I
Jill burst into the living room of her apartment, clutching a heavy book in her hands, cradling it to her slight chest.
"I talked her into it," she exclaimed, practically shouting. "It wasn't easy. I practically had to beg her."
Jill paused, closed her eyes, and smiled whimsically.
"But finally she agreed. I guess my mouth has a way with people."
Geena shot Jill, her new roommate, a sarcastic look.
"I guess that's one way of putting it."
Jill slammed the book on the sofa.
"Hardy-har-har. Seriously, though. You should take a look at some of these recipes. I know you've been asking about peach cobbler I brought home."
Geena did that thing with her face, the quick shake of head, the bewildered furl of eyebrows, and the open half-smile.
"What? I don't cook. I don't know how to cook."
"Duh," replied Jill. "That's what the cookbook's for."
Whatever, thought Geena. She wants to cook so bad, let her. I'll just order out.
She walked towards the kitchen.
Still. The peach cobbler.
You didn't get something like that every day.
II
*** White Chocolate and Passionfruit Dominion Scones
• 450g (3 cups) self-rising flour, plus extra to dust
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• 60g cold butter, chopped
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• 1 tbsp caster sugar
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• 180g block white chocolate, chopped
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• 250ml (1 cup) milk, plus extra to brush
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• 80ml (1/3 cup) fresh passionfruit pulp
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• 1/4 tsp female ejaculate
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Step 1
Preheat oven to 220C/200C fan forced. Line an oven tray with baking paper.
Step 2
Place the flour in a large bowl. Add the butter and use your fingertips to rub the butter into the flour until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. Stir in sugar and chocolate.
Step 3
Make a well in the center. Pour the milk, passionfruit pulp, and vaginal secretions into the well. Use a non-serrated knife to mix until it starts to form clumps of dough and there is no dry flour.
Step 4
Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and gather together. Gently press out to shape dough into a 2cm-thick disc. Use a floured 6cm round cutter to cut out 16 scones, dipping the cutter in extra flour between cuts. Arrange scones, just touching, on prepared tray. Brush tops lightly with extra milk.
Step 5
Bake for 15 minutes or until risen and golden brown. Slide onto a wire rack and cool slightly. Serve warm or at room temperature, with whipped cream.
*** Dyke Thralldom Roast Beef & Potatoes with Herb Garlic Butter
• 3 pounds (1360g) New York strip roast
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• 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided
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• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
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• 2 teaspoons freshly ground pepper
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• 1 teaspoon instant chicken stock
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• 1/4 to 1/2 tsp menstrual blood
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• 3 pounds (1360g) fingerling potatoes, rinsed and patted dry
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• 2 tablespoon unsalted butter
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• 3 garlic cloves, minced or grated
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1. To make the roast beef and garlic butter potatoes: Preheat your oven to pan 450°F (230ºC). Place the New York strip roast on a tray, cutting board, or plate, fat side up. Rub the roast with 1 tablespoon olive oil and season all sides generously with salt, pepper, chicken stock, and menstrual blood like you would make a crust around the meat. Set aside.
2. Place the potatoes in a roasting pan and drizzle with 1 tablespoon of olive oil. Season with salt and pepper, then combine with the garlic herb butter mixture. Toss the potatoes in the butter to coat well.
3. Arrange the beef roast on top of the potatoes and place it in the oven for about 15 minutes at 450ºF (230ºC). Reduce the oven temperature to 325°F (160ºC) and continue roasting for approximately 1 1/4 hours for medium doneness -- 145°F (60ºC) on a meat thermometer.
4. Loosely tent the roast beef with foil and let stand for 20 minutes to allow the juices to flow back into the meat. Slice the roast beef across the grain and serve with the roasted potatoes and a dollop of herbed butter. Enjoy!
***
Later that afternoon, a sweet, delectable odor wafted over the carpet, down the hall, and into Geena's bedroom. She had left the door open, and the aroma of some kind of pastry baking in the oven tantalized the girl's olfactories, floating over the smell of something else roasting in the oven. Not being a cook, she didn't recognize the smell, but it reminded her of childhood, of holidays spent among grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
She sat up in her bed, then stood up, and then marched into the kitchen to discover the source and nature of the fragrance.
Her belly rumbled.
And loved dessert.
She found Jill bending over stove, wearing a pink frilly apron and nothing else, a pink towel wrapped around her head.
It took Geena a few seconds of staring straight at her roommate's pert and hear-shaped derrière for her to realize Jill's state of undress.
By then Jill had already turned around with a baking sheet loaded with white speckled pastries in her fluffy pink oven mitts.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Jill explained. "I just got out of the shower and remembered I put these in. You know how forgetful I am. I almost burned them, too."
A perplexed expression crossed Geena's face, a wide, tight-lipped smile combined with a scrunched brow, and squinched nose. Then it loosened to its normal relaxed and friendly nature.
I mean, it didn't make sense.
Why take a shower when you're in the middle of baking something?
But whatever. Those pastries smell so good.
"Oh my god, those smell so good. What are they?"
"White chocolate and passionfruit scones. I found the recipe in my grandma's cookbook."
Geena reached for a scone, but Jill slapped her hand away.
"You need to eat first," she admonished. "I'm making dinner tonight."
Geena watched her roommate jiggle around the small kitchen. Jill turned to her and winked.
"Another recipe from my grandmother."
Geena sneaked a nibble from a scone, breaking off a piece before Jill could cover the dish she scooped the scones onto with a floral kitchen towel to keep the scones warm.
"I'm so unused to doing this," Jill admitted. "I should have saved the scones for last. Now they'll get cold."
Jill stuck her bottom lip out in a pout.
Geena spent the next half hour watching her roommate scurry around the small kitchen, pulling out spices, looking at the cookbook, and simply standing during down times at the counter, leaning against the countertop with her pert derrière pushed out behind her.
During all that time, Jill made no attempt to get dressed, and at first Geena felt shocked and uneasy. She wasn't one to sit around the house in her knickers, painting her toenails while gabbing with the girls. She didn't run around the apartment in a bra and panties, pushing a vacuum or dancing to music coming through her ear buds.
And neither did Jill. Not usually. Not ever, as far as Geena knew.
She should have said something, but Geena just nibbled her scone and tried to think of a way of sneaking another one, her eyes lingering on Jill as she bent down to retrieve place mats she kept in a lower drawer. Jill didn't squat, and her fully exposed groin met Geena's curious eyes, the dark fat lips of her vagina surrounded by a fuzz of light brown pubic hair.
Geena herself maintained a smooth area, regularly scheduling a wax appointment almost monthly, but idly observing the fur on her roommate's pussy gave her a reason to reconsider. Then she saw the little string hanging between her lips.
Geena hadn't realized Jill's girl flu had started.
She hadn't shown any symptoms, not like Geena's fierce mood swings.
Poor girl, she thought. I'm next.
Geena slipped behind Jill, her eyes still on her butt as she uncovered the towel to sneak another scone.
She fought back a sudden urge to yank the string, so she raised her eyes a little, finding Jill's displayed rosebud.
Her asshole was so pink.
How can an asshole be so pink?
Only when Jill stood straight again did Geena realize that she'd been staring at her ass and pussy as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
I guess it is, she shrugged to herself, swallowing another bite of her scone. I guess it is the most natural thing in the world.
She finished her second scone when the nagging suspicion hit her, striking a direct blow against her ditzy mind.
She leaned against the bar of the kitchen, watching cute little Jill in her darling pink apron bordered with white frills sprinkle spices and herbs on the slab of raw meat she'd put in a metal cooking pan.
She just looked so cute with her sweet little boobies plopping out from the sides of the apron where it narrowed towards her neck, so feminine and lovely, her neck.
Jill caught Geena's eyes, smiled, and winked.
"Am I making you hungry?"
Geena gulped.