Emily leaned back and looked up at me, a mischievous smile on her lips, "You think so?"
I was immediately doubting it. Who the fuck was I kidding? One look and I was already nearly giving in. She hadn't even said anything yet. God, her voice was just too powerful. I didn't stand a shot.
Still I decided to try my best to resist her. "Yeah, I think I can." The words almost caught in my throat. I had trouble even saying it. "Let's try it."
"Ok, what do you want, Dev?"
I thought about it. "Why don't we go out tonight? We can have some drinks, stay out all night. You know, really let loose." I tried to state this as confidently as I could and I steeled myself to hold firm.
"I don't know, Dev," she said, "I'm already feeling done for the day. What about next weekend?"
Em's voice was flat and relaxed. I knew she was trying to lob me a softball to give me a chance. When she wanted to, Emily had a tone of voice that would have me on my knees and obeying her even before I realized what had happened. She rarely used that tone, but when she did I fell over myself to obey her. Even with her taking it easy on me I felt my throat constrict as I tried to disagree with her. She could see it too. I was practically sweating from the effort of holding onto the dream of a wild night out.
"Let's go, uh, let's go and..." I stammered. I couldn't make myself say it. It was the combination of her eyes and her scent and the way she smiled. That's all that filled my head. Her eyes on me. Her voice in my ear. I just wanted to say whatever words in whatever order that would make her happy.
"Babe, it's ok," Emily reassured me.
"Let's go and make ourselves comfortable on the couch!" I blurted out. "We can put on a movie. Order a pizza. I can rub your feet!" It all came out as a submissive avalanche. I felt so pathetic. I was also undeniably turned on that she could twist my mind up like a pretzel even when she was trying not to.
Emily patted my hand to console me. "It's ok. You tried. We both knew that wouldn't work."
I nodded in frustration. She reached behind my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. I kissed her deeply. I was filled with this overwhelming feeling of love for her. She really was so good to me. I didn't deserve her. She was trying so hard to accommodate my desires even when it was basically impossible.
Emily pulled back from the kiss. "Devon, what if I'm the problem?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like, what if I'm not here looking at you and telling you what I want? What if that's just too overwhelming?"
"Maybe. What should we do instead?"
"What if I write down what I want on a piece of paper? Or I text it to you? Maybe it's being in the same room with me that causes it."
"It's worth a shot," I said. I actually felt pretty hopeful. It would be a huge pain in the ass to have all of our arguments via text, but at least it would allow for a more normal balance of power in the relationship.
"Ok so next time we're apart I'll text you and have you do something you would never do. You just need to try your hardest to disobey, ok?"
I nodded, trying to project confidence I didn't feel. "I think this could work."
Emily patted my chest consolingly, "You better hope so, Babe." Then she turned to leave the room.
My stomach dropped. "Uh, why should I hope so? Babe, what are you going to text me?"
"Doesn't matter, does it? Like you said, you think this will work."
I was so fucked and I knew it. I hoped she couldn't tell how nervous I was every time I checked my phone. She was content to let me sweat it out a bit though because she didn't end up testing my resolve until the next afternoon. She told me she was going out to lunch with some friends and then they would hit up a few stores. I tried to feign nonchalance as I kissed her goodbye, but the moment she was out the door I started pacing. I was bracing myself for the text, but minutes turned into hours and it never came.
I didn't know why this test was making my heart race. Emily had been controlling my mind with commands and suggestions for months. I was fine with it. Ultimately, I was either not going to be able to resist, in which case we would be back at square one, or I would and we would have an avenue of communication like a normal couple. Still this command felt different. I was going to have to try as hard as I could to resist and I was really doubting my chances. If Emily could do this over text and from far away without the influence of her eyes and voice overpowering me, it was completely hopeless. It would just be further proof of how completely, utterly devoted I was to her.
I couldn't pace all afternoon. I needed to do something to get my mind off Emily. Outside the window I noticed that the grass was looking a little on the long side. It was probably due to be mowed. At the very least, it would get me out of the house for an hour and give me a reason to stop checking my phone for a text that may or may not be coming. It was entirely possible Emily was planning on making me wait days or even weeks in the hopes of catching me off guard. If that was what she was really planning to do, that would be torture, but there was nothing I could do about it.
I went out to the shed and pulled out the old push mower I kept running with duct tape and prayers every summer. It started up after the usual half-dozen yanks on the cable. As I began to carve lines up and down the lawn, the rhythm of the work relaxed me. The hot, afternoon sun beat down on my shoulders. Before long I knew I was sweating through my clothes.
I had been mowing for a while and was nearly finished when I felt my phone buzz. I had forgotten that I was expecting the text from Emily. With my heart pounding in my chest, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. There was one message from Emily.
My heart nearly stopped. The message was a selfie from her. In the photo, Emily was standing in a dressing room wearing a pair of jeans. In the mirror, I could see how great they made her ass look and I could also see that she had nothing else on. Right after the picture, she said, "What do you think?"
"What a fucking tease," was my first thought. She had to know I was dying of anticipation. But god, how could I be mad? She was so fucking gorgeous. My beautiful, blonde haired, blue-eyed goddess. I quickly tapped out a response that hopefully would not let on how nervous I had been to open the text, "Wow, you look incredible. Do you need help taking those off later?"
I stuffed my phone back in my pocket. There was just a little of the lawn left to mow. I could get that last section real quick and then head inside for a shower. As I started up the mower again, the neighbor across the street was just walking outside towards his mailbox. He shot up a friendly wave, which I returned and then began pushing the lawn mower for the last few passes.
I hadn't even finished that pass when I felt my phone vibrate again. My stomach dropped. Before I knew what I was doing I had my phone in my hand and swiped past the lock screen. There was a new message from Em waiting for me. It said: "Good idea, Babe. I want you to get on your hands and knees and crawl to our bedroom. I'll be home soon."
My knees hit the ground before I had even finished reading the text. I immediately started to crawl inside, leaving my phone abandoned in the grass. I only hoped the neighbor across the street had gone inside and that he didn't see me like this and decide to come check on me. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the thought. I clamped my eyes shut. I needed to focus. Once again I had folded in an instant. I needed to try to fight this. Emily wasn't even in the room with me this time. She was miles away. She hadn't commanded me with her voice or looked at me with her hypnotic eyes. All she had done was text me a simple desire. Not even really a command, just her wishes. I had still obeyed her.
With my eyes closed I tried to will my hand to stop moving. I needed to stop crawling. I needed to prove this was possible, even if it was more difficult than I would have believed. I knew Emily was powerful and irresistible, but I hadn't really thought she could do this to me. I had thought it was her presence that was intoxicating, but it wasn't that, it was just the idea of her. Maybe she really was an actual goddess or something, because this was crazy.
I used every ounce of willpower to just stop my hand from moving. I needed it to pause for a moment. Just for a second. Even that small victory would be something. And for a second it seemed like maybe I did stop it. Was it just my imagination or did it slow down? Whether it did or not, I don't know, but it doesn't matter because nothing I could do would actually stop my body from crawling when Emily told me to crawl. I gave up fighting and scampered on my hands and knees inside the house and up to our bedroom like an obedient puppy.
It wasn't until I was kneeling at the foot of our bed in the dark, covered in dirt, sweat, and grass clippings that it really settled in just how thoroughly whipped I was. Maybe the most whipped man in all of history, on his hands and knees waiting for his girlfriend to get home and give him permission to move. I was humiliated and turned on. It was getting difficult to tell those feelings apart some days. While I waited for her, I had some time to think. All I knew was that no matter what this new development meant, I needed Emily. She was all I wanted. I wanted to feel her body and see her smile and hear her laugh. These circumstances were unbelievable and a confusing turn on, but my love for her was real and there was so much of it. Emily was sweet and kind and caring towards me, even through all this. I never once doubted that she wanted what was best for me and I trusted her to give it to me. I thought that maybe having my life held in the palm of her hand was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn't imagine being in better hands.
It wasn't long before Emily came home and found me kneeling at the foot of our bed, dirty and disheveled from yard work. I felt so embarrassed I couldn't look up at her. "Alright, Babe, you can get up." There was a teasing, overly pleased tone to her voice. It was the sound of someone who had just decisively won a bet.
I pulled myself up to stand and as soon as I did Emily wrapped both arms around my neck in a tight embrace. She was halfway to kissing me, when she paused and looked me up and down. "Why are you so filthy, Dev?"
