Diaries of a Dar Princess

All characters are over eighteen.

***

3

rd

Day of Moonfall, Year 879 of the Age of Shadow.

Dear Diary,

And so it begins!

I- Princess Feera- feel the need to record the progress of my days. It is my duty to capture my thoughts and musings as I rise from my humble beginnings- that of the Crown Princess of the great and mighty Dark Empire, with its hordes of beastmen, dark knights, dark sorcerers, dark warships, dark farmlands, dark cities etc. etc. etc. and with the ear of her father, the All-Powerful Dark Emperor-

-long may be reign!-

-to the inevitable day when I overthrow my rivals, aid my father in conquering creation and rule the world by his side in an eternal reign of terror and glory! Nothing will stand in my way!

Well, other than my pathetic half-sister, Terra, who is constantly plotting and conniving to find ways to embarrass me, all the while imagining

herself

as the Heir-to-be.

And the Alliance of Light, that sad band of petty kingdoms seeking to resist our invasions with their 'hope' and 'justice' and 'armies of well-trained noble warriors'.

And

their leader, that awful Queen Justinia and her ugly blonde children Hopestra and Strengan. Princess and Prince of Light my royal

ass

.

And

this

idiot

prophecy about a Hero showing up and ruining all our fun.

And

the general incompetence, uselessness, and petty politicking of the various factions that plague our capital of Darkhold. Honestly, if I have to deal with one more assassin...

My point is- despite the many, many difficulties in front of me I shall rise, like a black dragon rises out of a depthless pit in the middle of a winter solstice to cause untold devastation to the surrounding landscape-

(Best birthday present ever, by the way)

-to conquer all of my enemies, raise myself up to glory and take my place at my father's side as his chosen heir- Empress-to-be of the Dark Empire! One day I shall look back on the contents of this diary and laugh atop my great Throne of Shadows as the world grovels at my feet!

Bwahahahaha!

***

7

th

Day of Moonfall, Year 879 of the Age of Shadow.

Dearest Diary,

Bwahahahaha!

I have captured the Hero of Prophecy!

Wonderous news, I know- and entirely the result of good luck! Well, that and my cunning planning,

obviously

. I was overseeing the training of our great and fearsome armies in preparation for the coming invasion of the Alliance of Light when I received word from Shadra. I hurried down into the dungeons to meet her.

Shadra's certainly been useful. The small, cat-like beast-woman has been invaluable in discrediting rivals, gathering dirt on my allies and striking my foes from the shadows. And all it took was a decision five years ago not to have her executed after catching her thieving in the Palace grounds! She smiled at me and bowed low, her small, lithe form clad in tight leathers. "My Beautiful Princess," she murmured in that half-breathy voice that she seemed to prefer when talking to me.

I reached down to ruffle her short, copper hair, causing her to involuntarily purr under her breath. "Tell me what you have found," I said.

"It is he," she said. "The so-called Hero of Prophecy. I am sure of it."

"How do you know?"

"He, um, told me."

Had she started interrogating him already? I would have preferred to be there. "How did you capture him?"

"I was investigating the captain of the guard for evidence of wrongdoing, so better to blackmail him for you," she said smoothly. "I heard that they had secured a prisoner. I investigated and ensured that he was brought here."

"Evidence of this-"

"Already dealt with," she said smoothly. Her eyes glinted with cruel humor. "No-one but you and I know he is here."

"Excellent," I said, grinning my level three evil grin. Shadra mirrored me, her tail flicking behind her. "But how did the Hero of Prophecy get captured in the first place?"

She paused, frowning. "To be honest I am not sure but from what the guard told me it seemed like... well, it seemed like he just...showed up at the Darkhold Palace gates and...well, surrendered?" I raised an eyebrow and she cowered, ears flattening against her skull. "That's just what I heard!"

"Very well."

"What should I do with him, my Princess?" She looked back at the cell. "Should I cut off his head so that you may bring it to your father?"

I smiled at the thought. I could imagine it- approaching the Throne of Shadows, the room abuzz with rumors about the prophesied hero. Waiting until my useless half-sister said something about hunting him down and then- and

then

- whipping out his head from some cunningly concealed place, laughing as my father nodded in solemn approval, as Terra snarled and sputtered in impotent rage- and then...

And then that would be it, wouldn't it? A glorious victory, but not one that would ever truly allow me to truly

break

my sister for good.

"No," I said. "Or at least- not immediately. No, I believe I will use him when the time is right." I sauntered past my catlike assassin and up to the cell door. I opened up the small latch and peered inside at the so-called Hero of Prophecy.

He certainly

looked

like a hero. Tall and muscular, with skin darker than my own alabaster shade. His hair was pale, though, in contrast to my dark flowing ebon locks of beautiful night. His face could be described as handsome in a boyish sort of way so long as you discounted the rather empty, pleasant expression that sat upon it.

I turned back to Shadra. "I want you to guard him," I said. "He is too valuable- and dangerous- to be left alone. If my sister finds out about him, she might steal him. If my father finds out...well, we will both be punished." I didn't need to say that I would probably be left alive at the end of said punishment while she would

not

. "I will be back in the morning. We will interrogate this 'Hero of Prophecy' and find out what he knows- about the Alliance of Light, about their plots and about their weaknesses."

Shadra bowed afresh. "I will guard him with my life, my Beautiful Princess."

I left her there, trembling with excitement. Oh, what a wonderful day! I thought of going and attending to the Chamber of the Dark Gods, to thank them for bringing me this rare and unexpected gift. In the end I settled for a short muttered prayer at my bedside, once I had swept the room for assassins-

(None tonight. Honestly, sometimes I feels like Terra just isn't trying anymore. Doesn't she want daddy's approval like I do?)

-and then settled down to write you. Ah, if only I could tell someone other than Shadra and you- a book written in an unbreakable cipher that is hidden under three layers of deadly traps and subtle illusions. Oh, such is the life of a Dark Princess!

***

8

th

Day of Moonfall, Year 879 of the Age of Shadow.

Dearest Diary,

I had a strange dream last night. I was sitting on the Throne of Shadows, cackling with glee. Before me the assembled ranks of the Empire's greatest had gathered- the monstrous generals, tribal leaders, petty kings and great nobles, powerful sorcerers, etc. etc.. My half-sister Terra was amongst them, as was the Grand General Morticus, my father's Grand Commander and confidante. All of them gathered to witness my glory. All of them there to witness my triumph. All of them kneeling, heads bowed, only their eyes raised to submissively observe me. So far, a very good dream and one that I intend to make reality.

The only minor nitpick was that I was entirely naked. And um, fondling myself, squeezing my voluptuous breasts and rubbing my, my, um. Touching my-

Anyway. I was doing those things in front of the entire court with every sign of enjoying myself- in fact the strange sensations that rose from my body made it clear I was enjoying myself

immensely

. At some point I noticed that the eyes staring up at me weren't filled with submissive fear, as was right and proper, but instead all of them- those powerful men and cunning women- gazed at my body with a strange sort of eagerness and hunger that sent thrills of fear down my spine... fear and something else, something just as intense and far stranger. I watched, helplessly in my own body, as my back arched and my legs spread even wider as though I- as though I

wanted

people to stare at me, as though I was putting on a show. Someone was talking to me- I couldn't quite make out their words but their voice was low and calm and soothing. So soothing that even in the midst of my triumph, even in the midst of my, my

display

I became sleepy and drifting...

***

I woke a little while later, exhausted and rather confused. Soon enough I put the dream out of my mind and travelled to the hidden cell through a series of secret passages, weaving a number of minor spells to disguise my appearance.

The Hero of Prophecy is a boy- well, a young man, one supposes- named Samuel. He is from the region of Willowgreen- some backwater mountaintop glen, full of sheep and trees and farmers not much brighter than either. It confused me as to how precisely the prophesized Hero might come from this tiny unimportant little region.

The Hero himself is willing to submit to my questioning. Very helpful, actually. Truth be told, if I wasn't aware that I was dealing with a real (and most certainly quite cunning and dangerous) Hero I might have imagined that he didn't quite

understand

his circumstances. As it was, when I strode into his cell- dressed in my ceremonial black mail armor (the one with the extra spikes) he merely smiled at me. "Hello. Who might you be?"

I towered over his sitting form, my black armor gleaming, a dark circlet atop my head, spikes protruding

everywhere

. "I am the Dread Princess Feera, master of Dark Magics, Sorceress of the Nine Ebon Circles and your captor," I cackled. "Now tremble in fear, pathetic hero!"

"Hello there," he said, waving at me. "My name is Samuel."

I arched an eyebrow at his sad attempt at bravery. "There is no hope for you, oh Hero!" I cackled. "None whatsoever. For you are now my prisoner! Submit and cooperate, and I will be willing to treat you with mercy. Otherwise..." I raised a single eyebrow, letting a fragment of my dread power fill the room. The dark arts, the black magics, the corrupted powers; mine to wield, mine to control, surrounded me in a beautiful nimbus of choking energy.

He did not so much as flinch. Truly I was dealing with a fearless hero, well trained against the arts of torture. "Well, that doesn't sound very nice."

I scoffed. Nice?

Nice

? He was my prisoner, to be tortured or executed on a whim! I didn't need to be

nice

! But then he said, "My mum always said You Should be Nice to Your Guests."

I sneered at that. And then paused, looking around the bare stone cell. "Are you implying," I said, "that you might be more tractable if I provide you with some basic comforts?"

He seemed to mull over my words. "Well, you have to admit it's a bit miserable in here," he said, eying the walls of the forbidden prison deep within the depths of the Darkhold Palace.

I sneered at the thought of this man- this

so-called

hero- betraying his cause, all in exchange for a little comfort! If this was the mettle of the fearsome Hero of Prophecy, then I had nothing to fear from Queen Justinia's pathetic alliance! I cackled and then said, "Very well- I will make...arrangements. But in return you must tell me of your plan."

"My plan?" he asked, frowning.

"Your plan! I want to know who sent you here, and for what purpose! How did you manage to reach the Darkhold Palace undetected? Why did you just surrender when you got here? What do you honestly expect to happen, that you'd done all of this? Well?"

"Well," he said. "It's a very long story. But my mother always said that 'Honesty is the best policy' so if you're happy to hear it, then I'm happy to tell it. So I guess it all started when I turned eighteen. I lived with my mum up in the village."

"What village?"

"We called ourselves the Green Hills." He paused. "Because we were surrounded by hills. That were green."

"What a silly name."

He frowned. "Now there's no need to be so mean, Miss Feera!"

"That's Crown Princess Feera!"

"Sorry Miss Crown Princess Feyra. Anyway, my mum always says, 'It's Better to be Kind Than to be Mean.'" He nodded at me as though he'd imparted some great wisdom; I sighed, sitting down on a stool. "It really all began when my mother told me that I was a man."

"Couldn't you tell?"

He ignored my jibe. "You see, my mother is a very wise woman who helps out the people of her village. She lived with me out in the forest, where she would gather herbs and prepare potions and sing over her cauldron-"

"Wait, are you claiming your mother is a witch of the wilds? That's impossible- my grandfather wiped out the order long ago."

"She wasn't a witch."

"Good. Well then-"

"She just used the magics of the forest to do all sorts of wonderous things that made everyone's lives better." And he nodded with that damnable confidence that seemed to set my teeth at edge. "She's always getting visits from the village men."

"What sort of visits?"

"Oh," he said, his brow crinkling, "you know. They'd come to her with their problems. And she'd talk to them in private. Sometimes she'd a do magic ritual, all moaning and banging on the walls and stuff. And then they'd leave very happy. None of the village women liked her very much, though." He sighed. "I could never figure out why."

"...I couldn't begin to fathom."

"Anyway, one day she took me aside and told me that I was a Man now instead of a Boy and I had to go and help out the Widow Goodwyne. She was a widow, you see."

"I guessed that from the name."

"Well," said Samuel slightly defensively, "she also had two daughters! All of whom lived in poverty after their Da ran off. I knew what it was like to not have a Da so I was full of Sympathies. Anyway, my mum said, 'Sam, those women need a man to go over there and take care of them'.

'Take care of them how?' I asked. I was often being asked to do things in the village on account of me being Big and Strong.

'She has a hole that needs digging,' said my mum. I asked if it was a big hole, because then I might need to bring a shovel. 'None of that cheek,' Mum said, and smacked me on the ear. 'Now go over there and remember- a Job Started Early is a Job Finished Early.'

So I went over to see the widow Goodwyne and told her that my mum said I was to take care of her and dig her hole. She said, 'Are you serious? Who does that woman think she is, bad enough that she's with half the men in the village' and then I said, 'I don't know what that means but Mum always says, 'It's Good to Have a Man About the House.'

Well, she seemed to chew on that alright! In the end she said, "That's true, I guess. Come on then. You can come and dig my hole. And then she walked into the bedroom! Not the garden! I was completely surprised!"

"Really."

"And then she went and took all of her clothes off! Well, she was a right pretty lady, don't let me tell you even if she had two daughters. Big boobs and nice hair- even a nice big bush between her legs! And I know Mum raised me to be respectful for women and not go Peeking but she had a big smile so I guess she didn't mind. And she said, "Well, you going to take of your clothes too?"

Well, I didn't need to be told twice! Off went me tunic. She got a long look at me, so I guess if I was Peeking then so was she. When my trousers came off her eyes got all weird and she said, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, it can't be real," Which I think meant that I had a nice-"

"Alright," I said. "I think I understand."

"Then she lay down on the bed and then opened up her legs- she was all pretty and pink down there. Actually she was pretty all over, and my todger got to stirring all big and strong, make no mistake! It knew what it wanted, alright! She gave me a big smile and told me to come onto the bed. I crawled up there and she grabbed my todger. 'It's so big,' she cooed. 'Is that some sort of tattoo? I can't stop looking at it?-'"

"Moving on," I interrupted him.

"Fair enough. Well, all I can say is that she showed me a nice trick or two, she right did! Made a right man out of me, except that my mum said I already was! So I helped her out all day without doing a lick of gardening! Fancy that! I was so helpful we were still at it when her daughters came home."

"And?"

"Well, they didn't like what had happened- not one bit! A lot of yelling, there was- both of them calling their dear old mum all sorts of awful names! So I told them, 'Look, I was just helping her out like I was told.'"

"And they said?"

"'Well, put your clothes back on', is what they said. And also, 'Wow, that's a big todger, are those runes on it?'. But then I told them, 'Me Mum always says that Families Shouldn't Fight'. Well, that calmed them down a bit, enough for their mum to explain that my mum sent me over to look after them-"

"What the hell has any of this got to do with why you came here?" As- weirdly compelling- as it was to listen to this oaf's story about seducing the local peasant girls, I felt like this wasn't a proper topic for an interrogation.

"Don't worry, it'll all make sense. Like my mum always says, 'You Shouldn't Rush a Good Story'."

More peasant bunkum. But I supposed he had a point and so I allowed his lurid nattering to continue. And continue they did-

"Anyway, even though they weren't yelling they still didn't seem to like the sight of me. Amaa- she was the younger one- kept covering her eyes but it wasn't working so well cause she kept on peeking through. Enna- she's the older one- said, 'Wait, what about us?' I guess she was upset that I still hadn't gotten any gardening done, so I said, 'I'll go and dig your holes too if you want!' There was a long pause and she said, 'Fine.' And Amaa said, 'Wait, are you serious?' And Enna said, 'Look at him, he's gorgeous and anyway he's so dumb that no-one will believe him. Plus I can't stop looking at his thingy,' which again I think she meant-"

"I get it!"

"Well, Enna took me into the bedroom her and her sister slept in. And soon enough she had her clothes off and she was just as pretty as her mum! Well, I did all the stuff that her mum liked and blow me if she didn't like it just as much. Soon she was shouting about how much she was having fun! And that made her sister jealous because she came in all angry and yelling about how it was her turn, so I said, 'My mum always says Family Should Share,' and so then they both lay on one bed and cuddled up to each other while I took turns putting my todger into their-"

"Enough." I felt a sudden wave of dizziness strike me. It must have been the uncomfortably hot air in this dungeon. Why did I think coming in a full suit of armor was a smart idea? "You have painted a picture for me."

"Anyway, I didn't dig any holes that day at all. But I clearly did

something

right because after that, well, I was as popular as a mud puddle in a pig pen at that house! I was always being called over for all sorts of odd jobs, except would you believe that they were always Lying, which my mum said was usually wrong but in this case was alright because of Gossip. Except they must have told someone because pretty soon other girls from the village were asking for me to come over-"

Enough! I was going to faint from heat if this continued. I rose. "Well, as...amusing...as this little story of yours is, I must go. Alliances to crush, lands to conquer..." I sneered at him. "But I will be back, oh 'Hero'. And when I do, I expect more relevant information than your

rutting

with local slatterns."