Dedicated to tabletop gamers everywhere. Please leave the misogyny to fantasy, and help make your gaming circles welcoming and inclusive to all.
*****
"C'mon, Jule, you've got to come," whined Julie's boyfriend of eight years, Isaac, hovering in the doorway of their condo's small, well-maintained bathroom.
"No way," Julie responded flatly, as she carefully applied a new bronze eyeshadow to her left lid. Next up was to decide what shade of eyeliner to add to it to really make her eyes pop.
Except that Isaac was still talking. "You haven't made it to one Ladies' Game Night since they started. You said last week that you'd try to come to this one!"
Had she? "Isaac, that wasn't, like, an ironclad promise or anything. Jenna invited me out to see this band she likes that's playing at the Venture, and I want to go." Eyeshadow now applied, Julie took a moment to check her hair again - dark, wavy, and currently styled in a bob that took more careful effort than it appeared.
"You go out with your friends all the
time
."
"You go out to play your miniature games and stuff all the time, too!"
Isaac crossed his arms. "I went with you to Sophea's birthday party last month."
This was true. Jenna and Sophea had been pestering Julie about how they never saw Isaac anymore. Julie was almost certain that they did not miss his geeky, awkward company, and that this was their subtle way of probing Julie about the health of her relationship. She knew that they talked behind her back, wondering why she and Isaac hadn't even got engaged after eight years of officially dating, five of co-habitation.
She'd dragged Isaac off of his skinny ass and brought him to the party, with the result that he'd gone off on a twenty-minute rant to Sophea's athletic, politely bemused boyfriend about some new Warhammer army he was painting, then complained to Julie the whole car ride back about how parties were boring and there was nothing to do except make small-talk and get drunk.
"So you owe me one," Isaac continued. There had been a lot of keeping score in their relationship lately. For the last year or two, at least. Or three.
"Guess I'll have to keep owing you."
"C'mon, it's important! They host this game night so couples like us can share our hobbies and stuff. It'll be a lot of newbie-friendly games, I promise. And there'll be plenty of other girls there."
"Isaac, leave it, okay? I've tried your games lots of times, and I just don't like them." That'd been years ago, when they'd just met and Isaac's hobbies had seemed playful and cute. Looking back, her memories of sitting in on roleplaying game sessions and interminable, evening-long board games were not fond ones.
"Look," he pressured, "what time's this band on, anyway? Like nine o'clock? Game night starts at seven, so come play for an hour and then if you really want to, you can take the car and go meet Jenna before it starts. I'll bus back."
It was clear that Isaac was not going to shut up about this. Julie snapped her makeup case closed with, perhaps, a little too much force. "Fine, I'll come with you for one fucking hour, okay? Then I'm taking off."
Isaac smiled broadly, looking satisfied. "Sure. If you still want to."
*****
They found street parking and walked the last two blocks through the crisp August air, Isaac striding along with a small padded case of miniatures swinging from one hand, and Julie hurrying to keep up on her heels. They were admittedly low, but still not designed for frigging
hiking
.
Julie had been torn about what to wear. She'd be meeting Jenna at a bar later and wanted to look good for her girls' night out, but the idea of hanging out at Isaac's nerdy game club all dolled up made her skin crawl. She'd met herself halfway, wearing nicely-fit jeans rather than the skirt she'd been intending. They showed off her curves... she was thin and on the short side, but still had a nicely rounded butt... without being too sexual. And up top, a low-cut white blouse that always drew men's eyes down between her shapely breasts... but over
that
, a light, brown jacket. Zipped all the way up. And that jacket was staying the hell on until she got to the Venture.
They reached the entrance to the Counterfactual Historical Wargaming Society, an unassuming door between two ground-floor businesses (laundromat and paint shop), that led directly up a narrow staircase to the second floor. Apparently the group had been in this space for fifty years. The name used to be appropriate, since the group was formed by what Isaac called "grognards," old white dudes into historical wargames, like reenacting the Battle of Waterloo on a sand table or whatever. Since then, the focus had shifted almost entirely towards fantasy games, RPGs, and European board games. Julie hated that she knew this information by heart.
Julie had dropped off or picked up Isaac nearby on various occasions, but never been inside. It was bigger than she'd imagined, although that wasn't saying too much, since she'd pictured some sort of tiny bunker dominated by a single large table and the body odor of its occupants. Once up the stairs, a short hall split off into three main rooms filled with tables of various sizes, each visible through large glass windows; there was also a bathroom, the door propped open with a brick. A single grungy-looking toilet and a sink. Wonderful. Banners that read "Welcome to Ladies' Night" hung prominently on the back walls of each room, partially covering posters of men with extremely large pauldrons shooting or stabbing a variety of unlikely-looking beasts.
They were a little late, in part because of Julie's clothing deliberations, and the event was in full swing. People were grouped up, intensely focused on boards, cards, tiny landscapes. Julie saw that the demographics had not shifted much from the grognard days. Still a lot of middle-aged white guys. (Julie was 29 and still young, thank you very much; and her skin was a smooth, pleasant mocha, an inheritance from her father.) On average, these guys took up some space and so did their beards, though Julie saw a few examples of Isaac's type of stick-thin nerd as well.
As promised, however, there were almost an equal number of females present. Young, attractive women, in fact - there were quite a few fresh college-age types, and the rest didn't look that much older at a glance. Julie suspected that she was on the upper end. Nor were they just dressed in geeky t-shirts - they were wearing their own dresses, blouses, and cute tops as they pushed counters around on the tables.
"They're all those guys's... girlfriends?" Julie asked dubiously, as she and Isaac hovered in the hall and scoped out the scene.
"Nah, not always," boomed a cheerful voice, as Cliff bore down upon them. He was tall, somewhat muscled for an older guy with greying hair. "Daughters, sisters, friends, co-workers, you name it. We're just trying to get some of the fairer sex in here." He winked at them.
Julie had met Cliff before - Isaac had had him and a few others over to their place for games when the CHWS had been unavailable for some reason. They'd set themselves up in the dining room, and Julie remembered feeling Cliff's eyes on her every time she dipped in and out of the kitchen for various errands.
"Hey, Cliff," greeted Isaac.
"Glad you two could finally make it this month," Cliff continued. "We've been telling Isaac how he
really
needed to come to Ladies' Game Night."
"You've never been?" questioned Julie. Isaac spent enough time here, she was surprised there was anything he missed.
"No," said Isaac. "You're not allowed to come without a..." He hesitated, searching for a word.
"Guest." Cliff finished. "Wouldn't be fair to have the place filled mostly with guys trying to leer at a handful of ladies, eh?" He handed them each a bottle of water, which Julie shoved in her purse, and name tags, which were already filled out. Julie's had not only her own name, but also Isaac's in parenthesis underneath.
"Jeez, it's like you own me or something," Julie commented witheringly. Nevertheless, she slapped it on her coat immediately, hoping to leave Cliff's company ASAP.
"Nah," Cliff responded calmly, his big smile still in place. "Tonight we all get to share the pleasure of your company." Another wink. "Now let's find you a game."
Julie checked the time on her phone. She'd been there three minutes. Fifty-seven to go.
*****
Cliff led them into the largest game room, and directed them to a table where two other players were setting up a playing area, arranging the board and various carefully-placed markers and piles of counters. It was apparently the only game that hadn't started yet.
Isaac and Julie introduced themselves as they sat down. Their fellow players were Kylie, a trim, peppy young brunette dressed in a tank top and jean shorts, and Johan, who had about twenty-five years and 200 pounds on her. They introduced themselves as "friends." Julie had many questions, but decided to swallow them.
The game was called Small World, and reminded Julie of Risk, a game she'd been roped into playing long ago as an "introduction to wargames." Presumably as a test to see if the prospective wargamer could endure the tedium. This one was slightly better, with each player taking on waves of fantasy creatures conquering a brightly-colored fantasy land.
It was actually interesting enough. The major irritation was that this was one of those games where there was no hidden information, and the resources you had were open for everyone to see. And Johan would not stop giving suggestions.
"You should come in on the upper-right corner," he'd point out to Kylie. "That way you can grab those two plains and have a chance of taking the mountain at the end of your turn."
"I didn't see that!" Kylie exclaimed. "You're so smart, Johan!" Then she'd look up at him with a disproportionate amount of impressed gratitude, and do whatever he suggested. He might as well have been playing for both of them.
Johan didn't hold back his advice on Julie's turns, either. By the fourth round of the game, her patience was frayed past the point of being polite. As soon as the words "You know, you could..." passed Johan's lips, Julie snapped back "You know, you could shove it up your ass."
Isaac glared at her, but Johan only gave a slight smile and gave Julie an appraising look. Kylie piped up. "He's only trying to be nice! You know, a lot of us girls have trouble keeping all the rules straight and stuff, so the guys try to help us out."
"You've come before, then?" Julie asked, dryly.
"I come every Ladies' Game Night," Kylie chirped. "Sometimes more than once!" She giggled.
What? That didn't make any sense to Julie. But then, Kylie didn't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Whatever.
