Rachel pushed the Pulse button on her blender a couple more times. The brown sludge spun and the sweet smell of chocolate milk and grass grew stronger. Across the small kitchen island, Kristi swallowed and told herself the taste was going to be like the smell, not the look.
The fibrous, goopy look . . .
Rachel poured the mixture into two large cups, then slid one over to Kristi.
"Enjoy your Naturally Natural Chocolate Energy Smoothie" Rachel said, somewhat proudly. She tentatively sipped hers, frowned, then tried to pretend she hadn't. "Mmmm. It takes a sec, but it's good."
It wasn't. It was as grassy and chewy as it looked, and the chocolate was almost flavorless with a too sweet aftertaste. Kristi chugged it to get the experience over with, but that was a mistake. Her stomach churned.
Rachel shuffled through the Naturally Natural material sitting on her kitchen counter. "Jenn said we have to watch the first couple videos."
"O-kay," Kristi said. Rachel picked up on the impatience. She looked hurt.
"Hey, I hustled my chunky butt around that park five times this morning so you'd do this with me," Rachel said, her voice as threatening as a chipmunk. Her pale skin was still a red, blotchy mess. She wore sweat stains like medals. "That was the deal. I do your exercise thing with you, you do Jenn's thing with me."
"Actually, you said you wanted to get in shape," Kristi countered. She moved to Rachel's couch, found a blanket to lay out atop it, then laid herself out to relax. Her sore muscles hummed with delight as she sank into soft comfort. "And then Jenn came up." She paused. "And then Naturally Natural came up." She paused again. "And then you asked if I had a few hundred dollars . . . "
A small stack of suitcase-shaped, cardboard boxes stood on Rachel's dining room table, each one a starter sales kit. Cardboard or not, they were quality designed and made.
How much has Eric milked out of you already?
Kristi mused, not forgetting the money she herself was out. She was just helping a friend, Rachel was getting pumped to stay ahead of debts.
"This is still what you said you'd do," Rachel continued. Her TV flipped on, and a loading circle spun. "This is the intro video. I watched it at Jenn and Eric's. Let's watch it, and then the . . . " Rachel read on her piece of paperwork. "The 'sales orientation' video. And then . . . " She stuck out her tongue in exhaustion. "And then I'm done."
The video started.
Kristi was immediately struck by the production value. Soft, energetic melody overlaid a slow, pulsing bass. The music faded seamlessly into the background as the long establishing aerial closed in on Eric and a bleach blonde, Asian woman with large bulging cleavage almost bursting from her top and hips that didn't stop curving.
Jenn?!
Kristi's eyes widened. She couldn't believe it.
How long had it been? Four years? And how much work did she have done in the meantime?
College Jenn was a willowy, dark-haired girl with Japanese eyes and a perpetual frown that only disappeared when she was with someone she liked. She was quiet and studious, though not really shy; she had to keep up with the always jovial, attention-seeking Eric Marnett after all. The last time Kristi had seen her friend, Jenn had just settled into a new psychiatry practice, while Eric was still . . . Eric. The new Jenn was all smiles and trophy wife glam. She'd paid good money for her new . . . body. Kristi glanced at Rachel, but she didn't seem concerned. Kristi frowned and returned her attention to the video, as it focused in on Eric for a proper introduction.
All in all, he looked okay. A few years had added a few pounds maybe. Looks weren't Eric's weakness exactly. And he had enough . . . magnetism that Kristi agreed to one date with him. He was just an ass. Jenn had once explained to Kristi he compensated for a sense of awkwardness by acting out. And that explained why he did stuff like chemically melt all the Beta Lambda Eta girls' underwear . . . and their dressers and half the sorority house when all was said and done.
Allegedly. Not the first nor the last time his parents bailed him out.
The video was over, leaving Kristi confused as to what she had actually learned.
Something, something, ethics? What a load of nothing!
"Exciting, right?" Rachel said, grinning proudly.
"Yeah . . . " Kristi said.
Rachel unlocked her phone, and soon another loading circle spun on the TV. "They just killed it with that intro," Rachel continued, shifting excitedly in her seat. "They're all in."
Kristi nodded blankly, and watched the next video with a bit more interest.
Same music. Same aerial establishing. But now it faded in on Jenn alone. She had the contents of a sales kit spread out on the table in front of her. Kristi was amazed to hear her friend's voice come out of the trophy wife's mouth. Despite her somewhat vapid appearance, Jenn's voice was still calm, husky, and intelligent. It's evenness was engrossing. As Jenn explained the contents of the sales kit, each packet of nutrient powder, how the ingredients combined, Kristi only wanted to know more . . .
And again, after Jenn's very straight-forward explanation of the recipe combinations, the video seemed to go off the rails. Kristi was listening, she was paying attention, but it all seemed to go in one ear and out the other.
By the time the video was over, Kristi felt like she'd been sitting too long, and the old sweat was getting to her. As proud as Rachel seemed of the videos, Kristi was just as dissatisfied. It seemed . . .
Kinda dumb. Eric can't even do pyramid schemes right.
Rachel's enthusiasm waned as she picked up on Kristi's lack. "What's wrong?" she asked sheepishly.
"Nothing!" Kristi lied. She forced a smile. "I'm starting to feel gross. Tired from the park too. I really want to get a shower."
"Okay," Rachel said. She quickly pulled two of the sales kits from the stack. "Since you're being so cool helping me out . . . " She handed the boxes to Kristi. "Four hundred buys a starter kit, but I'm going to give you two. If you get someone else started, you can just keep the money. Call it a finder's fee."
"Thank you," Kristi said. Internally she groaned.
"Send me updates every day, and if you like it, I'll sell you a supplemental pack next month. It's only like fifty."
"We'll see." Kristi gathered her two kits, and the rest of her things and headed for the door.
"Oh! And you'll need to get some milk. You can use water too, but Jenn said it tastes terrible that way," Rachel said.
"Okay, I got it," Kristi said. She let Rachel give her a warm, damp hug, then blew her friend a kiss goodbye.
***
By the time Kristi made it home, she was nearly trembling with pent up energy. Her legs didn't even feel sore on the short walk to her apartment.
Inside, she set the two kits down in a chair, and poured herself a glass of water. As she slowly sipped it down, she considered her apartment, noting some scattered clothes for the hamper, a few dirty dishes on her coffee table, some dusty cobwebs along the edge of the ceiling, and various other things she could quickly knock out before she got in the shower. After finishing her glass and placing it in the dishwasher, she got to work. After a quick pick up, she got to dusting. As she moved her TV cabinet away from the wall to dust the cables, she noticed what a mess her baseboards were. Shortly, she was on her hands and knees scrubbing them. This led to a deep clean of her bath tub, her sinks, and a deep scrubbing of her oven.
By the time Kristi felt finished, it was getting dark outside. She was dripping sweat again, like a fresh run. Her apartment smelled and looked wonderful. Kristi considered it proudly as she slipped off her gloves and tossed them in the kitchen sink. After she rinsed her hands, she reached to strip her clothes so she could finally get a well deserved shower, and found that she was fully nude already.
When did . . . the heat . . . I pulled everything off because I was getting so hot. And I . . .
Kristi opened her hamper. Her workout clothes sat heavily on top. She smiled, feeling a sense of delight and relief.
I put them in there already. Good girl.
Kristi stepped back from the hamper, and frowned, feeling momentarily odd. She shook the feeling and continued towards her shower. The warm water quickly washed away any lingering concern, and by the time she was done, Kristi's body felt like lead. She dried herself, and soon went to bed.
There was a text from Rachel the next morning, urging Kristi to watch the first meditation video, or to come over later so they could watch together. Followed by an email with a dropbox link for Kristi to download all the videos, if she couldn't figure out how to get them off the flash drive in her own kit. Rachel also wanted photos to prove Kristi was doing it.
Kristi mentally groaned.
