6: The Podcasters
Well, this was turning out to be a giant waste of my time. Guess I should've expected as much. MikeCon was a fresh, up-and-coming convention for podcasters, and I was a fresh, up-and-coming podcaster. Those two don't mix. The first year, at least, the people who turn up aren't going for the general atmosphere or to explore new talent, they're going exclusively for the one or two big draws that the Con has managed to wrangle. There they were, signing autographs and selling merch about, oh, 200 metres away, at the other end of the convention hall. If I was lucky, and the crowd doubled in size, the queues might stretch far enough back to reach the stall I'd set up. And then... well, hope that they're interested I guess.
Maybe I'd set my expectations too high. In practice, people weren't that enthused by a back-catalogue of a whopping three episodes. And you wouldn't believe, until you saw it, how saturated the market is already with men's health podcasts. Neither I nor James, my sound engineer, had any real expertise to bring to the table, so a lot of the episodes so far were just the two of us regurgitating professional opinions and studies we'd found online.
What we need,
I thought,
is to find our own niche.
James had opted to stay home, with the excuse that he needed to edit the latest episode, so it was just me manning the stall. Seven or eight hours of watching the world go by. The lack of stimulation was killing me. At one point I realised I'd fallen asleep, and woke to the sound of a giggling convention-goer taking my picture. She blushed, caught in the act.
"Saw-ree," she sang, "I didn't mean to disturb you."
"Whatreyoudoing?" I mumbled blearily, shaking my head to clear it.
"Saw-ree," she said again in that vaguely irritating, placating tone, "it's just kinda... convention mood, you know? Can I upload it, please?"
What the hell. If somebody on social media found it funny, that would be as much interaction as I'd got all day. Any publicity is good publicity, or whatever.
"Sure," I shrugged, "but I'd appreciate if you tagged the podcast in it."
"Done!" she chirped, checking my banner. "Thank you sooo much, hope you find some more fans!"
I watched as she flounced away. I had half a mind to persuade her to stay and talk, but it's not like she was in my target demographic anyway. Judging by the large kitchen knife spattered with blood on her t-shirt, I guessed that she was more of a True Crime person.
I wasn't proud of it, but I spent the next few minutes scouring social media on my phone to find that picture. I learned from this experience that, due to things like Movember and other initiatives for men's mental health, a podcast called "Let's Talk Men" was completely un-searchable. Great. Maybe we should just change our name now, while we still had absolutely no brand recognition whatsoever.
There I was, spark out on the desk, and pretty sure I was actually drooling. A decent number of interactions already, but few of them seemed interested in my actual podcast. With the speed at which it was being buried under other pictures showing the vastly more popular personalities, I'd have to be happy with that.
happykylie: Big convention mood. #mikecon #letstalkmen #same
Oh well. Good to know I was cool and relatable due to my... falling asleep in the middle of the day.
Time passed, and I was yawning again in spite of myself, when a voice broke the monotony.
"Let's Talk Men?"
I looked up, and was greeted by a stunningly beautiful woman with caramel brown hair and a long, flowing red dress.
I straightened up immediately. "Er, yeah, that's me!" I babbled. "That's my podcast. What can I do for you?"
"Well, what kind of things
do
you talk about regarding men?" she asked.
Huh. This woman was a prospective listener? I wasn't complaining, but she didn't seem like the type we would normally attract. Oh, who was I kidding, we didn't even have an audience yet, much less a type.
"Oh, well," I replied bashfully, "we've only done three episodes so far, but the general plan is to talk about all kinds of stuff, really."
"I see," she mused, "perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Dr. Stephanie Thorpe, and I offer therapy and counselling services for all kinds of issues, but my speciality area is male psychosexuality."
Male psychosexuality? Hmmmm. It was a bit risquΓ©, but it was unique, at least. Maybe this convention was salvageable after all.
"That sounds like an interesting topic," I said. "We haven't really done an episode on that so far, we're really just, you know, finding our groove."
"Oh it is,
very
interesting!" Dr. Thorpe grinned, her eyes twinkling. "But I need somewhere to get all of my ideas out there. Other than an academic paper, I mean. What's the point in publishing research the public knows nothing about?"
"Absolutely!" I agreed hastily. Was this going where I thought it was?
"So I'm thinking," she said, giving my booth a once-over with her eyes, "if you're just starting out, you need some kind of draw, to establish your initial brand, something that sets you apart from everyone else."
"Yep, no, that's very true," I admitted. "And having an actual doctor of psychology on the show would give us some serious cred. If you, uh, wanted to, that is."
"You keep saying 'we' and 'us'." she said, raising an eyebrow. "Is there someone else?"
"Oh, me and my sound guy, James," I said. "He... couldn't make it to the Con today."
"Ahh, I see," she nodded. "Yes, I think I would definitely like to come on your podcast, bounce some of my ideas off you. Where do you record?"
Say what you will about our podcast, with its 15 cumulative views so far, but we weren't just two guys broadcasting out of a bedroom. "There's a recording studio in the CBD," I replied. "We record there on Fridays, so we can have the weekend to edit and publish on Monday."
"Friday works very well!" she beamed.
"Fantastic!" I said, offering my hand for her to shake. "I'm Chris, by the way."
She shook my hand firmly. "A pleasure to meet you, Chris."
We exchanged contact details, and made a time to meet up beforehand. As she left, I texted James.
Dude, I think we're actually going to have an audience now!
**********
I was giddy with excitement when Friday rolled around. The fourth episode had gone live in the meantime, to an expectedly flat reception (19 cumulative views, woo). This would hopefully be a completely different beast. It had occurred to me that this Dr. Stephanie Thorpe might be too good to be true, but I had looked her up, and she was exactly who she said she was. 26 years old, a Ph.D thesis on male psychosexuality, a practice she operated out of, widely liked by her patients and respected by a good number of her academic peers. It all just made me even more eager to hear what she was all about.
I had arranged to come in slightly earlier than James, who had a tight schedule to keep in any case, so that I could show Dr. Thorpe around the studio. When I got to the entrance of the building, I was surprised to find that she wasn't alone.
"Hello, Chris!" she greeted me. "This is Lucy. She's a sort of protegΓ© of mine. I hope you don't mind, but I thought she'd enjoy the opportunity to listen in. Lucy, this is Chris."
"How do you do!" said Lucy, shaking my hand enthusiastically, trying not to let the small handbag slung over her shoulder get in the way. She was slightly shorter than Dr. Thorpe, and her brown hair was darker, in a bob cut that just about reached her neck.
"An extra audience member?" I raised an eyebrow in what I hoped was a friendly manner.
"Sorry, I kinda talked her into it," Lucy gushed, a star-struck pupil if ever I saw one. "I never miss one of Dr. Stephanie's lectures! I'll be quiet and keep to myself, I promise."
"Sure," I laughed, "we'll take all the audience we can get!"
I led them inside. Dr. Thorpe seemed suitably wowed, which I was grateful for. A good first impression now would hopefully keep her coming back in the future.
"I hope you're not spending too much on renting a room here," she commented, "since you're still finding your feet."
"Ah, yeah," I replied, "my dad's kinda... loaded. When I told him I was serious about starting a podcast, he bought me a year's worth of renting a recording studio, one session a week. After that, he said, I'd have to fund it myself, so hopefully I turn a profit by then!"
"And
do