"On a scale of one to ten, how blatantly obvious is this?"
".... like a 3?"
"Oh please."
"Remember you asked that about that sex toy store that was selling modified Hitachi Magic Wands that turned people into cyborg consumers?"
"Yup, Plug N' Fuck Inc. With the slogan 'Lose Your Mind!' Don't know how the hell the Secretary of State let that one slide through, but -"
"And then there was the male strip club that Paris took you to. -"
"Okay, but 'The Generous Tip' is a great male strip club name, especially since they were wearing scented body oil that literally drove all of us wild. I kinda felt bad giving them a citation but -"
"-and our local 'Hooters' competitor is literally called 'Hotties', and-"
"Okay okay, Rapid Rivers business owners are very literal and know their market. Man, no wonder none of you bat an eye at someone blatantly, and probably involuntarily, transformed and horned up."
Chloe shrugged at that. People in general always get used to the local flavor and Rapid Rivers just happened to be a... special kind of flavorful. That being said, perhaps she was lowballing the storefront they were currently in front of. For starters they had passed an eyebrow threader and the world's most bored teenager watching their phone instead of minding their electronics stand, but every other store front was closed or boarded up in this wing besides the one they stopped at. It wasn't necessarily out of place for Rapid Rivers, there was an upscale dancewear shop near her apartment that was called Sin Sluts Chic and-
You know, Jen might be right and we're the weird ones
. -this store wasn't all that different.
It was big, having taken up the end of the wing with a department store-large floor plan laid out before them. The mannequins were dressed and posed provocatively, a thumping of bass and pop tunes and a weirdly fruity smell emanating from inside. The biggest differences were first 'The Bimbo's Kiss' was stylized above in brilliant neon pink, and if the name didn't tell you what to expect from them the store had decided to go with 'bright enough to burn your eyeballs' branding to really drive the point home.
The second was if that wasn't enough, what Chloe could only assume were custom-made mannequins that littered the windows featuring the kind of curves she could only qualify as 'fetish-sized' for how exaggerated they were.
Speaking of involuntary transformations I hope they're mannequins, another Statuesque incident would be miserable.
Shivering away the sudden memory of stiffness coming across her body, Chloe instead pulled out her phone to call Voodoo Queen.
Expectedly, she was stuck waiting three to four rings before VQ answered. Unexpectedly, Chloe flinched a bit as she pulled her phone back from her ear as the first sound she heard was a roar, followed by some cursing in Creole and an explosion.
"WHAT!? I'm a little busy!"
"Oh....uhh... sorry I- " she held her phone back as the noises became louder, the sound of crackling flame and a very pissed off Voodoo Queen speaking more foreign words, Latin this time. "You know what, I'll call you back." Hanging up before she got a response, Chloe gave her phone a look like it was about to explode.
"Should have called the-"
"- I should have called the comm center I know, I'm doing that right now."
Punching in the numbers, Chloe waited patiently as the seconds ticked by before finally cursing and going straight to Minerva. You're on a team now, you tried to communicate.
"Minerva, status report."
"status: maven, miracle maiden, psychometra currently offline. dr. demi currently in her lab. voodoo queen, flamera currently engaged in combat with an unknown dragon and the manimal gang. tricksterella, ninjette currently assisting in evacuation protocols. Flag: downtown currently warded off; dragon hired manimals to assist in robbing a gold delivery from city central banking; manimals have new transformation tech; slingshot is a bunny atm; do not leave HQ Paris. slingshot, currently inactive last known location downtown. magdalena currently in communication center unconscious. unable to rouse, suspect no foul play. athena, nike currently attending european hero award gala."
Of course. Chloe wished she could properly curse Paris but if that was anyone's fault it was probably Keiko's. Clearing her throat she double-checked the area around them before responding. "Enter flag pinning current location: Possible Bimbette location found. Maven and Miracle Maiden investigating. Need proper support whenever you're done with the Manimals..." Chloe couldn't help herself, not looking forward to entering the bimbo's boudoir but out of all the scenarios the other LoV members were dealing with she could think of at least one other being the lowest on the totem pole. "End current flag, enter new flag available for Athena and Nike only: red carpet or Bimbette? Enjoy the self-fellating superhero speeches. Smirk emoji, smirk emoji, finger guns emoji. End flag."
Jen was giving her an incredulous look as she ended the call, which didn't help Chloe in suppressing a giggle turning into more of a snort which made her laugh more. Jen couldn't stop herself, a slow chuckle joining in with Chloe. The Miracle family in all of its glorious combined fake smiles and designer formalwear always made an appearance at the American Hero Awards, of which she could guess the Euro-version was just as much up its own ass based on Chloe trying to stifle the laughter. If given a choice between the two, both girls would rather deal with whatever nonsense Bimbette or Bimbette-adjacent could throw at them over dealing with the types of people that think saving the world should also come with getting a trophy and acceptance speech.
"So Paris fell asleep at the console?" As team leader she should be more strict but the billionaire heiress was sometimes so out of her league Jen couldn't help but feel pity more than anything.
"Worse, she probably tranced herself." Chloe had a good mental image already of what the scene looked like: Magdalena in full costume sitting cross-legged on one of the chairs in the comms room, eyes blank and drooling as rings and alarms left unanswered blare away into deaf ears. At least she's at HQ, Chloe thought, realizing she had piqued Jen's interest.
"Err, Keiko has been teaching her how to meditate. You know?
Empty Your Mind. Count Down From 3. 2. 1.
Yeah, when I walked in on it, we found out Paris is just a little too good at the 'empty your mind' part." The dam had been close to cracking all day but Jen finally couldn't stop herself from erupting into full-blown laughter. The absurd but entirely in-character response their teammate had to meditation was too much, and Chloe couldn't help but join in, much to the annoyance of the nearby teen glancing up from their phone long enough to glare at them.