It all began in my job as a psychotherapist and had numerous women come and see me with complaints of headaches and talk of demanding husbands always wanting sex, that the women did not want to provide. The story was almost always the same, to the same neat pattern.
The women would explain that when they met their husbands, when they were younger, usually in their late twenties, that they had numerous lovers to choose from, and they would either choose the most attractive "hunk" or the best provider. In each case, after marriage of a few years, they would eventually find that their husbands would start to behave selfishly and take them for granted. Then there would be the unwelcome demands for sex which would be inevitably refused. Sexually frustrated husbands would then argue and make further demands, driving the women further away.
Yet, during the intimate talks that intense psychotherapy provides, these same women would admit to quite sexual and even perverse fantasies. These were fantasies of being taken and used, fantasies of sucking cocks of complete strangers in dark clubs and corridors, fantasies of being blindfolded and tied to the bed by their husbands and strange unknown lips kissing and caressing them all over, making them orgasm repeatedly as the stranger/s whispered into their ears how sexy and desirable they looked. Fantasies of anonymous gifts from strangers and of flowers arriving on their work desks from secret admirers; fantasies of being made love to gently by soft, yet dominant men in small groups who would touch them all over stroke their cocks in the girls faces ejaculating all over their breasts while the woman writhed in orgasmic bliss. Yet almost none of these women felt brave enough or game enough to seek out or live out these fantasies.
It began to become such a pattern that I felt further research into the psychology of women was justified. I found numerous online articles and some research into sexual behaviour. I also re-read Sex at Dawn -- on the evolution of human sexuality -- and it started me thinking.
One of the most pronounced and incredible findings that I made, through my psychotherapy sessions with my patients, was that these women, whose husbands complained were basically frigid, or pre-menopausal, would, once divorced, immediately find satisfying and overwhelmingly sensational sex with the first lover they had. Or they would have several lovers at a time and, in what seemed like a reaction to the fear of being perceived a slut that they would marry again quite quickly with Mr. 'best provider', or Mr. 'soul buddy'.
They would marry a type of man who would definitely NOT allow or encourage these women to continue to seek or enjoy these sexual fantasies. It was as if the girls feared losing control and becoming more wanton and slutty.
So I began to think that there is something primal in many, if not all, women and girls that pushes them towards experiences where they can enjoy multiple partners and multiple orgasms -- just like their fantasies. Then they seem to get an attack of moral outrage at their own behaviour and reel themselves back from the brink of carnality.
In further readings of evolution and prehistory I was hugely surprised to find that marriage was actually an invention of men, set in place to control the lascivious nature of women, that civilisations like the ancient Babylonians understood this darker side in women. The city arranged that all wives and girlfriends had to spend some months as prostitutes in the temple to satisfy their wild mating urges, every few years. The husbands, it was rumoured, had not complaints -- they could fuck whichever other wife they liked during her "working months" and their own wives would come home glowing and horny -- or pregnant.
I read that in primitive societies polygamy was more common that not. Another strange but related fact is that the male penis is of a shape to pump the sperm of competing males out of a vagina. Finally, that the female orgasm only seems to happen after extended or multiple couplings. All these primal facts were consistent only if natural female behaviour was wild and sex-crazed. Or perhaps their were many multiple gang-bang rapes in primitive times. Yet other primate behaviour suggested that female chimps and bonobos do not experience rape -- in fact -- they actively pursue male partners -- as many as possible, during their reproductive time.
Was there a wild female sexual beast, held just under control, beneath the surface of a tissue of fabrications and social conventions? Generally it was mothers and grandmothers (post-reproductive females?) who started girls down this path of guilt and that began them on the path to "insanity", driven one way by their primal urges and another by familial and societal expectations, creating a huge internal psychological rift, technically known as cognitive dissonance, with two forces pulling in opposite directions; one pulling in the direction of uninhibited sexual abandon and the other in the direction of an artificial morality.
Girls and women control other girls by calling them sluts, whores, jezebels and other derogatory names to keep their natural inclinations in check by social conventions and mores. It was only the strippers and whores who had broken free, exploring their natural tendencies. Somehow I had to prove my theory.
I began to understand that if this was a true primal urge in most women and that society and women themselves are secretly aware that this urge needs to be suppressed, then it may be the cause of great sexual frustration that leads to the fantasies that were so commonly admitted to. Regular relationship sex did not do anything to 'get the juices flowing' so to speak or to calm these urges. There is nothing risky or taboo or out of control about "normal vanilla sex". The very things required to get women excited are simply not available in most relationships.
So I began to formulate a radical form of therapy to save the marriages and families of these women, to prevent the inevitable divorces that happen so often.
