Mental Manipulations

I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter out. I have received a number of messages asking for me to continue the storyline, but I hit a bit of writer's block, having thought of a few different ways to take this story. Hopefully, this was worth the wait. The next few chapters should come a bit quicker.

A lot of people have written, telling me to finally let Kurt and Sarah get together. I promise, that will happen. There is very little sex in his chapter, and the next chapter or two will take Kurt on a short diversion from her. I apologize, but I had a couple of adventures for him to go on before he devotes his concentration on Sarah and her church.

I've also had several comments about how it's too difficult sometimes to tell the difference between the thoughts that Kurt is "hearing" and what is actually being said. When I write the stories, I am typing the thoughts in italics, but for some reason they aren't coming through like that when I post them. Therefore, I am now going to type the thoughts not only in italics, but in bold font also. Hopefully this makes it easier to read.

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When I woke up Sunday morning, after spending Saturday doing chores and "busy work" around the house while I recovered from the work-out that Becky gave me, I made myself a good breakfast and then started getting ready to go to Sarah's church.

I was a bit reluctant to go, mostly because I knew that I would be recognized and I didn't want to be a distraction. Sarah needed the attention to be centered on her, not on the man that took down her husband, their former preacher. Regardless however, I promised her that I would be there, so I put my suit on, tied my tie, and got into my truck.

I intentionally got there early and went up to the front, where Sarah used to sit. My thought was that if I got there before most of the others and sat up in front, I would draw less attention, as the rest of the congregation would be sitting behind me and only see my back.

I took a deep breath, readying myself as the band started. About a minute later, the door to the vestry opened and Sarah walked out. Looking around as she started the service, she saw me and smiled. She looked beautiful in a below-knee-length skirt and a white, long-sleeve blouse. She was wearing her long hair down and swept back over her shoulders. I could tell by her smile that she was nervous, but she seemed clearly happy to see me.

'I can't believe that he's sitting in my old seat! How sweet!' I heard from the podium. That was the reaction that I had been hoping for when I sat there. I just smiled at her and gave her a small nod, which I could tell calmed her a bit.

'Take a deep breath and relax,' I sent to her. I saw her chest rise and fall, and then she began.

Instead of a normal service, she gave a brief speech about what had happened the previous week, and the future of the church. She focused on forgiveness, strength, and keeping one's faith strong even in adversity. She spoke about making mistakes and learning from them, and not defining your life by them. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that she had been doing this all of her life. She finished her talk by suggesting that since it was such a beautiful day, they all meet outside for fellowship and joy.

At the end of the service I waited as the rest of the congregation left and Sarah came back out of the vestry. She smiled wide as she saw me and walked up to me. "Thank you for coming," she said. "I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"I promised you that I would be here for you," I replied. "I wasn't about to let you down."

"I knew you wouldn't," she told me, reaching her hand out and touching my arm. 'I hoped that I could trust you!' "You look very nice. I told you that you didn't have to wear a suit, though."

"I know," I replied. "I don't know if you've noticed, but it was going to be hard enough for me to not stand out in this crowd. I had to do what I could to fit in."

Sarah laughed softly, and said, "Yes, we don't have too many men with your build, or with long hair, in our congregation." 'Or that look as good as you do!'

"I noticed," I replied, laughing with her.

"I'm not going to keep you from your congregation," I told her. "I just wanted to tell you that you were outstanding up there today. I knew that you were a strong woman, but you showed even more strength than I thought."

'Don't leave yet!' "Thank you," she replied. "I was up all night writing that sermon, trying to find the right words."

"You did great," I told her. "Now, go out to your people. We can talk more later."

"You're not going to leave me, are you?" she asked, looking scared. 'Please! I need you here!'

"Sarah, these are YOUR people. Go talk to them," I told her. "You don't need me there. I will only be a distraction. There are already plenty of questions about me. You don't need to add yourself to the list."

"Call me later if you want to talk. I would love to see you again," I told her, immediately thinking that I shouldn't have said that.

"I'd like that," she replied, smiling at me. 'I'd like that a lot!'

I waited for her to walk outside, and then I slipped out a side door and got into my truck and drove home.

A couple of hours later my cell phone rang. I smiled as the display told me that it was Sarah.

"Hi Sarah," I said as I answered the call.

"Hi," she replied, softly. "Thank you again for coming out. I can't tell you how much that meant to me."

"You don't have to thank me Sarah," I told her. "It was truly my pleasure."

"How did it go with the congregation outside?" I asked.

"It went great!" she said, her voice picking up. "I am amazed at the support that I am receiving from everyone! I thought for sure that there would be anger and animosity towards me, but it's been nothing like that!"

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," I told her.

"Did you mean it when you said that you wanted to see me again?" she asked me a couple of minutes later.

"Of course!" I replied.

"Good. I'd like that. Would you like to come for dinner again?" she asked.

"Sarah, when was the last time that you left the house?" I asked her.

"Quite a while ago," she said softly.

"That's what I thought," I told her. "How about I take you to dinner?"

"Oh, I don't know," she replied. "I'm still not sure if I'm ready to go out in public yet!"

"Ok, well then how about I cook dinner for you? Here."

"I don't drive, remember?" she asked. "I can't get to you."

"I will come and get you then," I told her.

She hemmed and hawed, looking for an excuse, when I told her, "Sarah, you need a change of scenery, even if only for a couple of hours. Give me a little bit to go to the store, and you can get ready. I will pick you up around, say ... four?"

I think that she finally realized that I wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer, so she agreed.

"Great!" I told her. "What would you like? Steak? Chicken? Seafood?"

"It doesn't matter," she said. "I'm not picky. Whatever you want to fix."

"Ok, I'll surprise you ... and myself," I told her, laughing.

Laughing back, she said, "Ok," and we then hung up. I quickly ran to the local grocery store and tried to figure out a menu from their slim Sunday pickings. I was able to find a couple of decent steaks and some fresh shrimp, so I brought them home and got them marinating before I took a shower and got ready. At four o'clock, I pulled up to Sarah's house and rang her bell.

"Wow!" I said as she opened her door. "You look amazing!"

'Oh my gosh! His eyes! His smile! I feel so beautiful and sexy!' "Thank you. I'm glad you like," she replied softly. Wearing a dark green, sleeveless button-down dress that hugged her curves very nicely, beige heels, and her long strawberry-blonde hair down, Sarah was a vision of retro beauty. She was again wearing a minimum amount of make-up, allowing her face to almost shine. What make-up she was wearing really made her bright blue eyes seem to pop out.

"Yes, I like!" I told her. Blushing, she came out and locked her door. I then led her to my car, and we were soon on our way to my house. As much as I tried to be a gentleman, I admit to looking at her ass and legs as I helped her into my car, and peeking a few looks at her legs as I drove. It seemed that every time I saw her lately, she looked more beautiful. She was making it very difficult for me to give her time to heal.

'Oh my gosh! I'm so nervous! He keeps looking at my legs!'

As we drove to the house, I asked her if she was planning on getting her license. "I had it when I was younger, but ... Dwight didn't want me driving," she told me. "Either he drove me, or I had to call parishioners to drive me places."

"I would like to get my license again, but I haven't been behind the wheel in years."

"How did you do your clothes shopping?" I asked her. "You've been wearing new clothes every time that I see you, it seems."

"I get one of the ladies from church to drive me," she replied. "She actually helped me pick out this outfit, in fact."

"Well, she has good taste," I told her. "Does she know why you bought it?"

"Oh, heavens no!" she replied. "I just told her that I wanted to update my wardrobe! Betty and I have become much closer since he's been gone. She's divorcing her husband too."

"Ok," I said. "Well, if you'd like, I would be happy to take you driving." I immediately wondered if this was the same Betty that I watched Dwight abuse in his vestry.

"Thank you. I'd like that," she replied. "I don't think that it should take me to long to pick it up again."

A couple of minutes later we pulled up to my house. I parked in front of the house and quickly got out and opened the passenger door, offering Sarah my hand to help her out of the truck.

'Wow! A gentleman! I can't remember the last time a man has helped me in and out of a car!'

"Thank you," she said as she slid out. I looked around as we walked into the house and didn't see Rat's bike around, so I knew that he hadn't come back yet.

"This is a nice house!" she said as she looked around.

I thanked her and offered her a glass of wine as I led her out onto the deck. "Sure. Why not?' she replied, giggling. "I'm not driving!"

I watched her as she stood at the railing, looking over the lake. 'She really does have a great ass!' I thought to myself. Her dress, while conservative by most standards, still managed to look very sexy the way it clung to her ass and slid up slightly, giving me a nice view of the backs of her legs.

I took a deep breath and walked out onto the deck, joining her at the railing and handing her a glass of wine.

"Thank you," she said, taking the glass. "I love the view here!"

"That's one of the things that sold me on the house," I told her. "The view from my bedroom balcony is even better."

She turned and looked at me, and I immediately regretted saying that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that the way that it sounded!" I told her.

"It's ok," she laughed softly. "I know what you meant." 'Stop thinking like that! You're still technically married!'

'Hmmm... What WERE you thinking?' I wondered, hearing that.

"Do you want any help?" she asked a couple of minutes later, as I started up the grill.

"Nope, I'm good," I told her. "Thank you, though."

'Polite, intelligent, gentlemanly, good looking ... Please, God, tell me that he's real!' she thought as she watched me.

A couple of hours later, after we finished off the grilled shrimp appetizers, the steaks for dinner, and the bottle of wine, I started picking up the plates. Sarah stood to help me and I told her to sit down and relax, and enjoy the view some more.

"That's not right," she told me. "You helped me clean up when I invited you for dinner last week."

"It's called a double standard," I replied, smiling at her. "Deal with it!"

"Hmmm... A double standard, huh?" she asked.

"Yep," I replied. "My house, my rules."

"Would you like some more wine?" I asked as I walked back out of the house.

"I don't think so," she replied. "I'm already feeling the glasses that I had."

"I told you, I'm not much of a drinker anymore," she added. 'At this point, I don't know if I could trust myself if I had any more to drink!'

"Not a problem," I told her. "I just thought I'd ask."

I quickly put all of the dinner dishes into the dishwasher and then joined her out on the deck again. She was still sitting at the table, looking out over the lake. "Can I get you anything else?" I asked before I sat down.

"You know what?" she replied, "I think I will have one more glass of wine. A small one, though!"

"A small glass of wine it is," I said as I walked back in the house.

I returned a couple of minutes later and gave her the glass. "Can I talk to you?" she asked as I sat down.

"Of course!" I told her.

'It's a good thing I had this much to drink! I don't think that I would have the guts to talk to him right now otherwise.'

She took a deep breath, looking down at the table, and then looked back up at me. "How did you know about ... Dwight?" she asked. 'Please tell me the truth!'

'If only I COULD tell you the truth!' I thought to myself.

"I can't explain it," I told her, trying to dance around the truth. "It was just a feeling that I had. Even with all of the ... non-Christian crap coming out of some of some ministers out there, he just seemed to be a bit over-the-top."

"When I saw you the first time, you seemed so timid. I saw the way that he treated you, the way that he spoke to you ... After that, when I saw the bruising on your face, I KNEW that something wasn't right."

"I have a deep-rooted hatred of men who abuse women," I continued. "When I see it coming from an alleged 'man of God' it makes me even more angry. I saw something in you, and I had to at least TRY to help you."

"You did help me," she replied softly a few seconds later. "I don't know what I would have done without you coming into my life when you did."

"I've told you before, I think eventually you would have stood up for yourself," I said. "You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"He was a dangerous man," she said softly. "I was afraid of him. I still am!"

'I was afraid for my life!'

"Sarah, you have nothing to be afraid of anymore," I told her as I reached my hand across the table to hers. "He's gone. I doubt that he's EVER going to get out!"

"I hope so!" she replied, gripping my hand and looking deeply into my mind.

"So how does your friend ... James? ... fit into all of this?" she asked a few seconds later. 'Get a grip, Sarah! You're making a fool of yourself!'

"Jim and I go way back," I told her. "We, ummm ... worked together."

"Jim is probably the only person that I trust completely," I continued. "He's a tech genius. When I knew that I had to find out some background on Dwight, Jim's the only person that I even considered going to."

"But how did he know where to look?" she asked. "How did he even know where to start?"

"I just gave him what I knew, and he took it from there," I explained, still dancing around the truth.

"I heard that he really hurt a couple of Dwight's friends," she said softly.

"Jim is a very dangerous man when he's threatened," I told her. "He tried to tell them to step down, but sadly, they wouldn't listen."

"What about you?" she asked, looking deeply into my eyes again. 'How dangerous are YOU?'

"Me?" I asked, laughing softly. "I'm smart enough not to make Jim mad at me!"

'You know what I mean!' "I mean, how dangerous are you?" she asked. "I saw what you did to Dwight."

"Me? I'm a pussy cat," I answered.

"Why don't I believe that?"

"Dwight just made the mistake of making me angry by the way that he treated you, and then he threatened me by pulling out that gun," I explained. "I did what I had to do to protect myself, and everyone else there."

"He had his gun pointed at you!" she exclaimed, her voice rising. "Weren't you scared?"

'No, I knew that his chamber was empty,' I thought to myself.

"Of course I was," I told her. "But I knew that worse come to worse, Jim would have my back. He always has."

"I ... I don't know what to say, what to think," she replied, her voice going soft again. "I'm still so confused."

"I know," I told her, softly squeezing her hand again. "You will be for a while."

"A lot has happened in a very short time. There's a lot for you to work through. You WILL get over it, eventually though. Like I said, you're a lot stronger than you realize."

Sarah kept her gaze on me and squeezed my hand in return. "Why do you have so much faith in me?" she asked.

"I just see something in you," I replied. "Why do YOU have faith in ME?"

"You saved my life," she replied, almost whispering.

I could see her eyes start to water so I stood and walked over to her. To my surprise, she stood as I walked to her and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight.

I could feel her sobbing into my shoulder as I held her. "You're ok," I told her softly. "The worst is over. You got through it!"

"But I wouldn't have, if it wasn't for you!" she sobbed loudly as she looked up at me. "I would still be trapped, and afraid for my life!"

"Sarah, I told you ..." I started.

"Stop!" she yelled at me. "No, I wouldn't have! I was terrified!"

"I know you were," I replied, lowering my voice and holding her close. "I know."

"No, you don't," she sobbed into my chest.

A few seconds later she put her hands on my chest and separated from me a little. "I ... I thought about killing myself! I was that scared! But I know that's a sin, and I couldn't do it!" she said softly.

'Holy shit!' I thought to myself. 'I didn't know it was that bad!'

"It's over now," I said softly. "You're safe now."

'I FEEL safe! In your arms!'

Reflexively, I pulled her back to me and kissed her softly on the exposed part of her forehead, just below her scalp. She whimpered softly, and then looked up at me. Before I could do anything, she closed her eyes and lifted her face further, pulling me down to her at the same time.

Our lips met, and she whimpered softly. What started as a soft, tender kiss quickly turned into a passionate, tongue-wrestling kiss with our arms wrapped tightly around each other.

'Oh my gosh! I can't believe this!' she thought, as she moaned and held me tighter.

I quickly felt my cock start to thicken as we continued, and I knew that I had to stop the kiss. I brought my hands up to her shoulders and gently pushed her back, reluctantly breaking our kiss.

'What...? What's wrong? Why did he stop? Did I do something wrong?'

"Sarah, we have to stop," I told her. "We shouldn't be doing this. Not now."

"Why?" she replied, almost crying. "What's wrong?"

"Sarah, you need time," I told her. "You've been through a lot in the last couple of weeks. You need time to heal, to find yourself. I don't want you to do something that you're going to regret later. Something that will make you hate me, or yourself."

'What? What are you talking about? I want you to help me heal! I want to find myself in bed with you! YOU are the only thing that I want to do right now!'

"I can only help you heal so much," I told her.

"You ... you don't want me?" she cried. "You ...you let me believe ..."

"Shhh..." I replied. "It's not like that at all. I do want you. I want you badly. But I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm sorry if I led you to believe anything else. You NEED time. Time to heal. If you were to just jump into something right now, it could hurt you even more, and I don't want that to happen. ESPECIALLY from me!"

"I will do anything and everything that I can to help you, and I hope beyond hope that you still want to come to me when you are done, but I'm not going to rush you. I can't do that to you."