
"Never!" Hathor continued, "Your sins are so great that all of time is not enough for you to atone for them."
The gods then disappeared and Nico was once again alone. As another part of his punishment from the gods he was stripped of his throne and all record of his reign was destroyed. Well, not all. In early 2008 I was part of an expedition that uncovered the scrolls containing this story. I thought it was a joke for a while but when my life was torn upside down earlier this year I discovered that every word on the scrolls was true. My name is Kevin Matthews and I have witnessed first hand the evil and lust of Santa's Harem.
Fulfilling the curse
There were many challenges for Nico if he was to fulfill the curse to give every child on earth a gift. The gods and goddesses realized this and gave the cursed Pharaoh a two year grace time. After that if he did not fulfill the requirements of the curse they would cast him to the depths of the underworld where he would be tortured for all time.
During the two year period Nico used the remnants of his private fortune to search the world for an answer to his problem. Then when he had lost all hope he happened upon a small settlement in the northern polar region. Nico discovered this settlement to be inhabited by small creatures with mystic power. I know what you're thinking and I will stop you right there, it wasn't elves! The creatures who lived there were vile and dirty little things with green and rough skin. They had pointy ears and large noses. If you were to classify them as anything from our folk lore they could be called mini trolls. The trolls called themselves Vuli and they accepted Nico into their society. After a few months Nico had aggressively moved his way from outsider to their leader. With the Vuli magic now at his disposal he had no trouble fulfilling the curse. On December 24 he used his magic and Vuli minions to deliver a gift to every child on earth. Back then the gifts were nothing more than a tunic or something but as you know the gifts have turned into Barbie and video games since. Nico spent the first 100 years or so of his curse fulfilling his yearly requirements and nothing more but when this became easy and second nature he found that he had a great deal of time on his hands for extra activities. Though the gods did not like his actions they were powerless to stop him as long as every child on the planet got a gift every year.
For that last few thousand years Nico and his Vuli have spent their spare time collecting women from around the globe to fulfill Nico's sexual cravings. He keeps the women for himself for 20 or 30 years and then casts them out of his harem and lets the Vuli have them. He then scans the world for replacement women and on the same day he gives gifts to the children he also places a small gift like a necklace or bracelet under a woman's tree or in her stocking. He uses that gift to take control of the woman and turn her into his willing sexual slave. On Christmas morning of last year my wife received a necklace with no markings on the from part of the tag. My life has never been the same since.
Enslavement and servitude
As I mentioned before, my wife was not the first woman taken by Nico. Many women had fallen prey before. Just two years prior a friend of mine had lost his sister. It was Christmas morning and the two of them were on holiday break from college. As Sarah ran down the stairs she had the enthusiasm of a ten year old. The two of them had purchased gifts for each other in the days before.
"Oh Ben." she said to him. "I wish mom and dad were still around to enjoy things like this."
"Me to," Ben replied as he began sifting through the pile of gifts.
Ben then came across a gift for Sarah with no name on the from side of the tag. "Weird!" he said. "It isn't one that I remember getting but here you go sis." Sarah tore through the scarlet red paper and inside the box she gazed upon a beautiful diamond bracelet.