Last Thing On My Mind

I'm watching the custom hypnosis program Maisie made for me and thinking about how well it's working. It's very beautiful; there's a continuous flow of light and color coming up at me from the center of the screen, flashing by in rotating bands that provide the optical illusion of endless depth as I stare and listen to the binaural sounds playing through the headphones. I can feel myself giving in to the pervasive sense that I'm floating further in even though my body is perfectly still. I'm appreciating it. I'm enjoying it. And my whole body is alive with anticipation as I wonder what the last thought to cross my mind will be before it swallows up my consciousness completely.

Maisie said it would do that. No--Maisie

promised

it would do that. She knows I'm always craving a deeper trance experience, she knows I'm always trying to get rid of that last little flicker of awareness in the back of my head that notices my girlfriend brainwashing me into an ever more docile and compliant slave. We've talked about it before; she knows I trust her enough to respect my limits and boundaries even when I'm so completely deep and defenseless that the actual ability to think about what I'm being programmed with is beyond my empty and obedient mind, and she craves that level of total power over me every bit as much as I crave the rush of waking up from a trance without even a glimmer of memory of what she made me say and think and do. This is the culmination of years of our mutual fantasies.

If it works... but god, I already know it's going to work. I can feel that insistent pull, an undertow tugging my thoughts down the tunnel one by one as the binaural beats thrum in each ear with a frequency that counters the wavelengths of consciousness in my mind. This early period of lucidity I'm experiencing, this momentary stretch of overthinking and analyzing my own trance to break down exactly how it's affecting me and why I can't stop it? That's all going to fade away. I'm going to keep getting dumber and drowsier until my eyes lock onto the middle distance and I become a totally numb, totally empty hypnoslave for my Mistress. God, it's so fucking sexy.

My cunt begins to throb, but I resist the urge to put my fingers down between my slick thighs and play with myself. It still feels too much like a conscious decision at this point, and I want to wait until I'm so deeply distracted by the spinning tunnel of light that I don't even notice I'm rubbing my pussy for Maisie. Until I'm acting purely on instinct. I wonder what she'll do to me when she's got me that deep? I wonder if I'll even know. Fuck, I want that so badly. I want to wake up with a warm pink mist of pleasure where my memories should be, not knowing whether my will is my own anymore or if I'm operating on a new set of instincts programmed into me by my owner.

I--I'd never tell her this, I don't want to freak her out, but... sometimes I secretly fantasize about her violating my boundaries once she got me that deep. Not that I want her to, not really, but sometimes when I'm edging and listening to one of the files she gave me and my brain is idling in stupefied bliss, I daydream about going so deep that she can decide to make deep and permanent changes to my mind and I can't even begin to stop her. I can't even realize she's doing it. Like... fuck, I don't even know. Making me have sex with strangers. Making me want to get pregnant. Anything she fucking wants.

I feel a thrill of delicious terror in the back of my head as I realize that's not just a daydream anymore. I've been off inside my own mind for a while now, woolgathering in an increasingly distracted fashion about what this is going to mean and what it's going to do for us and how good it's going to feel to be completely mindless for Maisie, and it's taken me ages to realize I haven't even noticed the screen in front of me for some time. I've just been staring sightlessly ahead, drifting deeper into my own soft and fuzzy thoughts, and I... I couldn't tell you what I've been looking at. Or listening to.

There's a voice in the binaural audio now, a voice that I gradually tune in on as it says, "...so blank and empty, all those silly thoughts sucked out of your head leaving only blissful silence," and I have no idea how long Maisie's been talking to me. I don't know how many of my daydreams were my own, and how many of them were implanted in my mind like seeds pressed into fertile soil. I went... ohhh, fuck. I went completely blank there for a little bit. Not quite as blank as I'm going to go, not so blank I didn't even think about how little I was thinking, but this shit is working. It's really really working.

And this... this momentary flicker of awareness, it won't last. Already I can feel myself settling back into numb and sleepy complacency, my eyelids drooping as I begin to slip away into the endless flow of color and let the illusion pull me out of myself. My muscles twitch, that same twitch you get right before you fall asleep when your whole body relaxes so deeply that it feels like you're falling, and it's only when a drop of saliva spills onto my bare thigh that I realize I've been leaning closer and closer to the screen with my mouth open and drooling. I try to close it, but I don't have the energy anymore.

And it's... oh god, it's so, so fucking good. More and more of my attention centers on that warm, hazy feeling of pacified blankness inside my head, that stoned and sleepy feeling like a constant mellow high permeating my entire brain. I wonder for a moment if this is how my thoughts are going to fade away completely, if I'm simply going to focus more and more on how good it feels to think less and less until that final little nub of consciousness submerges beneath a sea of pure ecstasy and I sink into mindless bliss for Maisie like a good girl. I... yes. Please. That's what I want.

But I can't quite stop picturing what happens next, the moment after the happy ending when I wake up with my pussy all squishy and sated and I find myself blissfully devoted to my lover on a level neither one of us has been able to fully realize until now. Will she make me stupid? We've experimented with intelligence play before, and I've always enjoyed being giggly and ditzy and gullible for her, but there's always been a lingering sense that I could snap out of it if I truly wanted. But she's... fuck, she's taking me so, so fucking deep now. I won't even have a whisper in my head to distinguish between what's really me and what she puts inside my perfectly vacant brain. Maybe she'll take away my intellect permanently.

Maybe she'll take it further than that. I've seen those pet girls in pictures and videos, the ones who wear kitty ears and anal plugs with tails sticking out and who only communicate in barks or meows or whimpers. Maybe I'll wake up not knowing I was ever a person at all. She could put me in a kennel, feed me from a bowl and take me out for walks in the backyard, and I'll forget I was ever anything but her good little pet. Fuck that's so hot f-fuck fuck fuck fuck f-f-fuck--

I just came. The realization stirs me ever so slightly from the fog of tranquil confusion clouding my thoughts, and I realize I've had three fingers jammed into my sloshing pussy for... for... fuck, I don't know how long. I don't know what Maisie's been saying to me. I don't remember what was in the text that just flashed across the screen a moment ago. I, uhhh... I'm losing track of, of stuff. It's working. I'm going, um. Blank.

I, um--that doesn't worry me. I trust Maisie completely, and anyway she's recording all this so I can watch it later and see what I look like when I'm totally blank and empty for her. Unless... unless this isn't the first time I've done this. Unless she's programmed me to believe I've never been so thoroughly hypnotized that even my memories are malleable, and she keeps tricking me again and again to stare at the swirling lights until my mind empties out and brainwashes me to do things I never agreed to do. I know that's not true, I know that's just another one of my truly perverted fantasies, but it makes me cum so hard my eyes roll back for a moment until only the whites show before I refocus on the pretty lights in the center of the screen.

F-fuck it's so good. So good to be a brainwashed slave. So good to be so blank, blank and empty. I'm cumming almost non-stop now, the heat of being truly hollowed out into a mindless sex toy for Mistress so intense and profound that I can't figure out how to escape it anymore. And the orgasms, they... they push out more and more of my thoughts, and I almost realize that Maisie's voice is in my ears telling me that but then another climax hits and I can't remember what I was thinking about just a second ago, and I just--it just--fuck. Fuck. Fuuuckkkkk.

I'm not seeing the colors anymore. My eyes keep rolling back in my head now, showing me nothing but darkness with a glimmering band of indistinguishable light near the bottom, and I know what my last thought is because it's me looking forward to waking up and watching the tapes and seeing myself with nothing but the whites showing beneath my fluttering eyelids as I look exactly like the perfect brainwashed hypnoslut I've been craving to be all this time. I'm picturing that image in my head. I'm picturing Maisie finger me from behind as I crouch there and stare at myself, sinking into trance in sympathy with the obedient fucktoy on the screen. Maisie's going to hypnotize me with me, and it's going to work because I'm never going to be able to resist her again.

I lose myself in that image of perfect recursive trance, my mind going blank as my mind goes blank as my mind goes blank, and the starburst of pleasure between my legs becomes a perpetual orgasm as I stop thinking entirely. I'm just lost there, lost in ecstasy, lost in that last tiny flicker of awareness that I've never been so deeply hypnotized in my entire life and I never knew how wonderful it could feel and every sexual fantasy I'm ever going to have from now on is about this moment. This last moment. This very last moment of awareness of my awareness as I slip down the rabbit hole and my head slumps forward into truly vacant obedience.

I don't know what happens next. I'm never, ever going to know what happens between that final moment of ultimate surrender and the sound of snapping fingers in my ears waking me up. All I know is that when I return to consciousness, Maisie is there and I can't imagine loving her any more fiercely than I do in that instant and I know, in a way I didn't expect to, that it's not because of anything she did to my head while I was under. It's because she gave me this wonderful gift and cared for me when I was at my most vulnerable. And I can't express how beautiful that is.

It makes me cry a little. That makes her cry a little. And we take some time to cuddle each other and process the special intimacy of the moment before we get down to the hot, nasty sex we both want so very much.

THE END