A deep, red blanket enveloped her. It was as if she were immersed, suspended, floating within it. It seemed to be the entire universe.
She heard the door click shut. The world came into view. She was aware of the hard sensation of her knees on the office floor. The surroundings of her office were familiar but her thoughts, her feelings, were not. What was she doing here? A feeling of deep unease overcame her as she realised she was wearing a thin leather collar, a tight fitting leather jacket, a peephole bra, a tight leather mini skirt and knee high, high heeled boots. Hardly appropriate attire for the office! Furthermore, she had no memory of either putting them on, or of even having seen them before. What had happened to her? She asked herself, tormented by her ignorance, but equally fearful that perhaps she did not want the knowledge either.
In horror, she noticed a warm, sticky film of liquid on her face. A deep, cold feeling of dread arose in the pit of her stomach. It was clear what had happened to her much as she didn't want to even articulate the thought to herself. But how, when, and with who was a complete mystery to her. Torn between a fear of confronting the truth, and a compulsion to just know she racked her memory in vain. She knew there was something there, but she was just agonisingly short of seeing what.
She didn't sleep well that night. Her light slumber was disturbed by vague sensations, of laughing male faces she couldn't quite place, and of another male voice, again familiar but indistinct and present within her head. This was mixed with some kind of involuntary stirring between her legs. Half awake and half asleep she tried in vain to connect the dots which lay just outside her reach like a jigsaw with a few crucial pieces missing.
***********************************************
"Luis, if the claims against you are substantiated, this is very serious indeed. This is not just some game. This is sexual harassment."
Miss Davenshaw sat in her office chair in the more familiar attire of a blouse, power suit, knee length skirt, stockings and office high heels. She was in some way glad of this distraction. Of course, she was disgusted by what she was sure Luis had done. Sexual innuendo and a blatant creepy feel of her PA's behind was not only unacceptable professionally; it was also unforgivably sexist and harassing behaviour and an inexcusable way to treat any woman even in this male dominated world of the city. But focusing on this diverted her frustrated, tortured mind from the memories that lay just out of her reach. It teased her like a door that she felt compelled to open but which filled her with dread whenever she approached it.
In the same way that Luis seemed to be teasing her now. She expected him to be confrontational, angry, in denial. Instead a faint smirk, one suggesting he knew something she didn't was clearly in evidence on his face. Didn't he realise how serious this was? Was it her he was smirking at? For the first time in a long time, she felt that his respect for her was less than total. Worse, he no longer seemed scared of her. She'd long since given up on any of her male subordinates liking her, this industry was simply not ready to accept female authority no matter how competent or hard working the woman was. But she liked to think that over the last few months since she'd become CEO she at least had their professional respect, and, if necessary, fear. Deep within her, her own confidence began to shake, could this be connected to what happened yesterday - whatever that was? She chided herself, stop overthinking things! You need to be in control here, now.
But it seemed like she was losing control. Self consciously she fingered the leather collar around her neck. She realised with horror that she had forgotten to take it off. Oh my god! She'd had it on all this time! Luis spoke next.
"Well, according to company policy we have the option of myself, the plaintiff, the HR director, one colleague of my choice, and you, our CEO, all having a meeting together. I would like to have that option. As is my right, I would also not like to discuss this matter until that meeting."
The way he said 'our CEO' dripped with sarcasm but, concerning the facts he was right. He gave a smug chuckle as her eyes flickered in frustration. She hoped they hadn't given too much away.
Without waiting to be dismissed, Luis got up and swaggered out of the office.
"Don't worry about me. Are you sure you're ok, especially after yesterday. We all feel the pressure sometimes."
The words were fine but she was sure she detected a tone of mocking, fake concern. Or was she reading too much into it? Oh, I don't know. Why am I beginning to doubt myself? What does he know about yesterday? What does he know that I don't? The normally self-assured, confident Miss Davenshaw indeed began to worry about herself ever so slightly.
***********************************************
Miss Davenshaw, May and the HR director waited in her office slightly awkwardly. As CEO, she of course had to be neutral yet at the same time sympathetic to the plaintiff. Personally, she empathised with May. As a PA in this testosterone soaked world May, like her, had to know how to look after herself. But she was her PA, and that, until now had seemed to protect her from the worst excesses of leery male behaviour. She liked May, she was competent enough, and even after work they'd shared the odd friendly glass of white together winding down and finding an outlet by expressing their opinions of the men in the office. What she liked especially about her though was that she knew May respected and admired her. She respected what Miss Davenshaw had achieved against all the odds in this macho, male dominated world. Even now, she could see May's expression; although obviously one of frustration and anger,it also showed confidence and trust that things would be put right. That Miss Davenshaw would put things right.
Luis came in. 5 minutes late. Slightly disrespectful but what shook Miss Davenshaw most was that he had chosen Edmund to accompany him. Why this bothered her, she did not know. But a curious mix of frustration, arousal, and a vague sensation that something was not quite right seized her. Hang on, hadn't she just spoken to him half an hour ago? And what about? She couldn't remember.
They were all staring at her.
"Oh, yes, right...sorry, uh let's begin, shall we."
This was not her usual smooth way of beginning proceedings but the formal process did get underway. Stealing furtive glances of Edmund in his smart suit, Miss Davenshaw outlined the situation. The HR director outlined company policy with regard to incidents like this and then May explained the nature of her complaint. Luis answered his case. It was clear to Miss Davenshaw that he was in the wrong. Bottling her anger at his male stupidity, she began to dress him down in a clear yet unmistakably professional manner.
"Luis, your own words do seem to make it very difficult for you to make a case both within company policy and wider harassment law."
But Luis wasn't looking at her. He looked at Edmund.
"Um, sorry to interrupt Miss Davenshaw;"
Edmund, who had been silent until now spoke up. Miss Davenshaw turned to him in annoyance.
