"You said you put 'single,' back where it was asking for your personal details, right?"
Aoife hesitated, trying to puzzle out the direction he was about to take things. "Yeah? Why?" If there was one thing she hated talking about with him it was relationship statuses, sure in her own knowledge that her interest wasn't going to be reciprocated, and that any conversation was just going to shine a spotlight on unwanted feelings.
"I dunno. I can't shake that I'm missing the point of all this and why it's called a 'Compatibility Survey.' Like, compatible with what?"
Mentally, Aoife cursed at him and the unease that had suddenly appeared. Why did he always have to be an asshole and make so much sense? They weren't being given a huge choice on cooperating with things, so why couldn't he have left the weirdness feeling fun rather than uncomfortable? Her frustration built, and she tried to convince herself that she wasn't feeling over-exposed. "You're over thinking things. Like you said, it's probably just some shady research project Palisade are getting kickbacks for being involved with."
The suspicion still felt the most plausible, the only reason she could think of for any of this was some social sciences bullshit with them as the guinea pigs, and her opinion of Palisade certainly wasn't high enough not to put it past them.
"Yeah but-"
He started again, but she cut him off. "Besides, if you're not single, then who would you put down?"
Instantly, Aoife regretted the question. Was there someone he wanted to put there? There was a pause that went on just slightly too long, and she filled it with her anxiety, waiting to hear how he must have been messaging with the woman from the government, Evie. Or that there was someone back home he had feelings for. Not that she could blame him if it was the former, she'd go weak at the knees for someone like that too. Evie was everything Aoife thought she wasn't, and it was just a matter of hearing Ethan say her name.
Eventually Ethan frowned. "...yeah, you're right, never mind. I am overthinking this."
It went quiet, the song the only sound still coming through her headphones, the energy of the synth beats suddenly feeling off kilter as it built to the belated drop Ethan had complained about.
'Will you meet me more than halfway up?'
She could just be honest and say how she felt. But that was another sort of honesty Aoife wasn't made for. Instead, she simply fought the urge to sulk, and skipped forward to the next track.
*****
26th October 2020
Aoife woke to find Hayley watching her, the other woman back in position in the hallway outside the bedroom door. It was light now at least, meaning the jump scare she got came less hard than it would have done otherwise, but not so soft that it didn't cause the green haired engineer to swear loudly in surprise.
She had been allowed to sleep, fitfully, eventually, with the door being locked when neither Anas nor his sister-in-law had been able to stay up to watch her any longer. She'd been far too cold, with the renovations of the house not yet extending to the central heating in the back bedroom, leaving her breath clouding the air even as she pulled the blankets she'd been given around her. But that wasn't the main reason she'd slept like shit. Nor was the fact she couldn't leave to use the bathroom like she needed. Rather the weird mixture of fear, sadness and guilt was more than enough to keep her from settling and she'd instead ended up getting up several times in the night to test the window, despite knowing that the recently reglazed glass wasn't suddenly going to yield to her efforts any more than it had done previously. But that wasn't the point. She just needed a way to try and shift the feelings that sat tangibly on her chest; like some b-movie monster, looming in the dark.
As she stirred, Hayley didn't move. The previous day, the blonde woman had mostly stood outside the room, arms folded, but now she was sitting on the exposed floorboards, back leant against the hallway's wallpaper. She looked terrible, her breathing shallow and laboured, a faint sheen of perspiration visible on sallow skin, but that's not what Aoife noticed about her first. Instead, it was the look on her face, and how intense her eyes were, even with the obvious fatigue they were struggling against.
Aoife had never seen anyone look as angry at the world as Hayley did, cold and quiet as iron. Hard enough that you could forge an edge into it.
For once, finding some snarky comment to snap back with didn't come easy to Aoife and she stumbled, half awake, over her own discomfort. The last thing she wanted to do was pity the bitch who'd dragged her out here. But it was almost impossible not to, even if it sat alongside her own fear and resentment, and she heard herself simply mumbling with what little derision she could muster.
"Morning."
The scarf was back, wrapped around Hayley's face, and there was no acknowledgement of Aoife's 'greeting' as the blonde coughed into the faded wool. The attempt to clear her chest was weak however, little more than a wheeze that rasped and rattled through what energy she seemed to have. It took her several seconds more before she recovered enough to be able to speak.
"I shouldn't have let Anas take charge of asking you questions...waste of damned time..."
That felt hard to argue with. They both knew Hayley only had so much of it left. One of them knew it from the broadcast she'd seen at Taymont, and the other from painful personal experience she barely had a name or context for. Just the understanding that what she'd watched happen to her husband was happening to her too. It was one of the things that Aoife had laid there with overnight, trying to remember just how long the footage had implied Hayley would have left if she had DuoHalo. Hours? A day or two at most? She'd never seen anyone actually die. The idea of being there for it terrified her. And she hated that that was the weird, selfish little issue that she kept going back to, the thought demanding she keep vividly picking at it.
"Yeah, well," she replied, "who says you'd have done any better?"
Hayley picked up on the resentment that was still obvious in Aoife's voice, and responded flatly. "You want me to give you an apology for bringing you here?"
Continuing to rouse fully, Aoife shifted to sit up. She was still dressed in her clothes from the day before, having slept in everything but her coat to keep away the chill, but everything felt grubby and unpleasant now. Her stomach growled, and she realised someone had left a banana for her next to the bed, but she wasn't exactly in the mood to eat either.
"Well it's not like I'm going to get one, is it?"
Hayley gave as much of a shake of her head as her energy allowed. "I don't want to be doing this to you. But I'm not going to just go quietly. I promised my husband I'd do whatever I could to keep Layla safe." Layla. At least Aoife finally had a name to put to the hungry crying that kept coming from elsewhere in the house, even if knowing it just made things harder. "And I'm going to rage against whatever this is. Until I can't anymore. Because if it's her or you? I pick her every time."
Aoife couldn't work out how much Hayley was trying to reiterate that to herself. It hadn't escaped her notice that, from the moment they'd arrived, Hayley had refused to step into the same room as her and had done her best to keep using her scarf as some feeble substitute for a mask. At least some part of the other woman's conscience felt the need to tell herself that she was doing what she could to minimise any harm she was causing. But then that obviously only went so far. And even as the rest of her words faltered the conviction in the blonde woman's voice for that final statement was unmistakable.
Not that it really mattered at this point. Aoife had seen on the report just how transmissible DuoHalo was and she knew any damage had already been done. She'd had enough time the night before to reason out that she was almost certainly infected now too, no matter what value Hayley put on it. And no matter how well she felt or how abstract the idea remained, sitting just out of reach of what she could bring herself to grasp at. She just worried about how and when the thought of it would come crashing down into her.
It was real enough for her to remain bitter at Hayley, however, and she tried to force herself to be dismissive. "Yeah, save the speeches. You sound like a shitty super villain."
Hayley made a face, and left Aoife feeling guiltier than she expected. She hated that. She wanted to stay angry, not feel ashamed. It's not like she asked for any of this to happen to the other woman, so why was she being made to feel responsible?