Doctor Marcia Harden looked down at the thin sheet of transparent plastic slowly extruding itself out of the machine--the machine she'd built, to her own specifications, after months of painstaking and secret labor. It was all worth it, she decided. Every second of working and reworking complex chemical formulas, every minute of crafting precision-tooled parts, every late night of concealing the existence of the entire experiment from her assistant Colleen. It was all worth it, and the proof was right here--it worked! It actually worked! And to think, they'd called her "mad"!
They, of course, were the tiny invisible pixies with the faces of Ben Franklin and Isaac Asimov, the ones only she could see. Even now, they continued to call her "mad", mocking her with their objections, their so-called flaws in her brilliant scheme. But now, she had the answers for all of them.
"It'll never work," Franklin said. For some reason, he always had the voice of Marilyn Monroe, but she'd gotten used to that by now. "The chemical can induce a suggestible state, Marcia, but you know it breaks down too quickly in contact with oxygen. How long do you have to introduce it into the victim's bloodstream? A minute? Less?"
"She could always put it into an airtight cannister, spray her victim with it," Asimov replied. She'd always liked Asimov better, even if he did have a tendency to sprout tentacles with lion heads when he thought she wasn't looking. "It's a mind control drug, it won't matter if the victim knows they're being dosed. Marcia can just command them to forget later."
"The required dose is too large!" Franklin shrieked, a chorus of invisible laughter following his every word. "She can't avoid inhaling it herself! How do you just casually wander up to your potential lesbian sex slave while wearing a full bio-hazard respirator, huh? How do you hold them down for the five minutes necessary to spray a full dose into their nostrils?"
The lion heads snarled at Franklin while Asimov responded. Marcia waited patiently. She'd heard them argue like this countless times; she knew exactly where they were heading with it, and she was waiting to interrupt with her masterstroke. "Then perhaps an injector? Find some way of putting it into liquid form, and--"
"Liquid form? Liquid form?" Franklin snorted. "The chemical doesn't liquify until it hits -175 degrees Celsius. Inject that into your sex slave, they'll die long before they can frig you to orgasm."
"Maybe you're right," Asimov said, his tentacles drooping in sorrow. "Maybe there's just no way to make practical use of her discovery. She'd have to be quite, quite mad to keep trying."
"Oh, very mad," Franklin said. "Very very very mad."
Marcia knew where the conversation was headed next. They were going to keep repeating "mad", over and over, while swooping around her head until she got dizzy. Then they'd sing show tunes. But this time, she had the answer. This time, they'd have to admit she was sane. "Mad, am I?" she snapped out. "Could a madwoman have done this?" She pointed to the machine.
The pixies looked at each other. "What is it, then?" Franklin asked cautiously.