The Beast
Okay, so here's what really upsets me. If a guy refers to some other guy as naïve, or innocent, or gullible; well, that's derogatory, right? There's no way any of that would be viewed in a good light personally. But if he's saying it about a girl... well, that's a whole different ballgame. Those traits in a woman... especially a pretty woman... turn men on; make them hard; make them aggressive; appeal to them.
I've had that problem my whole life. I'm too trusting, too quick to agree, too easily talked into things. I guess I learned from my many mistakes in judgment... but the price I paid for that knowledge was very, very high. Eventually, I became a recluse at the ripe old age of twenty-one... never trusting a man... or another woman, for that matter. Women tend to display a wee bit of jealousy around me. And I don't know why. I'm not a threat to them!
In all of my life, only one person has seen me for something other than a sex object or menace. Only one person has ever seen me for... me. And that, of course, was Riya. In high school, we were inseparable. But then she deserted me and left Baltimore for Cambridge. Oh, gosh, I was crushed. I ran right out and joined some new-fangled church... I guess it was really a cult. Riya saved me, actually dragging the sheriff, the FBI and a news crew out to the compound, threatening to charge them with kidnapping and plastering it all over the internet if they refused to let her take me home. I had been introduced to sex while I was with them, of course, along with some forms of "physical coercion" that they reserved for girls who tried to escape their clutches. But she saved me! And it wasn't the last time. There was another "cultish" church a year later... but I saw through their little act... after a couple of their "elders" had drugged and had their way with me. I swore off churches. Being lonely is better than THAT!
In college I was seduced by an assistant prof, and I even moved in with him for a week. It happened again with a student my senior year. The first little fling ended with a broken jaw (it STILL hurts a little if I chew tough food a certain way). And in the second case, the guy REALLY got rough. No broken bones that time, but I was in a coma for a few days. Riya came home (again), sat with me until I woke up, and then made me press charges, even though I kept telling her it was probably all my fault. (I told her that I should have KNOWN not to upset him while he was drunk. That's just the kind of person he is. Well, the kind of person he WAS. He's in jail now. He got off with probation in my case, but the next girl DID have broken bones.) Oh, man; I can pick 'em, can't I?
So anyway, after that, Riya and I made a pact. No dating. She had her studies, and I had... my little problem. And so, every Friday night... every single Friday... we got on the computer and video-conferenced. It's all I ever looked forward to in life. Period. She was all I had. She was my everything.
When she didn't finish the doctorate, I was absolutely floored. She'd published some academic paper, and evidently some dude saw it and wanted her to join "his team." And so, away she went... to North Friggin' Carolina! How could she DO that to me?! I was still stuck in the same auto distribution company office in Baltimore that I'd been in for three years. During an "economic downturn," my position as area research manager had been eliminated. They'd offered me a secretarial position as an "interim" spot until they could reinstate me to management. But when things got better, others were moved back up... that is to say, the MEN moved back up... but I did not. And every day was the same... the same parade of customers... the same sorts of guys, hounding me, asking me out, flirting. Riya and I still talked every week. I was happy for her. Really. She'd finally found a guy... someone she genuinely liked and respected. And loved. I saw it in her eyes, even on the video calls. My Riya was in love! But I was stuck. Alone.
And then, one day, out of the blue, she walked into the office. I squealed and hugged her, and I was so excited I couldn't stay still! We hadn't been together... really together... in eight months, since the last Christmas break period. The first thing she asked me was which office my boss worked in. And then she marched me right in.
"Hi there!" She said, smiling brightly. "Betty is quitting! Sorry for the short notice. She's had a better offer. You can keep her last paycheck!"
Mr. Morehead (who had made several passes at me over the past year... some of which were quite physical, despite his being married) protested rather vehemently. As a final bit of persuasion not to leave, he showed me a letter from the head of the company which offered to reinstate me to my former position. But when I noticed that it was dated nine months before, I got mad and started crying. And I allowed Riya to lead me out of there. Forever.
She had arranged for movers, she told me... for the next day! We went out that night and got drunk, and we talked and talked and talked. In my apartment, we shared the single bed... though we both wore nightgowns, of course. No hanky panky. We weren't "that way," though we each swore that we were "tolerant people." Oh, gosh, I was on cloud nine! Leaving Baltimore! Leaving my horrible "stuck" life! And once again, my savior was my best friend. We threw the entirety of my life's accumulations into seven large cardboard boxes (four of which contained only books). The movers came, and within thirty minutes, the apartment was empty. Only then did I realize that all the cleaning supplies... even the broom... had departed, and there was no way to clean. But she dragged me down to the super's apartment and struck a deal with him to clean it, counting out four one hundred dollar bills. And then she led me out to her little red sports car, and off we went!
It should have only been a five hour drive, but Washington traffic was horrid! We stopped at a motel in Fredericksburg that had a restaurant, and we split a bottle of wine and had hamburgers and French fries, and then we split a piece of Boston Cream Pie with coffee and Kahlua. She told me that her boy friend (who owned half the company!) had promised to hire me "in any capacity where I might fit." She'd already arranged for an apartment near one of the universities, and she said she would introduce me to people during a party on Friday... which was just two days away. There were lots of parties, she told me. This one was for a prospective customer... meaning a major computer manufacturing firm (in this case from Japan). And, there was to be an employee party the NEXT Friday.
When we arrived in the Durham area, she bought me an air mattress and some sheets, blankets and pillows, so I'd have a place to sleep in my new apartment before my stuff arrived. I was forced to admit that North Friggin' Carolina was a pretty place to live. There were more pines than there were in eastern Maryland; and lots of hardwoods, too. Everything was so green! That night, she introduced me to Tony, her boyfriend. Nice guy, though I was a little surprised to think of him as her "type." But the thing that convinced me that everything was going to be alright was how he treated her. He was obviously head over heels, and it cheered my heart to see her with someone that truly loved her. The day after that, I went in and did administrative stuff. You know... filling out forms, getting my security badge... things like that. I still didn't have a position to apply for, but Riya had let everyone know that that would be decided later. The people all seemed nice, but they were still pretty predictable around me... the guys flirted and the gals looked at me with a little mistrust in their eyes. Some things never change.
And that evening was the party at the big mansion for the client. It was nice the way Tony had it all set up. He had hired a bus that went all around the area and picked up the company people that needed to attend... you know, like the marketing folks, the sales manager, key R&D people, etcetera. That way, nobody would have to worry about drinking and driving. Riya came over and picked me up. She'd gotten me a dress and some shoes to wear for the evening, since my stuff hadn't arrived yet. I soon figured out that I was to be window dressing for the event. I didn't mind... not really. I tried to tolerate the men who stood too close; and while I did NOT tolerate the four different hands that caressed my butt, I never made a scene about it. I got tired of smiling. And in the end, I was very happy when the bus took us all back home.
The following week, I interviewed with several of the managers for executive assistant positions. One or two were sort of lecherous, and I was surprised when one female director showed obvious sexual interest. Riya mentioned several times about interviewing with the other owner of the company, William Smythe (whom she only referred to as "Billy"), but I hadn't met him yet. I picked up a few tidbits of gossip about him around the cafeteria and waiting rooms from some of the secretaries. None of them had ever actually seen the man, and a few expressed doubts that he even existed. Smythe was supposedly the brains behind the invention that launched the firm. "Quantum computing," they called it. I asked Riya about the rumors later in the week.
"Oh, yes," she said, laughing. "Billy exists alright! He's become one of my best friends here. You're just going to love him!" And so, I let the topic drop.
On that next Friday, I called Riya and tried to beg out of the employee party, but she told me that would be extremely bad form. And once again, I didn't argue. She had gone to SO much trouble to get me this job (whatever the job ended up being), and I didn't want to appear ungrateful. I was awfully tired, though, and my things were scheduled to arrive that day. Also... I sort of dreaded wearing that skimpy little dress from the previous week's party, knowing that I'd be feeling more paws on my derriere before the evening was over. Riya picked me up again... and she'd brought ANOTHER dress; this one bearing an awfully fancy label. It must have cost a fortune! But it was, if anything, even more daring than its predecessor. The matching shoes sported four-inch heels... something that I was NOT comfortable in. It all fit perfectly. Riya was especially excited by my wearing it. And so, off we went.
The party was in full swing when we got there. The booze was flowing, and everyone was having a great time. Riya handed me a tall cranberry cocktail, and I was so nervous that I drank it down pretty quickly. I started feeling the effects of it, and went in search of hors devours. They helped a little, but made me thirsty; and before I knew it, there was another drink in my hand. People were nice, overall... even the letches. The woman who had interviewed me earlier in the week took me aside and made some small talk before asking me the question that I'd half expected. She was very nervous, and I think I did a pretty good job of letting her down easy; telling her that I was flattered, but that I didn't go in for relationships like that... but I truly wished her luck in finding someone who did. She held my hand (just a little too long) and thanked me, before going off to stalk the new girl in the secretarial pool.
By now, I had regretted drinking the two tall cocktails. I really needed to pee; and as if by magic, Riya was at my side. She led me across the lobby and pointed up the far staircase. Third door, she said. Can't miss it. I hurried up as fast as my wobbly heels would allow, but when I got to the top and looked down the short hallway of closed doors, I couldn't remember if she had told me it was on the left or right. Also, a couple of the doors obviously went to closets, and I didn't know if those were supposed to count. I approached the third door on the left and listened. I thought I heard a noise, so I knocked lightly. When no one said anything, I cracked it open and peeked inside. It was a bedroom. There was a man sprawled on his back in the center of a queen-sized bed, and the naked woman who was straddling him was moaning so loudly that it was no wonder they hadn't heard my knock. I watched them for several long moments until my guilt (and the urgent need to relieve myself) drove me to softly close the door and continue my search.
I tapped again on the door across the hall. Again there was no response, so I took a deep breath and opened it, ready for just about anything. It was a living room of some sort. Did bathrooms in mansions have sitting rooms outside of them? My need drove me to explore further, so I went in and let the door close softly behind me. There was light coming from an inner doorway (with an open door) to my left, and I tentatively wandered in that direction. When I finally reached it, I looked in and observed a very odd sight. It was a big room... really big... with one wall covered entirely with full bookcases. The other three walls were completely covered in white dry-erase boards, and there was odd mathematical scribbling everywhere I looked. In the center of the room were four desks, which all faced each other, each with a computer monitor, so that four people could work simultaneously, I guess. But only one man was there... a BIG man, sitting with his back to me.
"Excuse me," I said. "Can I use your...?" And he turned toward me.
