Let me start by saying I love my wife.
Ashley and I had been married for about a year, which seemed concerning to most, considering I was 22 and she was 19. We were both young, but I was making tremendous money in the trades, and she was doing great in school.
And besides, she's a quadruplet, and two of her other sisters were also getting married.
Chantelle married her high school boyfriend, John, while Michelle ran off to Vegas with someone named Toby she met freshman year of university and never looked back. It's not that their Mom or Dad, Cheryl and Bill, minded. They loved us, and Bill and I especially got along.
Besides, they also had a bigger problem to worry about.
Katherine.
She was considered the youngest of the Branch family, and boy, was she treated like it. In her defense, her sisters, my lovely wife included, acted like she was a spoiled brat all of the time.
Maybe there was something Ashley hadn't told me, but that was not the vibe I got from Katherine at all.
Instead, she was just a girl that had the worst luck with men and had no idea what she was going to do with her life.
"She'll never settle down," Ashley told me during pillow talk one night. "And she'll never grow up."
"I think she'll prove you wrong one day," I told her as she rolled her beautiful brown eyes. "Oh, come on, she's your sister."
"Exactly. I've known her longer than you have, Cody," she cracked. "I know she'll never change."
She pulled the string on the lamp and the bedroom went dark. Strike three, I was out.
For the second month in a row.
As I laid awake for hours and my wife snored beside me, I decided it was time to take my sheep counting downstairs.
The main floor was illuminated by moonlight, which helped guide me to the kitchen and towards our water cooler. I checked my phone as I poured my water into a glass.
On the active Facebook friends list, Katherine's name and picture appeared.
As beautiful as my wife is, I always thought Katherine had the potential to be hotter. Ashley's firm, round breasts paired with her toned ass made her any straight-man's wet dream in workout clothes, but her resting bitch face and her scowl made her nearly unapproachable. The only reason I got a shot with her is because I could make her laugh. It also helped I was a fairly fit individual, which I was reminded of, often, by Ashley.
And from time to time, Katherine. Her body was flatter than Ashley's. Thin, moreso because her metabolism allowed her to eat anything and not gain weight. Ashley, meanwhile, dreaded her birthday, because cake would make her gain "a whole three pounds."
I sent the youngest Branch sister a message. "Why are you up?"
I sipped my water as I waited for a reply, and walked over to the living room. I flopped onto the leather sofa and turned on TV, and immediately muted it. I didn't want it to wake up Ashley, or I'd hear about it.
Buzz.
"I could ask you the same thing. Ashley can't keep making you wait, can she?" Katherine sent with a laughing emoji. She hasn't been able to let it go since it got out that Ashley and I hadn't had sex in a while the last time we all hung out together.
"Very funny," I replied. "Seriously, you okay?"
The three dots appeared and disappeared. I watched the muted TV as SportsCenter aired a repeat from the night that was. Just as the highlights from the Hawks-Bucks game came on, my phone buzzed softly.
"I'm kinda feeling lost," my sister-in-law typed. "My sisters are doing so well in life, but I am just lost, stuck in neutral, it seems."
I sighed and rubbed my brow. I knew what she meant, having been there at age 20 myself, just before I met Ashley.
I scrolled social media, waiting for words of wisdom to come to mind. My thumbs stumbled upon an ad for a product that I didn't think was possible.
"Change anyone to anything, simple!"
This can't be THAT simple...
I thought as I opened the link. It led me to a website promoting various behavioral therapy techniques. Some products offered quick fixes, while others offered long term, slow burn corrections.
I scrolled, reading, fascinated with what I read. This site seemed too good to be true, but as I read testimonial after testimonial, it became apparent this was a little-known godsend.
The products promised to eliminate smoking habits, take control of laziness, boost confidence, and even assist with weight loss.
But then, I found the kicker.
"Increase sex drive."
And then, another.
"Make women your ideal body type."
I'm sorry, what?
Another buzz.
"Anyway, I'm going to bed. Night." Katherine texted.
I replied. "Everything will work out, trust me." I returned to the site and read some more.
===
My alarm eventually woke me up on the couch. I heard water running upstairs, meaning Ashley beat me to the shower. It didn't bother me as I instinctively proceeded to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.
As the coffee perked in the old school pot, I opened up my phone, and it was still on that site from the night before, looking at this company that promised so much.
There's no way,
I thought. It's like the site read my mind, as a pop-up ad appeared.
"Have doubts? Have questions? We'll answer both! Book a call today!"
For my sake of mind, I figured it was worth a shot. I typed in my information and hit submit, and thought nothing else of it as I tucked my phone back into my pyjama bottoms pocket.
Ashley made her way downstairs wearing a purple sports bra and black leggings. Her brown hair with blonde streaks waved in a ponytail behind her head, and a matching purple headband rested over her hairline.
"You're either up early, or you didn't sleep," Ashley joked.
"Both incorrect, I fell asleep watching TV," I explained as I poured her a to-go mug. It was Friday, meaning she was on her way to yoga before her university class.
She smiled and gave me a kiss. "I'm sorry about last night. I just don't want you to be disappointed when my sister inevitably falls flat on her face again. She's just one of those people."
I smiled back, holding her tanned waist. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Ashy," I kissed her nose, causing her to giggle. "I just like to see the best in people, that's all."