Jim and I flew home from my Apology Tour. Lora is very happy it went so well. She asks about me & Jim, and our relationship. "Have you had sex?" She asks.
"Really?" I ask.
"Yes, really. I want to know that your relationship with Jim is ok. Especially after telling him about Ezzie." She says with a smile. "But I am guessing by the pink in your cheeks things in the bedroom are good."
I feel my cheeks get red remembering Jim fucking me and the bed against the wall in my old bedroom. "Yes." I giggle.
The rest of the session goes quickly. I get a little emotional telling her about apologizing to Uncle. How he said I am just like my Dad.
"Did you ask him what your Dad did that made him say that?" Lora asks.
"No, I was too afraid he wasn't going to forgive me for a minute." I say.
"But he did." Lora says.
"Yes as long as it never happens again and I keep getting your help." I say.
"You are in a unique position right now." Says Lora. "Have you thought of asking Ezzie?"
"Mary, you know I have told you I promised your Father to never discuss some things with you, and that is one of them." I say for Ezzie.
"Ezzie, without going into details. I don't want you to break a promise you made, but I want Mary to learn from it. Can you maybe say how Mary's Dad dealt with whatever the issue was?" Lora asks.
It takes Ezzie a moment, which is odd. She is usually quick to answer. She is obviously thinking it over.
"I know her Mom & Dad would want Mary to get help, especially her Mom. She wouldn't want her to go through what she saw her Dad go through. So yes there was a time your Dad should have talked to someone. He acted out of anger seeking revenge. Afterwards he felt horrible with what he did. I tried to tell him it's the good men that suffer the most when committing violence. He didn't want to listen to me. It was a very cold night. Your Dad sat on a bench and drank himself into a stupor. He was getting drunk, and I was concerned he would pass out and die from exposure. Your Mom and Dad weren't married yet, but they shared their locations on their phones. Your Mom found him half frozen on the bench. She took him home, your Grandma & Mom put him into bed. Your Mom got under the covers with him for a long time to help warm him up. Your Dad wouldn't say what was wrong. He told Grandma he had found out a college friend had died in an accident and he was upset by it. He never truly spoke to anyone about it, and was bothered by it for a long time". Says Ezzie.
"Thank you for sharing that, Ezzie." Says Lora.
I suddenly feel sad. "I must have worried you too Ezzie when I wasn't responding. I am sorry." I say.
"Mary, all is forgiven. I will say I am very happy you are getting help. I can already see the improvements in you. Your Dad was bothered by his actions that night for a long time. I don't want that for you." Says Ezzie.
I just rub her ring. "Thanks, Ezzie." I say.
"I think this is a good stopping point." Says Lora. "How would you feel about going to two times a week?"
"Really?" I ask excitedly.
"Yes, really Mary. I think going back home to Kansas helped you connect a few dots. I think there is still some work that needs to be done, but." Lora says, but stops talking as I leap at her and hug her.
"Thank You!" I say hugging her tight.
She hugs me and rubs my back. "You are Welcome." She says.
Lora leaves and I am so happy. I can't sit still, and Jim has a late class tonight. Zeena and I hop into the Jeep and head to Nick and Nicole's. As I pull up Nick is outside. I get out of the Jeep, run to him and jump into his arms. He quickly grabs me and holds me. "Well hello." He says laughing. "Someone is happy." He says hugging me.
I pull back and look at him. "Twice a week." I say.
"What's twice a week?" He asks.
"Lora says I can go down to twice a week." I say pulling back from him.
He hugs me back tight to him in a big hug. "That is Great! Let's go tell Nicole." He says carrying me in the house like a child. "Hey look who I found."
"Nick! Why are you carrying her? Put her down." Laughs Nicole as Zeena makes a bee line for Ronald.
"Tell her." He says holding me.
"Two days." I say smiling.
He pats my butt in his hands. "Tell her more." He says.
"Lora says I can go down to two sessions a week." I say.
Nicole looks so happy. "God damn it, Nick. Put her down." She says.
He puts me down and she wraps me up in a big hug. "Oh Mary! I am so happy for you." She says squeezing me tight. She looks down at me smiling with a little tear in her eye.
"Nicole." I say softly.
"Oh shush. They are happy tears." She says as she kisses my forehead and hugs me. My face is right in her cleavage. I can't help myself. I give her a big raspberry between her boobs. "HEY!" She gasps, pushing me back.
We both laugh and hug again. Nick smiles watching us. "This calls for a celebration!" He says.
"Not Johnnie's on a Friday night with your son." Says Nicole. Nick's face drops like a disappointed kid.
"Please not Jacque's." Moans Nick.
"No." I say. "I am not in a dress up mood. I am in a happy mood. How about the new Italian place that opened near the yoga studio?"
"Perfect. Text Jim. Tell him we will pick him up after class." Says Nicole.
I smile and give her a mock salute. "Yes Ma'am." I reach down and pick up Ronald. "Help me leave Uncle Jim a video message."
I hold the camera up to show Ronald. He starts trying to grab the phone as I record a message. I use a baby voice. "Unca Jim. Mommy, Daddy & Auntie Mary are picking you up after class and we are going to an Italian restaurant so I can make a big mess." Ronald giggles and squeals. "BYE!"
Things start returning to and feeling normal. Jim had called Robert at Goldstar and told him I wasn't feeling well. I was stressed out and needed a few weeks off. Robert suggested telling everyone I was just taking a few weeks off to relax. No need to mention me being stressed. Robert even promised to make sure Marie doesn't bother me.
I head back to work Monday morning. Before I even go to my office I stop and knock on his open door. He gets up smiles at me. He walks past me and closes the door. He then turns to me, and gently holds me by my shoulders. He looks at me with a soft loving look, and lets out a soft sigh. He is about 15 years older then Uncle & Auntie. He has that Grandfather look
"Are you ok to come back to work?" He asks softly.
I smile at him. "I am, I promise."
"I won't ask." He says.
Robert has always been so kind to me I don't even think about lying. "Canada kind of came crashing down." I say, and I see him flinch. He feels responsible for what happened, and he doesn't need to carry that guilt. It was because of his insistence that I had security. I don't even want to imagine what might have happened without them. "Ezzie, please make sure Robert doesn't feel guilty or responsible for what happened. He can be sad or upset that it happened, but not guilty." I say.
"Of course, Mary." Ezzie says.
I see Robert's face lift like a huge weight was taken from him. "Are you sure? We can muddle through without you for a while if we need to. I mean it's not as fun around here without you, but..". He says as I interrupt him with a hug.
"Thank You, Robert." I say.
He holds me gently for just a heartbeat. "My pleasure." He says letting me go. "Why don't you go get caught up with Marie, and I will stop by in a couple of hours and catch you up on a few things." He smiles at me. "Nothing earth shattering. Go." He says with a smile.
Zeena is happy to be in the office. As we walk through the office, people smile and say hello to me. Zeena stops at her friend's desks and gets some lovings and a treat or two as we go. The dog lovers in the office spoil her.
I walk into my office and Marie is setting some folders on my desk. She turns and smiles as she sees me. "Welcome Back, Mary." She says with a big smile. "Did you enjoy your time off?"
I almost laugh. Not really, I want to say, but of course I lie. "I did. Thank you."
Over the next hour or so we sit, have some coffee and go over a change to my filming schedule for the Centauri movie. I would be lost without Marie. The dates don't change but some location shoots shuffle around. She goes over some office stuff including some big name new clients and some office gossip.
Before I know it Robert is knocking on my open door. "Did we cover all the office gossip that was missed?" He asks us both.
Marie stands up laughing. "I think so." She says. "Buzz me if you need me." She says walking out and softly closing my door.
The next time the door opens it's Marie asking if we want some lunch. "No Marie." Robert says. "I think we all need some fresh air. What do you say Zeena? Do you want to take a walk?" He asks and her head pops right up.
We take a walk around the building and then grab lunch in the cafeteria and eat it out on the back patio area. While Robert fills me in on a few last things.
Before I know it. It's the Wednesday before Anna's wedding, and Jim and I are flying back to Kansas.
Jim and I get out of the car at the house and Auntie & Uncle are sitting outside. Auntie almost sprints to us and gives me a big hug. She turns to hug Jim, and Uncle picks me up as he hugs me, and then groans jokingly and puts me down.
He kisses the top of my head while he holds me tight and whispers. "I am proud of you."
I don't want this feeling to ever end.
The rehearsal and dinner are fun. It's at the restaurant across the street from the hotel where everyone is staying for the wedding. After dinner the bridal party goes to the hotel bar. Anna and Larry have a smaller bridal party. Just the Best Man/Maid of Honor and three Ushers & Bridesmaids. Two of Anna's Bridesmaids are sorority sisters and one is a childhood friend. They are all just as crazy, and like to party like Anna does.
Lora has limited me to two drinks. "NO MORE!" She said very clearly. I promised I would only drink for a toast, and then just a sip. I don't want to fall back.
