Chapter 4: fuck[ing] the police
Police trooper Lisa Harris rubbed her eyes again as she shifted in the seat of her police cruiser. It might be 2 in the morning, but she wasn't that sleepy: Her entire life cycle had adjusted to the needs of the night shift. It couldn't have been any drug induced hallucination: coffee and energy drinks don't do that... as far as she knows. Well if they were then police would definitely be banned from consuming them on the job, or something.
So then why is there a naked woman openly urinating on the sidewalk, seemingly without a care in the world? Heck, she wasn't even squatting, which would have at least allowed for a lower silhouette. Rather, she was standing by the curb, strutting her hips out, almost as if she's flaunting her act to the world.
With a sigh Lisa unhooked her seatbelt, opened the door, and stepped out, making sure to slam the door shut with a suitable loud noise. Not that loud of course, that's not a good thing to do at a time when most are asleep, but loud enough to make her presence known. A small part of her mind hoped that the sudden noise would alert the other woman to her presence, and run away or something. She really doesn't want to make an arrest, especially for a nonviolent victimless one. It's a lot of stupid paperwork even when everything goes smoothly.
The lewd woman paid no attention to her, as if lost in her own little world. That's not a big deal, because she's about to receive a rude awakening. As she closed in the distance Lisa took out a pair of handcuffs, and in a series of fluid motions grabbed the other woman's hands, put them behind her back, and slapped the handcuffs on them.
"Do not resist, anything you say will be used against you in a-" Lisa began spewing the standard speech before being cut off by a chuckle from the other lady, who doesn't seem to be bothered at all by her predicament. She was about to resume, but held her tongue. If this lady is as crazy as she acts, then it's rather pointless to bother with what would go in one ear and out the other.
"That's fine. It won't get to court." The other lady replied with a smug grin. "Name's Sara by the way."
Lisa rolled her eyes at that. Clearly this chick is on some kind of drugs, or off her meds. Doesn't matter, the end result being that she ain't right in the head at the moment. Could be dangerous, but then again, how dangerous could a naked and handcuffed lady be?
"As if. Come along now." Lisa replied as she began pushing Sara back to the police car. To her mild surprise Sara was still oddly cooperative, not even resisting in the least. That smug grin remained on her face though, but then again, it's quite common for the delusional to have no clue of how much trouble they're in.
And this- Sara is obviously delusional. There's no way that someone would expose themselves in public like that, and expect no consequences whatsoever. Lisa opened the rear door of the squad car and shoved the naked woman into the back seat. Quickly she closed the door and got back to the driver's seat in the front, strapped in her seatbelt, and started the vehicle.
"You want to know why I'm not scared?" Sara spoke with the confidence of someone who knows how everything will play out, or someone completely deluded. Same difference really.
"Because porn has rotted your brain and you think you live in such a world?" Lisa quipped. She shouldn't be making small talk with the arrested, that's rather unprofessional. But then again, what's the harm? Especially if she's really that deluded. No one will believe the babbling of the crazy, most of the time anyway.
"But what if it is?" Sara asked, with seeming seriousness. Lisa snorted in contempt.
"Yeah right, and you can talk to the camera later, when we take your mugshot." Lisa replied.
"What if I can prove it?" Sara continued unabated, completely not discouraged by Lisa not taking any of it seriously. The policewoman's far from the first person to not believe in the unbelievable. "Actually, I'll show you. Just wait and see."
"That's what they all say." Lisa dismissed the seemingly empty threat. Wasn't the first time she heard that, and it won't be the first time that nothing ever follows up... it's almost always in their head, and the rare exceptions were rather inconsequential, being petty things blown all out of proportion.
Meth is one hell of a drug. Entertaining in the news, but an absolute pain for Lisa and her colleagues to deal with. Not that she thinks Sara here is on meth necessarily. Perhaps something more mild like some prescription drugs or something. A common enough problem in the area.
"Come on, aren't you at least a bit curious?" Sara continued, a sly grin beginning to scrawl across her face. Lisa also finally noticed that Sara was sitting in the back of the police cruiser with her legs spread. Not full spread like in those pornos, but wide enough to give the signal that she's aware of what she's doing.
"No, not really." Lisa replied nonchalantly as she made a turn into the police station's parking lot. The town really wasn't that large in the grand scheme of things, but vehicles are still necessary to haul in the suspects and other such riffraffs, like the current situation. She parked the vehicle into one of the parking spots, turned off the car, got out, circled around to the back, opened the back door before hauling Sara out. As she did so she noticed that there is now a noticeable wet spot on the back seat. "Alright, time to get you sorted out." She muttered, mostly to herself.
"So what's gonna happen now?" Sara asked. Lisa noticed that there wasn't a trace of fear or even concern in her voice, merely that of curiosity.
"Throw your bare ass into the drunk tank for the night, and check in in a few hours to see if that'll knock some sense into you." Lisa replied, not completely matter of factly. "Oh, and probably scrounge up some clothes for you in the meantime." She added the last part almost as an afterthought.
"Would you believe me if things don't turn out that way?" Sara asked slyly. Lisa narrowed her eyes.
"If you're thinking of resisting it will end very badly for you." The policewoman said evenly, though she could not see it turning that way. Chances are if this naked woman does try throwing punches it'll most likely end up with her flailing on the ground like an idiot, just like the majority of those few who do resist. Besides, the naked woman was still handcuffed.
