My Journal Chads Visits

Once again it has taken me longer than it is supposed to between journal entries. It wasn't completely my fault and I was luckily given extension because of the power and internet going down. I'm not sure what happened but there was a lot of activity near my apartment and a building by the university caught on fire. It is a bit frustrating for me when things like that happen. I couldn't go outside, and other than Chad I really don't know much about what is going on in the world when he isn't here and I don't have any internet.

I was actually kind of irritated with Chad. I'm amazed at myself for even saying that now, but I was really starting to get angry. Not just at him, but with everything. With the internet down and the power out, I wasn't able to work on my assignments or watch the relaxation videos that I'm supposed to watch. It was nice to take a break from dancing because I really get tired when I do that for too long, but even that was making me angry. I was getting really confused by all of this. I know being naked in my apartment and dancing in front of my webcam is supposed to help with my grade and to stay focused, but it was starting to feel strange to me. I know that I was just being selfish, but I was really starting to feel angry at myself, and even the guys who watch me and make comments when I am dancing. I know its no excuse but I really started to become confused.

Chad not coming over for two days was really stressful for me. I was running out of food and was worried about getting hungry. The thought of going outside almost drives me into a panic which is kind of strange for me. I used to go outside a lot and really used to enjoy spending time at the park. Now the thought of it kind of frightens me. Luckily I don't need to. I gave Chad the PIN for my ATM card so that he can buy food for me. As long as my parents keep putting money in my bank account Chad should be able to buy things for me. I'm embarrassed that I was so upset with Chad. I should ask my parents if they will raise my allowance so maybe Chad can spend some money on himself. He really deserves it for taking care of me like he does.

It was really hard for Chad to get to my apartment because there are some streets blocked off and some things going on that I don't know anything about. I guess if its important Chad will tell me about it. He was able to get my internet working though, and once I started watching the relaxation videos, I was feeling a lot better. Chad even gave me a bath. I can't even begin to say how nice that felt. He filled the bathtub with nice warm water and poured it over me with a pitcher after I crawled in. His hands shampooing my hair and lathering my body with soap felt amazing. He even cleaned my ass. It sent chills through me when he did that. I actually thought I might orgasm when he began lathering my ass, and then when he worked the lather into my asshole with his fingers, it was one of the most intense sensations of my life.

After he dried me off, Chad had a surprise for me. I crawled behind him into the living room and he pulled out a rubber ball that he said that he bought for me while he was at the grocery store picking up food for me. I was a little confused and disappointed at first, but when he threw it across the room something in my head must have gone haywire. I don't know what came over me but I crawled over to the ball and brought it back to him in my mouth. I was so overjoyed I didn't even want to let go of the ball. I just sat there on my hands and knees until Chad slapped his hand hard across my ass and told me to drop it, which I did. I loved chasing the ball on my hands and knees so much I was actually disappointed when Chad put the ball away.

It was probably for the best though. I was still famished from not eating. Chad poured some beef stew in a bowl for me. Beef stew isn't something I would normally eat, but I was so hungry I didn't care. I just lowered my head and started eating. I didn't even care that Chad didn't warm it up first. I didn't mean to be careless while I was eating, but it was really hard not to get food all over my face. Chad is so kind, he just smiled when I was done eating and washed my face for me.

One thing that I am really starting to enjoy about Chad's visits is laying in bed with him. I don't spend much time in my bed these day, so laying down on something soft like my bed has become a real luxury. The part I like the best though is laying in bed with Chad holding me. We even kiss sometimes and Chad seems to be less hesitant about touching me. He seemed almost afraid to feel my breasts while we were in bed kissing. I know it sounds funny since he isn't my boyfriend and if this weren't part of a school assignment I would probably never date Chad, but I really enjoy it when he touches me.

I think the thing I've really come to enjoy about Chad is that he doesn't get moody or upset with me. When he punishes me he never seems angry or resentful. In fact, he actually seems concerned for me. I normally date athletes who seem constantly upset by everything. Chad seems like the opposite. He is always asking me if I am alright with everything. I guess that is ironic given the level of humility I feel when I am with him. Even when he is kissing me he wants to know if I am ok. Chad is such an incredibly thoughtful person. I'm going to be sad when this is all over.