Chapter 11 - "Slave" Is Your Favorite Word
While Angela still had no idea who she was about to run into, and Clarissa begged for more drugs to soothe the pain she was in, Jonah was stuck driving Gail around. He didn't want to do it, but his sister had left him with no other choice, no hypnosis necessary although a few leftovers still crept in the back of his mind.
His memories were returning little by little, fragments at first, dreamy impressions that could dissipate at any moment if he stopped paying attention to them. How could things have gone that far? Just how fucking suggestible was he and why did he accept such abuse? It was scary, heartbreaking even. His sister had told him she would explain it all yet some things defied all explanations. Logic wasn't at his side, and neither were his emotions. He gripped the wheel, menacingly, and hit the gas. The sudden acceleration caused the car to swerve, but he never lost control. The ambulance brisked ahead, and he didn't want to lose it out of sight. Gail wasn't too happy about this arrangement.
"Are you trying to get us killed?" She offered him an icy stare. He ignored her punished visage, eyes fixed on the road. "Jonah, slow down! I want to live another day, thank you very much!" She insisted.
"Please shut up. I don't want to hear anything from you," the gymnast replied.
"And why not?"
"You know very well why."
"Still mad at me for what your sister did? Talk about misdirected anger. You've got issues, you know?"
"Excuse me?!!"
"You've heard me. Issues. And big ones. You really are a loser but, lucky for you, I love them."
"Gail, if you don't stop talking right now..."
"You will punch me, too?" She laughed. "That's okay. I bet you can't hit as strong as your mother, anyway."
Jonah shuffled his feet and smashed the brakes. The vehicle spun aimlessly, barely escaping the collision against an incoming truck and came to a halt in the middle of the street. His seatbelt protected him from a rampaging shock against the dashboard but so did hers, much to his chagrin. Angry horns flew at him from left and right in-between strings of words better left unspoken.
"You're pissing me off."
"Am I?" Gail composed herself. "Because you looked pretty pissed already before. Was it the strap-on? Was that what you didn't like? Or was it something else? It's just the two of us now. Tell me what's going on inside your dirty little mind..."
Jonah hit his fists against the wheel. "This stopped being funny a long time ago, Gail."
"Ah, so you admit it was funny before? Well, not funny but fun at least. Despite your reluctance, a part of you had fun, didn't it? You liked having no control, you liked being a mind fucked hypnotized puppet. Choosing is hard, I know it is. It's best to drift into a guiltless territory by believing one doesn't have a choice, by following instead of leading, obeying instead of deciding the course of your life. Like all losers, you like being told what to do and losers can't be choosers."
"What did you say?" He blinked.
"Losers can't be choosers. You know this is true."
"I've heard that line before..." Jonah mumbled, stray thoughts wandering to the first session at Angela's office. "But isn't the correct expression...?"
"Who cares what the correct expression is?" Gail interrupted him with a shrug. "Words don't matter. How you feel does though."
"You have a lot of nerve, suddenly pretending you care about my feelings! You wanted to turn us into ever obedient playthings for crying out loud!"
"Yes, I did, and I don't regret it. It would have been an improvement for you all, especially you. It's too bad you can't see it now. Too bad, indeed."
"Are you finished?" Jonah calmed down, the ambulance already far gone.
"No. Aren't you a little curious at least?"
"Curious about what?"
"What I said."
"No!"
"Loser and a liar, huh?"
"Stop calling me that."
"Make me," she gave him the other cheek. "Right here, Jonah. Struck me right here with all your loser might! Go on, if I'm pissing you off so much, then punch me and get it over with, I dare you! Punch me, Jonah! Go on, punch me!"
"No," he exhaled the tension away. "It's what you want so I'm not giving you that. Get out."
"Huh?"
"Get out of the car, Gail. I don't want you around another second."
"It's my car! And you're in charge of taking me to the hospital, remember?"
"I don't give a fuck. Get out! If you're strong enough to ramble the way you're doing, you're strong enough to walk."
She crossed her arms and looked the other way, like a petulant child about ready to throw a tantrum. "No, thanks. If you want me gone, drag me out yourself."
Jonah unfastened his seatbelt and exited the car. Traffic was still coming from everywhere and the door was almost ripped out of his hand but he didn't care. Unlike what she suggested, he could choose his actions whenever necessary and he had just chosen to get rid of the bad influence poisoning the air. Circling the stationary vehicle, he reached for the passenger's seat.
"Get out," he repeated.
"No. It's funny how you said you wouldn't give me what I want and yet you obeyed me. Admit it, Jonah. You want to obey. You want to obey all the time. You want to be a loser following the commands of another even if that person is someone you hate right now. You want to obey me."