"Oh, come
on
, honey!" my wife sighed exasperated, "not this hypnosis-crap again?" She'd come into my office and found me reading in
How Hypnosis Works
, the newest addition in my growing collection of hypnosis-themed books.
"What?" I asked, looking up from my book.
"I thought you were in here working. Let go of that garbage and spend a little time with your wife instead.
American Idol
is on," she insisted.
"It's
not
garbage!" I exclaimed tired, "it's fascinating -- you can change and help people in so many ways, and I-"
"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before," she interrupted me, "and you really wanna try it someday. Once you've studied it enough, learnt enough. But really, dear, enough is enough. You're always reading about it, and you're never gonna try it. Because it doesn't work. Hypnosis isn't real, and you've been hoodwinked into thinking it is."
"You've really figured it all out, huh Elisha?" I snapped, suddenly angry with her, "I've read hundreds of accounts of people who've been hypnotised -- have they all been hoodwinked too? Just because you don't believe something or haven't seen something doesn't mean, it isn't real."
Usually, she backed off and let me be once she'd gotten me riled up (this wasn't the first time we'd had this argument, see), but this time she really stood her ground.
"John, have you ever tried it on someone?" she asked, calmly.
"You know I haven't. I don't have enough..." I began excusing myself.
"Linda who wants to stop smoking? Your mom's weight-losing programme? Making Paul cluck like a chicken at dinner-parties?" she demanded, knowing full well the answer.
"No, as I was
trying
to say, I haven't..." I tried again, letting my irritation show in my voice.
"No, you've got lots and lots of information!" she exclaimed and pointed at my bookshelf where the middle-row was occupied by some of the best guides and introductions into the world of hypnosis, "you know why you haven't hypnotised anyone? Why you haven't even tried?"
"Oh, so you know?" I sneered at her, growing increasingly annoyed.
"Yeah, I do," she insisted with a nod, "you're scared."
"What!? Scared?" I scoffed, "what would I be scared of?" That was not what I had expected -- because it was ludicrous, of course.
"Yeah, scared. Because if you actually did try, you'd realise that it's just a hoax. A hoax that you've spent hours and hours and hundreds of dollars on. So it's better just to sit back and read and watch films, pretend it's real and never risk getting proven wrong."
"I'm not... that's not... No, Elisha, it's..." I tried to find an appropriate response, but somewhere deep inside, something worrying was stirring.
"Yes, it is, John," she said in a calm, soothing voice, "I've been thinking about this for a while. And you know what? It's alright. We can cut our losses, leave this behind and have a nice evening together. We don't have to watch television, we can just... relax. Enjoy ourselves..." She sent me a suggestive smile, hinting at what kind of enjoyment, we could have, if I were willing to let go of my hobby. However, I wasn't willing to pay that price.
"It's not that I'm afraid it's a hoax, though," I insisted, "it's real, I know it is. But..."
"But...?" she probed me, clearly sensing victory.
"But I'm afraid that... I'll fail," I answered after a little while's thinking. "Imagine the disappointment, if I can't make Linda or mom or whoever fall into a trance. Imagine how... how humiliating it'd be. Never try, never fail, you know?"
"Then try it on me," she said, "try it on me. I love you, I won't judge you. If it doesn't work, there'll be no humiliation, no shame. We'll just say, 'it didn't work' and go our merry way. No harm, no foul."
"I... it doesn't work like that, Elisha," I said somewhat reluctant, "you can't hypnotise someone against their will."
"It's okay," she hurriedly answered me, "I won't resist or anything like that. I'll be perfectly accepting, doing what you tell me to. I'll be the best... what do you call it... subject you can imagine. And when...
if
... it doesn't work, you'll agree to let go of all this."
"I don't know..." I sighed but knew that the battle was lost. She sensed it too.
"Let's do this, John," she said with a smile, and I nodded, my heart beating like crazy.
---
Ten minutes later, Elisha was sitting comfortably in the lazy-chair in my office, awaiting our little... experiment. I sat across from her, holding a crystal in my hands. Adrenaline was making me a little shaky and the little prism caught and reflected the dim light in the room in an array of different ways. It had a been a real bargain -- only 300 dollars online. I had started a CD with the soothing sounds of waves on a beach to set the mood. It might be a little overkill, but I figured I needed all the assistance I could get.
Not that the props alone would be enough. It was up to me to do this.
"Okay," I began and swallowed nervously, "okay. I want you to focus on the crystal. I want you to listen to my words very carefully. I want you to relax as best you can, follow my voice and look at the crystal. Okay?"
"Okay," she nodded, a little nervous too but determined, "I love you, John."
"I love you too, Elisha," I said as I leaned in and gave her a kiss. She smiled at me, and I held the crystal out before her eyes.
"Just relax," I said very slowly, very carefully, "relax. Listen to the waves. Look at the crystal. The crystal. Relax. Listen to my voice. Slowly, feel how you are getting tired. Tired. See the light in the crystal. Your legs, feel your legs. They are so heavy. You can barely lift them. You don't want to lift them. It feels good to just relax. Listen to me... Do as I say..."