All characters are over 18 years of age. This section is from a new POV.
***
So it all really began when I got my report card.
It wasn't good. I mean, I don't usually expect a lot of my report cards. I wasn't good at school. Teachers said I was only really good at things that I was interested in. It's just that what I was interested in was boys and parties and music and stuff like that. I was decent with my art classes, though- As and Bs, which I'm pretty sure was the only reason that I hadn't been kicked out of school already.
For everything else, though? I get
distracted
. My attention wanders a bit and it's really, really hard to keep going back to the boring pages when there's just sooo much more wicked stuff going on-
(-like that time that I was trying to study for a history paper about China or something and then a squirrel was, like, tapping on my window? Like it needed help or something. So I spent most of the night looking for it and then I read up on if you could adopt a squirrel and it turns out you can't, which is really sad. Then I read up the Wikipedia page about squirrels and learned a lot about squirrels but nothing about China, which-)
-which hasn't helped my studies at all.
So I was complaining about it to Hsin and she was all, like, "Why don't you get Five-a-Day to make you smarter?"
Five-a-Day was like this weird hypnotist who got his powers from a Greek dog or something- I wasn't really paying attention when I found out. He used to be this guy that pretty much no-one knew about- he wasn't, like, a creep or a loser or anything- there was this incident with a kitten, you know? - but he was just...kinda there, in the background. You know what I mean? And then he gained mind control powers and he was giving all of these
upgrades
to girls. Like Moesha made it so that she thought she was naked- she wasn't actually naked, she just thought she was-and it was really, really hot for her because I guess she liked being naked in front of people and hey, not judging but wouldn't you feel cold? I dunno-
-anyway, most of the girls in senior year had something done to them. And I said, "What do you mean?"
"Well," Hsin said, "I got a sports package."
"Oh." Hsin was a cheerleader and she was really
intense
about it, like how I was all scatterbrained about stuff? She was the opposite. She was incredibly focused about cheerleading. Wanted it to be an Olympic sport and stuff. She was always talking about how difficult it was and how cheerleaders had to be driven and how too many cheerleaders just did it to get boys and stuff like that (guilty). So I wasn't surprised that she'd gone and talked to Five-a-Day to get herself upgraded.
"So, you're like- stronger and shit?" I looked her over.
"No," she said. "I get really, really focused. It's like I'm in the zone when I'm practicing, you know? And it feels..."
"What?"
She shivered and bit her lip. "I feels so good. Like, really,
really
good. I need to go to the toilet afterwards, if you know what I mean."
"Wow."
"I'm going to push for all the girls to get the upgrade at the next cheer meet- we're going to smash the regional comps! So yeah, you should go get an academic upgrade or something." She patted me on the shoulder. "You do it now, I reckon you might be able to get into college."
I laughed. Me? In college? There was no way my grades were good enough. There wasn't nearly enough time left in the year. "I'm not college material."
"You sure?" Hsin said, a glint in her eye. "College life. College parties. College
boys
."
I nodded thoughtfully. She made an excellent series of points. "Fine then. I'll talk to Five-a-Day."
So I did. I mean, I actually talked to Tara, who was Five-a-Day's bff and also kind of his secretary? She was pretty in a thin sort of way but really kind of closed-off. Like, whenever you talked to her about getting an upgrade she got this far-away look on her face. I guess she was worried about doing anything dodgy because she was always going on about making sure we wanted all this stuff (duh, of course we did.)
So I went and I talked to her and she was all, like,
sure we can get it done
and I was like
wicked
and she was
like let us know if you don't like it
and I was like
sure
and then Gabby showed up and it got awkward and then the next day Five-a-Day came around and we talked for like a minute and then that was that.
I was upgraded.
Didn't really feel any difference straight away. I went home and had dinner with my parents and it was meatloaf-
(-and I
hate
meatloaf because it tastes terrible so I always use gravy to mask the taste but Mom's started to use this cheap gravy which she totally denies but
I can taste the difference Mom
, and so I'm just left with bad meatloaf and too much bad gravy and I still get in trouble for using too much gravy and-)
-so anyway then I went upstairs to do my math homework.
Math. No-one likes math. Okay, no-one
sane
likes math. So I opened the books and I started on my maths homework and...
I just kind of slipped into it.
It's hard to explain. All of the logic puzzles and questions and complexities were just- there, in my head, filling my mind entirely. My surface thoughts, my deep thoughts, my subconscious thoughts, they concentrated on math and stayed there, all sharp and clear in a way that I never felt before. I swam in those math questions, gulped them down in filled myself with them; wrote them on my bones and wrestled with them in my blood.
If that squirrel came back and offered me
drugs for free
I wouldn't have noticed.
When I surfaced from whatever sea of consciousness I'd just entered, I figured out four things really quickly.
1) Two whole goddamn hours had passed and I hadn't been distracted. Not once.
2) I was pretty sure that I'd done better with the answers. Not perfect or anything but
better.
Having my brain focused like a laser paid off in a big way.
3) I was horny.
4) Like,
super-hyper-mega
horny.
I got off my desk, threw Mr. Fluffles off the bed (I promised I would make it up to him later) and stripped off my pants and then my already sopping wet panties. And then I went to town.
Three incredible orgasms later I'd burned through enough of the arousal haze to think properly. The upgrade had turned out to be very, very different to what I'd expected. Different but not in any way
bad
. The way I saw it I got a brain upgrade and really intense orgasms, which was a serious win-win in my books.
I got off the bed, changed my panties, threw my jeans in the wash (yup, I'd soaked all the way through) and then...
Then I cracked open my English homework. I couldn't stop grinning.
***
The next few weeks passed in a blur. A happy, horny, academic blur.