I was woken by the sun breaking through the window shutters. I immediately reached to my side, seeking him but I was alone and my heart sank. I lay quietly for a few minutes seeking out any sounds that might be him in the bathroom or moving about the house but only the distant church bells broke the silence as I watched dust dance in the shafts of light created by the shutters. I turned to get out of bed and that's when I noticed the note sitting on the bedside table to the side of the bed.
"Good morning Darl," the note started, "I had to check on a few things at work. Make yourself comfortable. Don't worry I won't be gone long. If I'm lucky you'll still be in bed by the time I get back."
I smiled like a teenager in her first blooming of love. "Darl", I rolled the word around my mouth. It was short for darling, he had explained but it sounded so much better when he said it to me, his forging accent changing its character completely I touched the paper lightly, tracing the pen strokes with my fingers, imagining I was slowly tracing them over his skin. I was besotted with him, I was besotted with pieces of paper he had touched and written on. It seemed I would have been besotted with anything related to him. I was in love.
The mirror in the bathroom reflected the face of a stranger back at me. My hair a mess from our love making, my lipstick smeared across my cheeks, yet my eyes were on fire. As I examined my reflection I felt like a character from a Roman Polanski film.
I got under the shower and as the water ran down my body and I massaged the soap into my skin images from last night flashed into my mind. I felt a wetness between my legs. Each time I washed it away within seconds I was wet again. Giving up and turning my attention to the rest of me I quickly finished and stepped out. I towelled myself dry then put my nighty back on, my hair, and another place, still wet.
This was the first time I had had a chance to look around his flat. In the past I would arrive at night and we would stumble blindly to the bedroom in the dark, me leaving to head home once the clock beat us and we had to say good night.The thought shocked me a little because it made me realise just how much of a mystery this man still was to me, yet at the same time I felt I knew every intimate detail of his life.
The apartment was spacious, much too spacious for a single person. And the feeling of emptiness was only exacerbated by the sparse scattering of expensive furniture. The house had the feel of a place not really lived in. If it was not for his jacket and some other clothes hanging on the back of a chair you could have mistaken it for one of those fancy show houses developers furnish to entice buyers to part with their cash.
Only the wooden, slightly traditional kitchen had any kind of a homely feel. I guessed it was probably installed by the previous owner, and by the look of it, he didn't use it much. Its little touches of homeliness drew me to it and I sat down at the breakfast table, almost on instinct.
As I looked around at the austere surroundings my mind returned to the mystery that surrounded him. He had never fully explained what he did for a living. He had mentioned something about him "heading up" a legal office of about ten people in the city but that didn't make sense -- he wasn't a lawyer and he had told me he had never gone to university. Looking at the furniture around the house whatever it was he did he was paid well for doing it!
I retrieved my phone from my handbag having retrieved it from beside the front door where I dropped it as I entered the night before. It was one of those new "smart phones". Yes, back then smart phones were "new"! I filled the kettle and put it on to boil, intending to make a cup of coffee (if I could find the ingredients in this Marie Celeste of a kitchen). I sat back down at the table, waiting for the water to boil and flicked through some web pages. Maybe it was something subconsciously pushing the idea to my fingers but soon I found myself on a site explaining Tarot. The memory of that night a few weeks ago when I drew the devil suddenly came to mind and I read a small paragraph about the card.
Some phrases almost jumped off the page, "submitting to another", "allowing yourself to be controlled" focus in on the physical and forgetting the spiritual", being taken in by appearances and "foreseeing a bleak future". Panic was rising in my chest when the sound of the kettle boiling made me jump. I switched off my phone, returned it to my bag and made myself a coffee.
I sat back down at the table and took a small sip before placing the cup down. I slowly lost myself in thought -- a mix of reflections on him, the night before and the information about the card spun around my head.
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder that froze me with fear then a whispered voice I knew only too well let the tension evaporate.
"I see you are finding your way around the kitchen" he said, "I like that" he added with a quiet chuckle.
I turned around to face him, suddenly very aware of the way the wetness of my hair had transferred to my nightly making it almost translucent. I knew my breasts were clearly visible and that thought, knowing his eyes were caressing me instantly hardened my nipples. I blushed, lost for words as he blatantly let his eyes wander.
How had he sneaked up on me without a sound? Why had he been so quiet? Was he hiding something or had he wanted to catch me doing something I shouldn't, searching through a drawer or something? I pushed these silly fears from the front of my mind, put there, I guess buy thoughts about that damned card -- there was a much more likely and simple explanation -- he hadn't wanted to wake me. That was it. I silently scolded myself for being so silly.
He took hold of the slim shoulder strap of my nightie and stroked it with his fingers, his eyes finally settling on mine. My stomach tightened, I felt the butterflies fighting to escape one again. Then he started to kiss me, teasing me. His lips danced around my mouth, kissing its corners but avoiding the rest deliberately trying to increase my longing to feel them press onto mine. I started to squirm a little as anticipation and desire grew in me, the sensations threatening to make me a little crazy.
"You are very responsive", I heard him say, my eyes closed.
