Nyxed

How many fucking drinks deep am I now? I can barely feel my fingers, so damn numb it seems a joke. Nothing another pint can't fix! I'm no fancy lady, I've been drinking beer since I came of age and a good bit before, too. At least nobody called me a lesbian to my face, though I could hardly care less. Men are frustrating but women can be straight up vicious, I don't think I'd be well equipped on either side of the fence. With dulled senses and even worse impulse control, I drag myself up to the bar and wonder if this unsympathetic shithead serving drinks will have the gall to cut me off for being 'too drunk' like it's any of his business. Can't he see I've been crying?

"I'll get her last one, barkeep." Rings a smug voice to my right as sweet scent wafts in accompaniment. I'm not one to refuse a freebie in this state but who does this bitch think she is saying 'last' instead of 'next', huh? My head turns sluggishly to greet her with an ugly expression between grin and scowl. Her own soft smile seems unwavering as she hops up onto the stool and digs through her purse, long and fair hair smelling strongly of strawberries, or at least my inebriated head tells me so. Dulled senses and perception, yet this girl is too radiant to go unnoticed by all of them. The woman notices me staring at her and curls her lip tightly, eyeing me up without making any effort to hide it. "Last one here, anyway, my apartment is nearby."

That's a little forward isn't it? I expect this sort of play from a guy as deep in the drink as I am but... well, she's not like any lesbians I've met but I'm definitely being hit on aren't I? Here I thought she was trying to be some annoying good samaritan, I had it all wrong, she's just after my body. What the hell, it's nice to feel wanted after getting dumped for being 'too emotional', whatever the hell that means.

After raking in another round, I begin spilling out all these embarrassing stories even while I'm barely able to keep my head up. As I begin to sob and tell this stranger about the break up, she suddenly cradles my head and pulls it against her chest. All I can remember her saying is "There, there." over and over again. I've never felt so safe in my entire life.

"Do

you

think you're too emotional, Lori?" She asks me in a lilting tone, playfully holding her finger up to my lip and letting me taste my raw emotion from those crude tears she's scooped up. Salty and gross. I'm clearly a mess, I don't even remember telling her my name.

"I... I don't know. Maybe." I push my face deeper into that warmth, letting myself get lost in her as the bell rings for last orders. "Y-you mentioned something about an apartment?" I squeak out pathetically when the bar begins to empty out, distantly wondering what an angelic lady like this is doing in such a rough and tumble establishment to begin with. It's not like I want to give this woman the wrong impression, but I'm just not ready for her comforts to come to a close yet. It's scary to think of going home by myself right now, without someone to pet my hair and say "There, there."

"How did you get here, Lori, or do you live nearby too?" The woman whose name I still don't know, a name I'm not sure I even need to learn, stands up and guides me onto my feet. I'm so drunk it's humiliating, the woman offering her arm for me to lean on like taking care of me is the most natural thing in the world to her. I take it gladly, just happy to have some company, drinking alone is the epitome of rock bottom after all.

"Oh shit... uhm... ahaha, I drove here." I was such a wreck and didn't want to go to anywhere I went with Nick, sort of forgot about the whole driving under the influence snag.

The stranger hums and tilts her head, her smile almost predatory though I'm too intoxicated to pick up on it. That, or I choose to ignore it in the back of my mind. "Very silly of you, Lori, I see you're one to act on your emotions a lot, then?"

Just ask Nick. I don't want to talk about this with her, or anyone. I don't want to think about it at all, are my feelings such a burden? Well in this case I'll concede that they are, I can be a little hot headed. "Just... can you drive me? Somewhere... anywhere... o-okay?"

"I don't have a car, so that'd be a little difficult. Suppose I'd have to steal one, hehe, but I think I'd rather just take you home with me. It's a spacious studio apartment, you're lucky I won't charge you for an overnight stay." She helps me walk and I lean onto her, not sure what would happen if she suddenly left my side. Where did this angel come from, should I be suspicious of this good fortune? Nah, good people exist and... I think she's one of them, that strawberry scent just tells me to trust her I guess. "I'm doing you a huge favour Lori, so what do you say?"

"Oh... thank you." It's like all my frustration fizzled out the moment we stepped outside, now I'm meeker than ever, just wanting to rest my head onto pillow and forget about this embarrassing night entirely. It'll take longer to forget about the piece of shit boyfriend, but I'll be okay. Baby steps, right? Just like the ones I'm taking now, the stranger's hand clasped in mine and her angelic voice letting me know I've finally done something right.

"Good girl."

By the time we reach the woman's apartment I've sobered some, ascending each step with more ease and even beginning to blush when I consider that she had initially been inviting me here as some kind of proposition. Isn't it taking advantage to hit on the most wasted person at the bar? What do I care, it's not like I swing that way so she'd be in for a dull night if she was expecting some action. I could at least show my gratitude with money if I hadn't blown it all at the bar, I'm now realising just how pathetically dependent I am... was... on Nick. Being looked after feels good, is it so wrong to want to be pampered? There are people out there, like this woman here, who actually seem to enjoy spoiling people... so it's probably fine to be the opposite too, right?

"What are you thinking about, love?" The woman locks the door behind her and slides the chain across for good measure, hanging up her long coat to reveal a fitted blouse buttoned up to the collar and tucked into high waisted pinstripe slacks. Did she come straight from work? No, it's surely too late for that. When I don't respond, she cups my cheek with a hand I register as colder than I'd anticipated. She felt so warm before. "Let's get you some water."

I follow her into the kitchen after shrugging out of my cropped denim jacket and stand in the middle of the tiled floor in just a tank top and jeans, realising how damn parched I am. The woman unbuttons the top few on her blouse and pours me a glass of water, her figure seeming so strong in the face of my drunken slouch. A few blinks later and I'm smelling strawberry again, one arm around me with the hand supporting the back of my neck, the other pressing ice cold glass to my bottom lip and instructing me to drink. I gulp down half of the glass before pulling away, the stranger pushing me back firmly with a stern look in her eyes even while her lips remain disarming in their curl. "All of it, dear."

Feeling embarrassed, I do as I'm told and finish the glass. Wondering if she's going to call me a g--

"Good girl." Again.

My face is red hot, from the beer, and so I drop myself onto the couch with an awkward grin and work at removing the boots I should have taken off at the door. "Am I sleeping on this tonight?" I ask, not sure what to say in this awkward situation I've found myself in. "Sorry to impose..." I add timidly, hoping this lets her know I'm not curious about the bedroom. Not one bit.

The woman just laughs, kicking her own high heeled shoes off and stepping over to the couch like she owns the place... oh wait. "In a manner of speaking, yes." She brings herself up to the back of the couch and snakes her arms around me, forcing me to sit up straight and stiffen up against the overly familiar touch. I'm engulfed by her from behind, that delicate strawberry hair draping over me and her lips brushing the top of my head. "We're waiting for the sedative you just knocked back to take effect, then we're going to move somewhere more comfortable." She states so matter-of-factly that I almost let the words pass me by before playing them through my head a second time.

"W-Wait, what?" I squirm a little, but all the strength in my body seems to have drained away after drinking that water. Did it taste funny? I can't even tell in this state. All I can do is let out a nervous laugh as the woman's arms tighten around me from behind until it begins to hurt, her teeth sinking into the top of my ear and making me gasp.

"Mmh... you're so fussy, all these unnecessary reactions of yours. It's amusing but messy, your emotions are a vice." The woman speaks so coldly now, confusing me more than I could hope to convey with words that fail me more and more often when she toys with me like this. "Go to sleep now, my good girl, it'll all be over soon."

"Are... ahh... are you going to kill me?" Of course I'm terrified of her being a serial killer, it's all I can think about. At least she managed to take my mind off the breakup after all, right? Maybe this is just roleplay! Still fucked but ah... I don't want to think...

"Heavens no, waste a pretty girl like yourself? No, sweetie, I'm going to perfect you."

My vision begins to wane and in the last few seconds of consciousness I spot another figure entering the room with a small duffel bag in their hands, speaking in monotone. "Everything's ready, Madame Nyx."

My eyes flicker open to the sight of a plush red ceiling, the walls appearing the same as I slowly realise I'm laying on a bed. The sheets are silky and red, my hands and ankles bound to bedposts by red ribbons tight enough to leave marks if I struggle too much. I've been undressed, leaving no room for doubt in my mind that this is in fact a sex thing. I should have known, but who was the other girl? Ah!

"She's awake, Madame Nyx." The monotone girl is standing over the bed staring at me, dressed in black latex bodysuit with a deep V and long boots to match. Definitely a fetish thing, but I never signed up for it so why am I now in the centre of it all? The room is like a padded cell, fitting given how insane this Nyx lady apparently is.

"Oh, perfect." Nyx climbs up onto the bed and then drops her weight onto my midriff, the mattress rocking before settling back to stillness. Eyes void of any empathy peer down at me, her confidence suffocating. "Do you see this, Lori?" She leans forwards and drags finger over one of the ribbons binding me tightly before producing another one and tying it around my neck and pulling it taut. I try not to react too much to the light choking, but when she pulls harder and tears form in my eyes I begin to wonder why I have yet to shout out or say anything.

I must be too scared.

The grip loosens and Nyx collects my tears as she had in the bar, feeding them to me with her index finger digging all the way into the back of my mouth. As the woman sadistically tests my gag reflex, I consider biting down as hard as I can but once again do nothing but remain still. My eyes are open wide, body trembling beneath her. "They taste different don't they? The ones from before came from deep emotional baggage, pain inflicted upon you by sorrow, but these ones are simply functional. You can't help but tear up when you're choked like that, it's natural. Crying over some man who told you how it is only goes to prove his point, right? It's a flaw, Lori, and I want to help you." That angelic face from the bar returns, Nyx smiling softly while gripping my face in one hand, tilting my head like I'm just a doll.

"I... I don't know about th-this." I stammer out weakly, sounding distorted with my face being squeezed by those sharp-nailed fingers. This

is

just a sex thing, right? "I'm not into women..."

"So what? Another flaw. I don't care what you're into Lori, this pickiness of yours is going to be a thing of the past. It'll be freeing to not restrict yourself over all these mundane trivialities, you'll see! You'll just agree to everything with the same blank face, like my Mia back there." The woman rubs my breast in her hand and I writhe beneath her, a shiver running down my spine. I turn to look over at 'Mia' and take stock of just how unbothered she appears. Is that liberating, to not care about anything in this wretched world? No, it's inhuman.

This woman wants to make me like her? Less than human? Even if it's just roleplay, I--

"Someone's stuck in their thoughts again, hm~?" Nyx removes her hand and strokes my hair, I find myself leaning into the touch despite everything. "There, there."

I calm myself down against the touch and then pull against the restraints again, causing the woman to click her tongue in dissatisfaction. "This is an unbreakable bond, silly girl. Have you never heard of the red string of fate?" Nyx tugs at the ribbon around my neck playfully, tying the other end around her own neck like she's tethering us together. "Don't you believe in that sort of thing, destiny? A dreamer such as yourself probably fills her diary with such trite writings, I'd wager. Or maybe social media anyway. As always I'll oblige you, I'll be your destiny. I'm doing you another favour so--"

"Th-Thank you." I blurt out, wondering if I can get away with asking for another favour here like the greedy girl I am. "Uhm... could you let me go?"

"You're only asking me to do that because you're scared. Don't you remember our conversation in the bar? You told me in great detail just how burdened you felt by all these buzzing feelings of yours, I asked if you wanted me to take them away and you said gladly. You hugged me tight and practically plead me to do so, do you not remember?"

"I-I... I'm not..."

"You don't need to remember, I'll take good care of you Lori. I'll dress you up like you're my favourite doll, I'll take you out when it's sunny and I'll cook my favourite meals for you. You'll stay well in shape and you'll never experience heartbreak again. No more melancholy, only me. Do you understand?" Nyx pulls up until the red ribbon has me lurching up too, seeing just how serious she's being and becoming frozen in her aura. What is she even suggesting here?

"I wouldn't..."

"You wouldn't care. Loneliness and boredom would be lost to you, Your highs only come before the lowest of lows, Lori. You're not cut out to be human, nobody drinking themselves into a coma at 11PM is. Maybe you'd have decided to drive home if I hadn't caught you, maybe you'd have slipped up and met head on collision with a vehicle full of lives worth a lot more than your own. I'm not just doing this for your sake, Lori, I'm doing what's best for everyone. Your boyfriend was right, Lori, but he missed out on what a good girl you can be made into. Sculpted from this lump of depressive clay beneath me, I just need the right chisel..."

Nyx holds out her hand and her assistant, Mia, obediently places something resembling an ice pick into the woman's hand. "This is called and orbitoclast, Lori, a scary name for something rather simple. This big ol' needle is how I'm going to fix you, it's used for transorbital lobotomies, meaning I'll go right here where the skull is nice and weak. The woman strokes the cold metal directly above my eye and I tense up. She's seriously planning to lobotomise me? That's terrifying.

"If you want proof of how effective this procedure is, look no further than my Mia here. Isn't she just perfect?" Nyx gestures to her emotionless assistant as the woman returns with a strangely shaped hammer, looking me over indifferently. "You can trust me to do it right, I've been practicing for many years, it's all in the touch hehe. I won't make you incontinent or unresponsive, just like Mia you'll be very responsive in the ways that count. Just not so... reactive. Volatility is a good way to burn out quickly, it isn't needed, I'm going to strip you down. Dismantle you. Make your mind a blank slate to build upon better... more cleanly. You understand don't you?"

"I..."

"You told me you want to die. Do you really not remember? We were chatting for almost an hour, you really can't control your impulses very well spilling all that to a stranger. I'm so glad you did, though, I'm probably the only person in the world who knows how to save you from those feelings permanently. If you're going to act on your impulses one day soon anyway, throw yourself off some high bridge like it means anything to anyone, why not let me take your hand and remove all that silliness, hm~?" Nyx shifts her weight on top of me and all I can think about is how good she smells even now. What the hell is wrong with me?

"I was just... drunk." My lip quivers, watching the orbi-whatever hover over me like an angel of death.

"Another mistake driven by intense emotions I'm willing to free you from. Don't worry, silly girl, you'll be conscious the entire time. You'll be able to look up at me smiling softly and know that you're in safe hands. Feel me rooting around in that toxic head of yours with my instrument, a benevolent tool severing the nasty connections that threaten a productive future." Is that supposed to comfort me? I'll be awake the whole time, feel her violate my brain matter like it's fucking play putty. Fuck, I need to calm down or I'll only egg her on further. I don't think she needs any more convincing though.

"You're fucking crazy..." I mutter distantly, wondering if I'm already in shock to speak so calmly.

Nyx giggles and leans down to drag her tongue across my cheek and savour that salty flavour one final time, her eyes still one of a loving mother despite her actions. I'm right, then, she's insane to think she's doing me a favour. Will I thank her when it's over? She could probably make me... could she make me do anything she wanted?

"I'm going to start now, so please hold still or you'll risk unwanted damage. Mia, please secure her." The assistant steps closer and holds me steady, allowing me a closer look at the supposedly lobotomised girl. She's wearing a slight smile of her own, a dullness in her eyes but a beauty that cannot be ignored either. She really is like a doll, the only blemishes I see are closer to my head where she holds me down. Scars down her wrists, not going in the typical direction I'm used to seeing... maybe Nyx really did save this girl in a way, is that what she's doing with me? She seems to think so, at least.

The object resembling an ice pick draws near and fills my vision, becoming blurry as it gets too close to properly look at. I feel the cold tip against my eye and wince, fingers curling into the silken sheets as tight as they can. "I need to reach the back of the socket so I can push through into the prefrontal cortex. It won't cause any permanent damage... not to your eye, I mean. Surgical destruction is a key part of most procedures and parts of a human are also removed in many of them. I won't be taking out any pieces of your brain, Lori, just severing a few unnecessary nerves."

"It doesn't hurt as much as you'd think, and only really at the beginning." Mia whispers, reassuring me some. I try to search her eye for a scar but can't seem to find it, finding relief in trivial matters such as these rather than what's actually important here.

I have no choice but to stay still, even an idiot like me who knows nothing about brain surgery can tell that struggling here could mess me up even worse. Nyx lines up the instruments and begins to hammer the pick into my skull, the back of the socket really is so weak, I was expecting something more violent. I stare dead ahead and don't know what to make of her flush expression staring down at me, Nyx chewing her lip seductively while she gently brings the hammer down onto the orbitoclast's other end and pushes into my brain. My head is angled up by Mia's hold so that she can get the right angle with the instrument, giving a new meaning to that word when she suddenly taps the handle's side with the hammer and gently lets go of the pick. My vision is so blurry, my thoughts a complete fucking scramble, as the orbitoclast's metal ring reverberates against me like a tuning fork. It feels so strange, such a violation, yet there's a tingle to it I find myself distracted by at the same time. The woman hammers it in a little further and then does it again, the vibration making me dizzy for her own private amusement. Each sonorous ring feels like it's resonating with my soul, starting to reshape it.