"Wh... where am I?"
I was awake in a flash, darting to kneel beside the sofa. Joanna was looking around in confusion, eyes squinting despite the single candle lighting in the room. She must have hit her head harder than I'd feared.
"I'm here, Jo. It's me. You're OK," I assured her. I took her hand and squeezed it firmly.
"What happened? One minute I was in the pool, and the next, I... I don't remember." She frowned.
Oh thank goodness. Sitting here all evening with nothing to do but fret, I'd had all sorts of scary scenarios cooked up. Her not remembering was decidedly for the best. "You took a drink, and then fainted on the spot. Knox and I caught you, but you're only now waking up. It's..." I glanced at my phone. "It's going on two in the morning."
"I fainted, and you brought me inside to lay on the couch? For what, like, six hours?"
"That's right, hon. I'd have stayed by your side all night if I had to."
She fought to sit up, but gave up halfway, groaning. "Why the fuck didn't you two take me to a hospital? Christ almighty, Rach, I could have been brain dead for all you knew."
I laughed. That was my Joanna, surly as ever. "Yeah, I guess I should've, huh. But hey, your health insurance will thank me for it later on down the line."
"Assuming I still have two brain cells to rub together. Damn, my head is pounding. You got any tylenol? I'd ask for something to wash it down with, but since the last drink you made me nearly killed me, I think I'll just chew and swallow."
I hurried to comply, bringing her a glass of water anyway. She downed it greedily, and I quickly brought a refill. She was sitting upright by then, which I took as a good sign, and I took a spot next to her. I know it was paranoid on my part, but I was tensed and ready to leap into action in case she fainted on me again.
Joanna eyed me with open judgment. "Are you really still wearing your bikini? You laid me up all evening and didn't even bother to get dressed?"
"You're still wearing yours," I pointed out, gesturing to the huge half-revealed boobs, pale skin practically glowing in the dark where it spilled out of her suit. She didn't laugh. "Kidding, Jo. Relax. I dunno, I guess I've gotten used to keeping it casual. If it bothers you, I can-"
"No, whatever. You keep it warm as hell in here. But hey, yeah, speaking of. I guess I fainted before we had a chance for me to ask you what the fuck gives with that creep Knox."
Creep? What on earth could she be talking about?
"Oh yeah! I didn't even know how much of a chance to talk you guys had gotten. Did it not go well?"
"Of course it didn't go well. Come on, Rach. I'd been holding out hope he was at least really good-looking but maybe too old, or rich and classy but not cute enough to date. Maybe even just really,
really
funny. But that guy? He's a million miles below our league. Why the hell are you treating this bum like he's the best thing since... well, me?"
"Well, so much for playing matchmaker," I sighed.
She spat out a mouthful of water all over the living room floor. "Match...?! Rachel, I said I'd
meet
him. You seriously thought there was a slab of bacon's chance in fat camp I'd give
that
guy the time of day? Fuck, I know Ian isn't the best I've ever landed, but you really thought my standards had just up and died?"
"No, but..."
"But what? God damn, baby girl, what is going on with you? I mean seriously, does this guy have you under some kind of spell or something?"
For a moment, I actually stopped and wondered. I know she was only using an expression, but... Knox was an actual warlock, and he did have an actual love potion recipe thoroughly marked up in his library. Could he have...?
But then reality caught up with me, and I almost laughed at the absurdity of it. If he'd used a love potion on me, then I'd
love
him. Who would go to all the trouble of brewing a potion to turn their neighbor into their bestest friend? If all he was after was making me his love slave, what the heck good would that do him? I made a mental note to tell him about it tomorrow - he'd get a kick out of that. Once he was done fucking my butt, that is; he'd texted me earlier to tell me to make sure I was lubed and ready when he got here in the morning.
"Joanna, it's really nothing weird. We met at this neighborhood picnic thing I went to with Jim earlier this year, and we just hit it off. His looks, his money, none of that has anything to do with anything - and it's honestly a little hurtful of you to suggest it might."
She didn't look chastened by my rebuke. "OK, so what is it then? What is it about this guy that makes you so fucking eager to let him dress you up like some teenie bopper whore? Why do you let this totally unremarkable pig come into your house and use you-"
Joanna was ready to go on; I knew how she got when she was in a judging mood. But she had crossed a line, and I was not having it. "You know what? I don't have to justify myself and my choices to you, or anyone. I
like
Knox. As a
friend
. Nothing more. And if we're not the boring cookie cutter buds you want us to be, that's not my fault or my problem! But I'll be darned if I'm going to sit here and listen to you call him names and run him down when you don't even know him!"
She gaped. "Rachel, what the fuck are you-"