There are two little-known secrets about the human body and pharmacology. One, many if not most of the major breakthroughs in the pharmaceuticals industry are actually accidents. Two, many if not most of our moods and feelings are based on chemical reactions within our body. Some are when our body excretes a particular chemical into our blood stream like adrenaline or dopamine. Others are when we take drugs that alter our chemical composition such as depression drugs. More on this later.
My name is Kevin Shaw and I'm a Level III Pharmacology Researcher with Alton Laboratories. It sounds like quite the title I know, but really, I'm the one who decided to get a Masters in Chemistry and found a job at a drug company. I get to do some of the routine work that happens whenever we are testing a new drug. I run tests, wait for results, and then write up a report. Most of my job is watching colors change, things grow, things die, or injecting mice with compounds.
I have worked here for about three years and jumped from project to project. Alton Labs is a major drug company and they manufacture everything from vitamins to cancer drugs to erectile dysfunction drugs. One thing that surprises me is that many of the projects don't actually have a goal in mind. Rather they are just experimenting with various drug combinations to see what they do. There are dozens of stories about how a drug we use today was actually being designed for a completely other purpose.
The current project I'm working on is Project Cookie. We are testing a new weight loss drug that is supposed to trick your body into fighting fat as if it were an infection. It has its dangers such as a high fever and severe clotting, but so far, the results seem intriguing.
One night, I'm going through a routine set of trials where we inject mice with a variation of the compound and then compare them over a set time to control mice that were not injected. The mice need to be watched constantly and we work in shifts. I was the unlucky one to get the night shift. The night shift isn't the worst thing but it is incredibly boring. I know, you are thinking that I can just kick back and watch TV or play games, but really I can't. One guy did that and missed some reactions and caused a drug to be classified as safe when it caused severe negative reactions in 10% of the population.
It was time for my shift and I walked into the locker room and found my friends Jake, Sarah, and Robert. They were just finishing the evening shift and were putting their coats back into their lockers. Jake and Robert I knew from college and we all started here at the same time. Sarah started a few months ago and she was definitely the hot one of the department. All three of us hit on her all the time and she really ate it up. She was about 5' 5", 110 pounds, C-size breasts, long blonde hair and just gorgeous!
"Hey guys. What's up?" I said walking in and opening my locker.
"Hey Kevin...got the night shift tonight?" Jake asked as he stared at Sarah's chest.
"No. I just love it here I decided to give up my apartment and live here. It is so cozy!" I mocked Jake's lame and obvious question. Sarah smiled at me and then looked up to see Jake staring at her chest.
"You know Jake, if you stare long enough, they start to grow right before your eyes."
"Right on!" Jake responded as he leaned in towards her perky breasts covered tightly with her sweater.
"Well, you guys have fun with that. I have to get to the lab."
"See you Kevin!" Sarah said and she waived.
I walked into the lab to see only a few remaining techs from the evening shift. I started up my set of trials and I had 25 compounds to test. The idea is that we generate combinations of the compound in question with everything we can think of, then test, and retest to see if there are any statistical reactions. I know...boring. I injected four test mice with each serum and sat there for hours watching the mice for any unusual activity and as you may expect, there wasn't any. They are mice. They walk around, sleep, drink, eat, poop, and if they are adventurous, they may take a stroll on their wheel.
About two hours into my shift, I started to notice some odd behavior. Well...not odd, but unusual for mice. I started to notice that all the mice injected with serum 14518k started to have sex. I mean all of them! The control mice and mice from other serums simply did mice-like things. The test mice were all on top of each other and going at it. I took notes and they were really enjoying themselves. For several hours, all they did was fuck. I noticed that the males seemed to go forever. They would fuck the female and then fuck her again and again and again.
After a few hours, they all calmed down and went back to their normal routines. It was as if nothing happened. I had to say I was astonished. It doesn't seem that this drug is going to help them lose fat unless they are burning it off through strenuous exercise. I took my notes, wrote up my report, and turned it in at the end of my shift. I did consider just keeping it to myself. I had to say I would love to inject Sarah with some of that stuff, but I knew that it dangerous. It could kill her and I could go to jail. I wasn't going to have any of that.
The next day, my lab supervisor asked me about my report and we reviewed the tapes. We pulled the report of what composed serum 14518k and found that it was the testing compound mixed with some vitamin E, D, and K compounds, along with some trace minerals. Nothing seemed extraordinary. We decided to carry on with normal testing and that means that whenever we get an unusual reaction, we perform the test again for about a week to see if the reaction occurs again.
I performed the test again each night that week on the mice. Like clockwork, they performed as expected. My supervisor decided to expand the testing and then classified serum 14518k as a new compound. He called in Jake and we started to work on it together.
Jake and I worked on Project Lemon, the new name for serum 14518k, for the next several months. We performed a natural progression of testing. Any variation of the compound didn't produce any results. It was fascinating if you ask me. Even slight variations of the combinations would ruin the results.
"Man, this stuff is pretty cool. It makes these little guys just fuck their brains out" Jake said as he stared at the cages.
"No kidding. I'm surprised they don't get hurt but they just fuck for hours and then they are done."
"Don't you wish we could give some of this to Sarah? Man, I could fuck her for hours!" Jake said as he stared at Sarah's ass in the next room.
"Whatever man. It would be cool until she dies from some weird reaction."
We continued our testing and results were looking great. The mice were consistently getting results and there were no negative side effects. That is unless you consider pregnancy a side effect. I wouldn't, but it naturally comes with fucking for three hours.
We all felt like we found the new Viagra. The only ones who knew about this were Jake, our supervisor, and me. It was normal for us to keep our projects to ourselves. Not to mention that there were thousands of projects going on so nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Our testing finally progressed through the normal trial methods and after about a year, we reached a point of actually testing on humans. This was something we were waiting for.
We have a normal flow of people willing to submit themselves to testing for cash. Everything was safe, but there is always chance that something could react differently in a human or particular human than in an animal. After all, that is why we call them tests.
We found a small group of people who were selected for our testing. We needed younger people with no history of cardiac problems, good health, physically fit, and no STDs or HIV. We also had to tell them that they were going to take a drug that could make them sexually aroused and more willing to have sex. It doesn't taint the results because we do blind study with a control group with sugar pills so they don't know if they are getting the drug or not.
