Lexi's Exploration

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who gave me the feedback and words of encouragement on part one. I really love hearing from all of you who read my work. I am working on continuing this to multiple parts and I really hope you will all continuing to enjoy the different way's Lexi's life will change. A note that this is, as one might imagine, a work of fiction.

Part Two: The Laundry Room and the Lingering Problem

In the weeks after the incident with Caitlyn and Daniel I found myself pulling away from them. Periodically, they would text to check in that I would either give a dismissive reply to or just ignore. Or I would get knocks on my door in the evening that I would choose to avoid. Once there was even a knock on the bedroom wall.

I didn't want to avoid them. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was quite the opposite. To my shock I learned how little I regretted what had happened between us or how I had acted. I realized how much I desperately wanted it to continue but also how bad that could be for them. I was just the 20 year old that lived next door. They were a full grown ass couple with their own history that I didn't want to ruin.

A few nights after our incident I could hear them on the other side of the bedroom wall. It was what Caitlynn had warned me about. He moans and his grunts reverberated through the walls. I could hear her say, "Harder. Fuck me HARDER!" I could hear his responses that seemed mostly grunts and pants. Just sounds of orgasmic ecstasy.

I tried to resist when I heard this. I tried to focus on something else. But still my fingers worked, seemingly automatically. I found myself slipping a finger inside of myself which surprised me as it was not my norm. I was still a little sore from our night together but, in that moment, I didn't care. My hand alternated between pumping fingers in and out and vigorously rubbing my clit. Suddenly a strange urge overtook me and I switched hands. My left hand playing with my pussy as my right, still damp with juices, slid a finger into my ass. Why was I doing this? I never had before. But that thought slid from my mind as I screamed an orgasm into my pillow.

The following morning I woke up to a text from Caitlyn saying "Hey Lexi, I really think we should talk."

I didn't want to lie to her. I didn't want to lie to Daniel either. It was just getting too complicated in my brain to sort it out so I simply responded with a vague, ""Yes, I would love to talk. I'm just a bit busy but I will let you know when I am free later."

In the meantime I decided it was a good idea to get to know the rest of my neighbors. I had always liked baking as a kid so I made a big batch of cookies to start handing plates out to the people around me.

I met Mr. Samson, the 49 year old architect in 3B. He was a kind man who seemed to have a serious, yet harmless crush on my aunt Claire.

Ruby Errington was in her mid thirties. She and her 4 year old son, Brex. Lived in 1C after her recent divorce. He was a cute kid who loved my cookies and I offered to babysit if ever needed.

The Johanson's, a middle aged couple in 1A used to live in the apartment I am in until he fractured every bone from his knee down in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. Ronny said it got too hard to go up and down the stairs if the old elevator was out.

Becky Waterman in 3C was a 29 year old, mid-level bank manager with three cats. In the brief time we met she insisted that I come to work with her and that I was, "Perfect. And I know perfect when I see perfect." This was before one of her cats bolted from the cracked door and she immediately blamed me. We will not be good friends.

I felt I had to give some cookies to Caitlyn and Daniel but I still felt awkward. By this point they had reached out a few more times saying we should talk. I decided to leave them a note saying I was thinking about them and would reach out and just leave their plate in front of their door.

My last cookie delivery was 4A, across the hall. I knew from talking to neighbors that this would be our oldest tenant, Ms. Dimsly. I had also heard she was a bitch. Which is why I was shocked to meet a man in his young 20's at the door.

He greeted me with a big, kind smile. He was tall, well at least, tall for me which isn't actually saying much. His bronze skin clean shaven and his perfectly straight white teeth were weirdly distracting. He seemed fit in a uniform of blue scrubs. I would later learn he was 23 and it surprised me because I have often found that I am often not attracted to men near my age but he seemed to be an exception.

I remember being in 10th grade and telling Megan Stevenson that I had a crush on our teacher, Mr. Clark, who was probably 12 years older than us. She said "Lexi, are you sure you just don't have daddy issues?" But honestly, I don't, it's just in my experience there is more maturity, stable income, and a calmness about them that men of my age didn't have. Plus a little salt and pepper in the hair can be attractive. This is probably why I was so surprised by how flustered I felt by the man standing in the doorway of 4A.

"He-hello," I said, weirdly stammering, "I'm Alexis- I mean Lexi, I just moved in across the hall."

I could hear the angry voice of Ms. Dimsly from inside say "Did she say across the hall? Is it that whore, Claire?"

The man closed the door a little more behind him and his smile turned to one of knowing apology. "Sorry," he said softly.

"Oh no, it's okay." I said, still stammering stupidly. What had come over me? This guy was attractive but he wasn't out of this world and I was far from the stammering schoolgirl type. Had the whole incident with Caitlyn and Daniel messed me up that much? But still I continued "I'm not the whor- I mean that's my aunt. I mean she's not- Anyway, I'm Lexi and I brought cookies."

"Thanks Lexi," He said while taking the plate, "I'm Evan. I am Ms. Dinsley's daytime assistant."

Right then the elevator door swung open and Caitlyn came out. We locked eyes and we gave each other a little wave. I felt awkward for so many reasons.

"Great." I said, looking for an exit for my awkwardness. "Anyway if you need anything. I mean, you and Ms. Dinsley, then I am right across the hall."

Before he could reply I quickly vanished back to my apartment to try, in vain, to figure out why I was weird. The moment I got inside my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was, of course, Caitlyn.

"Thanks for the cookies," It read, "also, Evan is a sweet guy isn't he? Too bad he has to work for that Hag. Anyway, we really should talk soon. Are you free now."

"Sorry," I replied "I was just about to go out." This was a lie. I was planning on staying in for the night but in order to avoid the situation and examine what was actually going on with myself I looked up movie times on my phone and quickly left.

The next evening I was surprised by a knock on the door. My first thought was to avoid it. I had just gotten back from work and the gym and had planned on taking a hot bath. Eventually I mustered up my energy and fought back the instinct to avoid. I had been acting stupid and it was time to have this conversation. I didn't know what it would look like. I felt it could end in tears or in each other's arms but the bandage needed to be ripped.

But when I opened the door, for the second time in two days, I was surprised to see Evan. He was holding my plate. "Hello," he said casually, "just thought I would bring this over and apologize for Anne, I mean Ms. Dinsley. I'm sure she didn't mean to call your aunt a whore. Wait, no, that's a lie. I am SURE she meant it but she's that way with everyone so I'm sorry."

I just laughed. "It's okay." I assured him, "If I know anything it is that my aunt would find that hilarious."

"Anyway," He said, "I also wanted to see if you might want to get coffee or get dinner or a drink or something."

"Yes!" I couldn't play it cool. I just had to dive into the things that made me uncomfortable. I quickly gave him my number and hopped back inside.

I went to bed early that night. I just felt emotionally and mentally drained. I had been doing all of these mental gymnastics trying to avoid the things I really felt.

There was THUNK against the wall that startled me awake. Grabbing my phone I realized it was only midnight. What the hell was going on? But that question was quickly answered when I heard a woman's voice say "Punish me like your whore!" followed by a distinct crack of something on skin.

"Yes," The voice, Caitlyn's voice, continued, "I deserve it. Do it for your pleasure." there were more cracks followed by yelps.

My unconscious self started to rise up again with images. I imagined I'm kneeling on all fours. My hands are bound with thick, black rope. I imagine in front of me Caitlyn, tied to a bed. Daniel is over her, holding her legs up, the way he held up mine. He is panting as he is thrusting into her. There is a gag in her mouth but she is moaning loudly. I imagine her perfect breasts bouncing with each thrust before the readening of her skin as he slaps them as hard as he can. In my mind's eye I can see it as he straddles her chest and jerks his cock, shooting ropes of hot cum onto her panting face. I imagine this shoots waves of pleasure through me and with every one is a matching hard paddle slapping forcefully across my ass. As my mind's eye backs up I can see the person holding that paddle is Evan.

Suddenly, my conscious brain fights back. "No, no, no" I say while wrenching my hand out of my soaked panties. Denying myself this pleasure took everything in me. That dark part in me, the part with that imagination, is angry and this. It wants more but for now I just sleep.

I was on my way to work on Saturday when Evan called me. We chatted for a second as he tried to casually let me know he would be in my area and if I would be free for lunch. I let him know that I had a shift at work but could meet him for dinner after.

Immediately, my brain flashed the fantasy I had had of him and that part of my brain tried to reach up and take control. Suddenly I wanted to invite him to my place and let him know he could do, literally, whatever he wanted to do. I wanted to beg him to use me. Beg him to please me or punish me. I wanted to have him praise me or degrade me.

The words were on my lips but I managed to push them down. Then the feeling of lust transformed into one of anger. Not anger towards him but towards me for denying it. What was going on and how long could I hold it back? Did I need a therapist? What would I even say to a therapist? "I made a new friend and the first night I met her husband we were all put in a trance and fucked each other. Now I am avoiding them and my inner self is so horny I can't even have basic interaction." That would get me committed.

Even snapped me out of these thoughts. "So Sage and Sprigs at 7?"

"What?" I said, "Wait, yeah, yes, sure. That sounds great."

My day at work was spent mostly in my head. How do I hold this part of me back? What happens if I can't. Would Evan reject me for being so forward? Is it a red flag if he didn't? What's worse, is it Evan that I want or is he just a stand in for Daniel and Caitlin? I couldn't get the thoughts of Caitlyn's soft skin and her firm grip. Or the memory of the feeling of fullness that Daniel gave me. Was this even fair to Evan?

I eventually decided I was too much in my head and decided to have fun with it. I kept reminding myself that this was just dinner. Nothing had to happen. Though, a deep part of myself protested this greatly.

It turned out to be a good night. A little awkward at times, but first dates often are. He talked a bit too much about his ex that he just broke up with and his intramural soccer team. I didn't talk enough about anything out of fear of what I would let slip out.

My unconscious mind was working overdrive. Random thoughts burst into my mind. They ranged from the innocuous, "you should invite him home," to the specific, "go on his side of the booth and jerk him off before the waiter gets back."

But in spite of that I was able to keep my mouth shut. And the part of my brain that was silenced was enraged and vowed vengeance.

The date ended with a struggle Evan pointed out the night was young and asked if there was anything else I wanted to do. But, my response felt like it took minutes to force from my mouth. The word's "Not tonight, but next time." Felt like the biggest lie I had ever told.

The next day I just slept. I was so mentally exhausted from fighting myself. I would periodically wake and see the pile of laundry I had or think about dishes in the sink. But then my inner thoughts got petty. If I wasn't going to do what I wanted to do then it would be nothing at all.

I woke up the next day grumpy with my choices. I tried to reset with a hot shower but when I got out I realized that I worked the later shift and most of my clothes were dirty.

I grumpily put on work out shorts and a black tank top, loaded my hamper, grabbed my soap and started to drag the hamper to the elevator.

Our laundry room was in a dark, windowless basement. You had to go down a fluorescently lit hallway lined with small storage closets for the apartments above. As well as passing the huge boiler room where I had occasionally seen Steve, the building manager, working.

GTo my surprise, Evan was there switching out laundry. "Hey," he said, "Good seeing you so soon. I tried calling you yesterday but couldn't get through."

"Hey," I said, starting to load a machine, "Yeah, sorry. I sort of just crashed yesterday." I just wanted to make casual conversation. "Um, so you do her laundry too?"

"Yeah, anything that is needed." He said tossing more clothing from a washer to a dryer, "It is actually the best time of the day. It's when her soap opera is on and she hates to be interrupted. Frankly, I found that was the best thing for me to do because I was getting really invested. Would John find the documents to inherit his father's company? Was Miranda really going to seduce Adam AND his brother, Mike? It was too much to handle."

"Wow," I responded, "Seducing brothers. Sounds devious and delightful."

He laughed, having no idea that, at that moment, I was not joking at all. "Yeah, so I have to pull my eyes away from the screen and come and do laundry, or take out the trash. Anything but that."

"Plus," I said with a slight smile, "You're a hard worker but with all that seduction you don't want to walk around being a HARD worker."

I got a slight chuckle out of him for that joke, but even that slight acknowledgement of a dirty joke made me start to lose control. That unconscious mind was coming to the surface. And worse, I could feel my conscious self, the part of me that had been able to exercise some level of control, being pushed down.

Suddenly, time slowed then stopped. It felt like I was back in that night, not long ago, with the strange words being read. My body felt rigid, like it was on autopilot and I didn't have control. I was a passenger, a witness, to whatever my unconscious wanted to do. Why was I feeling this again?

I could feel my hand suddenly reach forward, casually, but intentionally towards the blue fabric of Evan's blue scrub pants. I could hear myself say, "We can't have that can we. You need to find a way to relieve that tension. I am here to help."

Evan stammered and looked around before blurting out, "Someone could walk in."

I heard myself respond, "I don't care." My hand was only separated by a few millimeters of fabric from his dick and I could feel it swell and harden. I added, "And it doesn't really feel like you care either."

"It's just, we just..." It is hard for him to make sentences but the lust that was controlling me from inside didn't care. That lustful force moved me to my knees, my face centimeters from his bulging pants. I could feel my hand moving of its own accord to his waistline, needing to to free what was underneath.

The elastic waistline of his pants and boxers being pulled down suddenly caused his cock to spring back. A moan of anticipatory delight came from me as it gently smacked against my face.

I found myself starting to lick from the base of his shaft to the tip. There would be a pause there, letting the anticipation of the feeling of my mouth build before moving to lick the other side, or flicking my tongue against his balls.

I paused and pulled back slightly. What was I doing? My conscious brain wondered. Why would I stop? Yet the answer became clear soon. My mouth opened wide to the point the muscles on my jaw felt stretched. My tongue coming out ever so slightly over my lower lip. I was positioned in front of him. Looking up at him with big, demanding eyes.

Finally, I made my intentions known. I was mortified and turned on by the words escaping me. "I want you to fuck my mouth." I said to him as my arms reached up and grabbed his hips and urged him forward.

Slowly he entered my mouth about halfway. I could hear a moan as he gently started to push himself in and out. He was moaning but I assumed he was holding back as he was trying to process if this was real or not.

But my unconscious self wasn't having it. I pulled back and looked up at him. I could feel anger in me as a stern voice outside of my control said, "I said. FUCK. MY. MOUTH. Don't be gentle, don't be kind. I want that hard cock slammed into my throat."

Feeling more comfortable now I could feel his hands on the back of my head. He pushed his cock forward, harder and deeper than before. Passion exploded inside of me as I could feel his cock reach my throat as he started to speed up.

My own hands found their way under my own elastic waste line of my shorts. Though part of me knew that whatever state I was in was so heightened, I could have probably cum from just the feeling of him using my mouth for his pleasure.

My hands worked on autopilot in the way they had discovered before. A finger from one hand sliding into me as I seemed to be dripping with lust, then finding my asshole. While my other hand played with my clit. All the while, his cock thrusting deep in and out of my mouth.

I could feel the pleasure I was giving myself. I could feel the pleasure it was giving me to be used by him. So much so, my conscious brain briefly stopped fighting it. The speed at which he was thrusting into me became staggering and my gulping sounds were quickly joined with a muffled screaming orgasm. I could feel his cock start to twitch and I knew he was close so I quickly pushed him back.

The second his cock left my mouth I spit on his dick and started to rub it, then spitting on it again, lubing it up. "Don't cum yet." I said to him with a devious smile.

I stood up and walked to the wall opposite of him. I turned my back to him and pulled my shorts down, letting them drop to my ankles. I placed my hands on the wall and stuck my ass out towards him as an invitation.

He positioned himself behind me and I could feel as he started to move his cock around, guiding it to my pussy. But to my conscious mind's terror I quickly said, "No, not like that." My hand reached behind me and grabbed his shaft, still wet with saliva, and positioned it so the tip of his cock was pressed against my asshole.

He paused, "Are you s-," but my body didn't let him finish. My hips answered him as they pushed themselves back allowing the head of his cock to enter my awaiting ass.

It was a feeling I had never felt before. There was pain, it was clear that saliva was an imperfect lube. But the heightened state I was feeling seemed to amplify the new feelings of pleasures in a way I couldn't have imagined and they seemed to override everything else. As he continued to push slowly forward there was a feeling of fullness that I could not find words for.