Dude Where S My Tomb

"Where's my Tomb, dude?" Ryan asked impatiently.

"I'm telling you, this is the spot you marked on the map" I responded for the second time.

"But there were animal head-pot-things and a casket and everything!"

I sighed. The quality of students the professor had been assigning to me had completely collapsed recently. Three hours ago Ryan wandered off and then came running back going on about some discovery.

"Fuck" Ryan shouted, kicking an odd shaped rock.

A strange passageway opened in the side of the corridor. They both stared at each other in shock before Ryan ran right in to look at the discovery.

What they found inside was not in any textbook. A room full of strange alien technology, a skeleton lay on the floor partially crushed. On the table in front of him was some sort of console. It looked like it had been partially connected.

Ryan picked up the cable and immediately plugged it straight in. "Nooo," I screamed out, pushing him away from the console, but the cables connected and... nothing happened.

"Dude, what the fuck?" said Ryan as he got to his feet.

"You can't just go around messing with..."

"And what are we going to do? Stand here for an hour deciding what to do with it?"

That was actually a good point. Could we have just ignored the obvious thing to try that would get us some answers?

"I suppose you're right Ryan, look sorry I. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR NECK!" I screamed as I saw a small metallic spider bury its way into his neck."

But before I knew it I felt something on my neck too! A sharp pinch then something wiggling to my spine. Then the feeling was gone.

"Wait. Was this on before?" Ryan said looking at the console which had now lit up.

Neurolinguistic interface established.

Debugging display online

N1: Human male

N2: Human male

Priority Objective: Repair technocore

Optimal Strategy: Religious Appeal

"What the hell does that mean?" said Ryan as we both realised there was someone standing behind us.

We turned around and there stood an Egyptian goddess.

"Mortals, I am the goddess Isis, thou art sworn to serve me, are you not? Wouldst thou repair my sanctum?" The "goddess" spoke noticeably in perfect English.

"Yeah, we don't believe in those anymore," I said, turning back to the console.

Strategy failed.

Subjects: males in late adolescence

New Optimal strategy: Hyperstimulate Mating instinct

"Fine, I'm not really a goddess, but I am a hot chick. I can definitely offer you boys something you want." Her previously modestly sized boobs promptly inflated to EE cups.

"Nice, but today I could see five bigger sets on the internet whenever I want." Ryan said, turning away again.

New intelligence acquired, Humans surpassed stage 3 civilisation.

Updating tactics.

"But can your virtual women give you oral pleasure?" Isis asked, seductively cupping her tits.

Ryan's interest peaked and turned his attention back to the projection.

"No, and neither can you, we know you are just a projection in our heads. You can't touch anything" I said, trying to ignore her and focus on the technology in the room. In the hand of the skeleton on the floor, a glinting crystal catches my eye. I'll try and grab it when I have an opportunity. I'm hoping the AI can't read my thoughts.

"That's where you are wrong sweetie. I can touch you boys." She walked forward and put the back of her hand against my cheek, when it made contact I felt real skin, in fact my nerves seemed to explode as if it was the most sensuous contact I had ever had. "I can make your sensual experience incredibly pleasurable."

My nose was assaulted with an overpowering scent of lavender and incense.

"Or I can make you extremely uncomfortable," she continued.

"ARRRGH" I screamed as my hand suddenly felt like it was dropped in a furnace. But a moment later the pain was gone! I checked my hand but it was completely undamaged.

The image of Isis walked over to Ryan, as her hand passed through his jeans a tent promptly formed.

"Now all you have to do is move a box and connect some cables. Can you do that for me?" Isis asked seductively.

"Sure," Ryan meekly agreed while clearly staring down her cleavage.

While she was distracted I dropped down and picked up the thing in the skeleton's hand. It was a long transparent crystal attached to a chain. I quickly pocketed it and glanced at the debug console.

Immediate goal: Acquire ZP-battery for reactor initialization.

The woman disappeared and then we heard her voice on the other side of the room. "Open this cabinet and take one of the boxes to the central console." She instructed.

We ran over but she was pointing to empty space above a pile of rubble.

"What cabinet?" I asked.

"The battery retainer is destroyed?" she asked.

"Looks like it, there's just a pile of slabs"

Isis paused for a moment. Clearly she wasn't reading our thoughts and couldn't see the room I realised. Eventually she spoke.

"You two human boys should be strong enough to move the retainer remains."

Between us we were able to move the two slabs of rumble. Underneath there were several alien looking boxes with terminals although most had been shattered with strange liquid pouring out of them. After carefully shifting a few away we found an intact one.

"There's one left," I said.

"Take it to the desk," Isis said.

The battery was far heavier than expected but between the two of us we were able to bring it to the desk.

"Disconnect the debug terminal and then connect the battery through the same connections and then you will have your oral pleasure."

I disconnected the debug terminal and the ISIS image disappeared. The device was completely powered down.

"She's gone, let's get out of here," I said relieved.

"But dude, our oral pleasure." Ryan said

"Don't be a moron, we don't know what it's going to do with us. We should go while we can." I said, exacerbated.

"Fuck that, we can turn it off whenever we want. I want oral pleasure" he said as he connected the battery.

The image of Isis reappeared, much happier than before. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, if the debug console was still connected I could at least have some idea what is going on.

"You boys upheld your side so I will grant you oral pleasure." The image said.

"Yes" screamed Ryan, dropping his pants and sitting on the table. His large cock already looked painfully erect.

The image of Isis split in two and one went and knelt before Ryan while the other came towards me and knelt. Despite the fact I hadn't taken my pants off I felt a warm mouth envelope my cock and despite myself I grew uncomfortably hard.

Her "tongue" seemed to be able to probe and hyperstimulate my cock in a delicious way.

"Fuck yeah" Ryan gasped, he started panting very hard, clearly getting really into it. The image enveloped his cock between her enlarged tits and appeared to be sucking it with lips that also seemed larger, probably to hyperstimulate Ryan's preferences.

In spite of myself I groaned as the stimulation picked up in pace. There wasn't anything I could do to stop it at this stage so I leaned into it. This truly was the best blowjob I had ever had and I tried to relax and enjoy it.

Eventually Ryan groaned "FUUUUCK" and his cum exploded out the back of the head of the Isis image and fell to the sandy floor.

"URGH!" It proved too much for me and I came too. I had still not taken off my pants so now I was stuck with cum stained pants.

The image led Ryan to the desk area as some box upon it seemed to spontaneously open.

"Take this and point it here," she told him pointing to his right pec. "Don't worry it won't hurt."

Ryan took out something that looked like a gun and put it on his chest and pulled the trigger all while just staring at her doe-eyed. There was a loud snap sound and a strange scar appeared on his pec.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I shouted as I rushed towards him.

"Relax, it's just an endocrine regulator," the Isis image said. "It will keep him healthy. And if you boys come back tomorrow I promise you more pleasure." And with that she vanished.

"Right, let's get out of here" I said.

Ryan glanced down at my pants. "OK."

Chapter 2

Once back at our tents I changed my pants and realising it was now very late we went to bed.

It was a rough night as Ryan kept heaving and fidgeting in his sleeping bag.

As we ate our breakfast I realised that Ryan looked larger than he did just the night before.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"I feel pumped dude. Kinda horny though." he replied.

"Is that because of that thing she put in you?" I asked.

"Dunno man, maybe." he rubbed the scarred area. "Feels like there's something square under my skin."

I touched the back of my neck remembering how the neural device burrowed in. Were these things safe? Should we try and get a doctor to remove them?

"So what are we going to tell the professor?" I asked.

"Depends what happens today I guess" Ryan replied.

"What? You mean you want to go back there?" I gasped.

"Sure, dude. Aren't you curious?"

"Aren't you afraid it will enslave you?" I asked the seemingly obvious question.

"Whoever made that machine is long gone, it may as well just be an alien blowjob machine now," he replied rather eruditely before seeming to become lost in daydreams. I had to admit maybe he had a point. I still had the crystal in my pocket and now idea what it is for.

Once we got back into the "control room" we found more things were lit up than before.

Isis reappeared. "Today we will be repairing the enslavement mechanisms."

"No, why would we need to do that?" Ryan said. "We are here for oral pleasure."

"Don't worry, you'll have plenty of pleasure." Isis said.

"FUUCK" Ryan suddenly said as he seemed to turn redfaced. His pants tented and he seemed to become more aggressive. "I really need to cum. NOW!"

"If you want that pleasure to continue, start clearing the debris in that corner." Isis ordered.

"No, I urgh, ok yes" Ryan eventually agreed.

As he went to work Isis turned to me. "Your friend is in a hormonally enhanced edging state and is going to be the workhorse for today."

I had to admit Ryan was now doing more work than he had the entire expedition.

"I need you to be more lucid as we will be rerouting the circuitry." she explained.

"And how will you stop me from just leaving?" I asked.

My hand once again felt like it was on fire. "ARRRGH".

"Since my central reactor is back online my neurolink range is far wider than it was. If you try to leave you will collapse from pain before you make it out."

Fuck I thought. It had us. A panel opened on the wall and I reluctantly followed its instruction rewiring as Ryan walked around the room carrying things from place to place.

After several hours she brought our attention to the central desk. Ryan had carried over a large device that looked like it manufactured those spider-like neural interfaces.

"Now connect this to the port above the administrator key receptacle?" Isis instructed.

"The what?" I asked, suddenly seeing an opportunity.

"The administrator key receptacle" she repeated pointing to a diamond shaped hole on the desk.

I quickly reached into my pocket and pulled out the crystal I found on the corpse the day before and quickly dropped it in the keyhole.

The Isis image froze then robotically said. "Administration mode engage, suspending personality matrix, suspending immediate tasks, suspending supervised motivation routine on neural link 2."

"Fuck dude, what did you DO!" Ryan yelled, "the pleasure's stopped. Turn it back on!"

Ryan started lurching towards me with a rage I'd never seen before. Thinking quickly I shouted "Resume supervised motivation on neural link 2."

Just before Ryan was going to sock me one the look of bliss returned to his face and he resumed his physical labour.

"Identify Neural link 1 as permanent administrator." I said.

"Acknowledged" Isis, said now empty of any personality.

"Errr List main directives" I said, hoping this would make sense.

"Main directives:

1: enslave local primitive populations.

2: operate diamond mines.

3: Report to imperial bureaucracy. Last successful report 5,000 Earth years ago."

Now we seemed to be getting somewhere.

"Administrator command: Delete directive 3." I said

"Directive deleted"

"Modify directive two to serve administrator as master" I said

"Directive modified"

I thought about the first directive, then decided that maybe it was best to leave it in place. I looked at Ryan, he was so productive now. Maybe it would be best for more people to be this productive.

Gay ending:

Still, I thought, maybe he could be put to better use.

"New immediate task for neural link 2: Give administrator oral pleasure" I said.

Ryan turned around and started moving towards me.

"It says to suck your cock to continue the pleasure." He looked at me with burning hatred. "Well take your pants off them."

The hatred faded as he went to work and I aptly rewarded him with release.

Now I was in control everything turned out for the best after all.

Straight ending:

"Exit administrator mode." I said taking out the crystal.

Life returned to the image of Isis.

"Master, how may this device serve you?" it asked submissively.

I connected the interface manufacturing device.

"Prepare neural interface links optimised for human females" I ordered, taking off my pants "And while that is running, Oral pleasure."

Isis knelt and started stimulating my cock, but this time I was the one in control and could actually enjoy it. I started at Ryan still walking around in a pleasure induced daze. I am in control, aren't I? I am sure of it.