The following was requested by totesanalt and therefore I cannot claim that the original idea was mine. Posted here with their permission.
***
I opened the door and there was Connor. "Hey Janet. Is Winnie home?"
I groaned. My roommate's four-week romance with Connor could best be summed up in a series of loser moves on his part. Pestering her for a date like a friendly puppy? Loser. Being so poor that he expected her to go dutch? Loser. Not treating her a princess like he ought to? Loser.
Leaving her alone with Dwight 'The Chadmaster' Davis right after he'd abandoned her at a party due to some 'family emergency' bullshit? Well
that
had turned out to be the biggest loser move of all.
I smiled at Connor in a way that that communicated that he wasn't welcome and that he should vacate the premises immediately. Connor, though, was apparently an idiot as well as a loser. "Is she home?" he repeated. There was a gleam in his eye that was completely at odds with the way he'd been spectacularly dumped. He gripped something in one of his hands; a poker chip, battered and scarred, with the red-and-blue colouring faded from age. His fingers rubbed it's faded sides.
I frowned, adding 'weirdo' to the list of descriptions I had filed away for Connor. "She isn't here. And even if she was, she doesn't want to see you."
His lips pursed into a petulant frown. "When is she coming back?"
I kept that 'fuck off' smile on my face even as irritation flared inside. "I wouldn't bother. Winnie's dumped you for a
real
man. Didn't you get the memo?" It had actually been a pic sent via WhatsApp of her being cuddled topless by Dwight- taken by yours truly- but never mind. "Now would you kindly go back to your parent's basement where you belong?"
His face crumpled a little under my cheerful aura of contempt. Harsh, but once he knew his place it would be better for him in the end. I turned away and moved to shut the door-
"I bet," he said suddenly, every word slow and uncertain, "that you won't invite me in."
I paused, the door halfway to closing. I frowned.
And then I turned around, sneering. "You think, what, that I wouldn't invite you in?" I laughed. "You think I'm
afraid
of you? Come on in then, little puppy." And with that I opened the door, one arm flung out wide in an exaggerated gesture of welcome.
The idiot stared at me and then down at that ugly-ass poker chip. He stepped into our lounge room as though expecting a trick. "Why did you let me in?"
"Because," I said, "I wanted to see the dazed expression on your face when I proved you wrong."
He nodded slowly and said, "You've always hated me, haven't you?"
I just smiled and shrugged. A second later he said, "I bet that you don't have the guts to tell me why you hate me and what you said to Winnie about me."
Easiest bet I ever took. "Fine," I said. "You really want to know? Yeah, I told Winnie that you were a loser."
"A loser?"
"Look, Winnie's like me. She deserves a winner, you know? Someone rich. Fit. Popular. Someone who can treat her right."
"Winnie didn't care about that stuff."
"Well, my girl Winnie's got some odd notions about romance. So I took her aside and explained to her that she was too hot and too popular to settle for a guy like you."
"You mean a
loser
like me." His eyes narrowed. "You introduced her to Dwight, didn't you? To break her up with me."
I said in my sweetest voice, "No hard feelings, right?"
"No hard feelings?" He closed his eyes and then gave a weird little laugh. "You're making this all too easy for me, you know?"
"What?"
"Nothing." He gripped the poker chip with a sudden intensity and said, "Janet. I bet that you won't show me your boobs."