"We take things seriously here," I say, in an admonishing tone. "I'm not going to cut you any slack just because we went to school together, Tina."
Tina chews her gum loudly, her replacement for not being able to smoke a cigarette, which she knows I won't tolerate inside. She's made a show of putting away her packet of cigarettes, a weird yellow-striped packaging from some brand I've never seen before, and now she's making loud chewing noises with the gum.
Her cold green eyes fix me with the expressionless stare of a fish.
I struggle to hold back a smug smile. She must have noticed I said went to school and not just because we're friends. I doubt that surprises her. We were never friends, her and I. Our rivalry in high school was legendary, and only cooled down when we moved on to different colleges.
She'd always had popularity on her side. There's no question that I'm more of a loner, and when we were in school, she was the one with all the friends. And yet, now, I'm the one hiring, and she's the one looking for a job. And I would lie if I said that didn't give me an evil sort of satisfaction.
Tina, however, seems determined not to let me have this tiny victory. As she chews her gum -- a disgusting habit that reminds me of all the times she was about to deliver a quip in high school -- she nods her head in my direction.
"Whatever you say, boss. I'm gonna bring you lots of clients anyway. You know that's true."
I press my lips together. I already know this is going to be difficult. The way she says boss feels so condescendingly awful that I'm tempted to tell her off right from the start. As for her friends -- frat jocks and insufferable Staceys for the most part -- the prospect of taking their money to boost my own business just feels like comeuppance.
But I hate that she feels it's still a power move to mention them. Like she thinks I'll feel insecure if she brings up that people liked her more readily than they liked me.
In a moment, the old tension returns. Like a field of electricity in the air. I'm thrown back to a time before this café, before college, a time of personal insecurities and drama.
There was no reason for us to hate one another then, and there really isn't now. It's just... put us in the same room, and sparks fly. Like a chemical reaction.
Back in school, I ended up competing with this girl for grades, clothes, boys... soon, the rivalry swallowed everything, even our social lives. She revelled in her popularity, while I flaunted the fact that I had few friends because I handpicked them.
I look around. This is my vibrant, new café. My baby. I meticulously picked the hipster décor and polished surfaces, I took out the huge business loan to make my dream a reality. Do I really want to spoil this new chapter in my life, by forcibly injecting this bitch into it? Isn't she best left in the past, together with acne and high school heartbreaks and all the anxious teen drama we're happy to leave behind when we become adults?
Then, my eyes re-focus on Tina. Her smug expression, the way her long silken black hair frames her pale face to give her that ice queen look men always fawn over, falling head over heels in a way they never have with me.
And that's when I know the truth.
I'm nowhere near as mature a girl as I thought. I want her working here. I want to rub it in her face that I own this place... or I will, when the loan is fully paid, I suppose. I want to lord it over her for once, possibly while her own friends are watching.
I want to win.
"You'll do the afternoon shifts with Alexis," I tell Tina, flashing the most plastic and fake smile I've ever directed at anyone. "Laura and Emily will do the mornings."
All three girls -- a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde respectively, like it's the set up to a bar joke -- are much younger than Tina and I, and need the money to help pay for college. I hope Tina will find it humbling, working alongside girls much younger than her, with me looming above them all.
"Sure," Tina says, in a tone that suggests she couldn't care less about who any of these people are. "So, is that a deal, Audrey?"
I thrust my hand forward, clasping hers in a firm, strong grip that I hope sends tingles of foreboding coursing through her body, much like anticipation is coursing through mine.
Our gazes lock. I see no hesitation in her cold eyes, no defiance. She's used to clashing with me, after all. But this time, I know that I will break her.
And so, with some finality, I seal both our futures with my words.
"It's a deal."
***
One month bleeds into another. One morning blurs into the next. The novelty of bossing Tina around is no longer there, but I have no reason to complain about any of the four girls working under me. It's not their fault that the spring in my step is gone, replaced by my constant worrying at my lower lip, and biting of my nails.
My café... isn't doing so well.
I give a heavy sigh as I sit behind the registry. The morning shift is coming to an end. Laura and Emily are serving the customers with commendable precision... the few that have come round, that is.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised. This is a small, sleepy town. Not much going on. The people here are creatures of habit. It will get time for them to see a visit to this place as part of their daily routine.
But... how much time do I have? Because the loan needs repeating. So far, I've met every payment with punctuality, but I've had to make a few sacrifices here and there. Even worse than the actual financial predicament is my emotional state.
Will I continue making every payment in time? What if I don't? This is what I've always wanted to do with my life, it fits my self-perception to a T, and yet... it isn't working.
Am I a failure? Have I just been deluding myself? Am I a silly girl with silly dreams?
My mood hardly improves when Tina makes her grand entrance into the café, her flat-heeled ankle boots resounding loudly as she marches her way towards the coffeemakers, like a soldier to a post.
Her radiant smile has no hint of warmth. It's a cold and distant thing, like a star in the night sky. And yet, Laura and Emily seem effortlessly taken in by her charm.
The three girls immediately converge, delving into gossip and chatting -- and are joined by Alexis soon after, ready for her own afternoon shift.
The sounds really do feel like they're straight out of high school. Quiet gossiping, loud laughter, a half-contained snigger here and there -- and I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
I resent how effortlessly they mingle. I was hoping this arrangement would humble Tina, but instead she's the one my employees are happy to chat with. Me? I guess I'm too aloof and too somber for them. Or perhaps I'm just the boss.
Be that as it may, the conversation quietens as I approach the girls. They trade looks of mild awkwardness, as if not feeling free to talk gossip in front of their boss. The only exception is, of course, Tina, who matches my gaze with an air of distant contempt that makes blood pump in my veins.
I reflect for a second, pondering various options for small talk I could attempt to kickstart, but after a moment's indecision, I decide not to bother. The girls like Tina more than they like me, so what? Fine. I don't need a team of adoring girls who see me as an inspiring leader, and who want this café to succeed just as badly as I do.
Even though that was one of my daydreams before I actually got started...
Eventually, Laura and Emily leave, while Tina and Alexis get ready to serve drinks and snacks to any incoming clients.
Outside, shadows lengthen as the sun begins to dip in the sky.
And, like every late afternoon, the number of customers begins to climb.
I should be elated about this. In truth, these end-day influxes are the only reason why I'm meeting the loan repayments. But it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth, because, well...
These are Tina's friends.
Her social circle in this town is apparently as lively as ever, even after she spent time away for college. I hate seeing that. I hate that to this day, after years of growth and life plans, she's still so much popular than I am -- and that my financial situation depends on it.
The jocks still look like jocks to me, but they're no longer wannabe-football players. They work at the bank, or in corporate offices in nearby towns, or in construction. They come in here dressed like salary men, but the chiseled jawlines and looks full of mockery are always the same.
The Staceys are dressed like they're straight out of Stepford, and a few sport rings on their fingers. Those who work show up in office attires, nylons and flats much in evidence. They order their drinks and their snacks and chat with Tina. None deigns to throw even one look in my direction.
Sometimes I try to tell myself that I should see this as a good thing, not a bad thing. I'm using Tina's popularity to essentially fund my business venture, after all. But it's not so simple.
When you've had a multi-year rivalry of this kind with another girl, there's a sort of unspoken understanding between you and her, a kind of... killer instinct. I know how important mind games can be. I've played more than a few. And I can recognize when they're being played on me.
If Tina were to walk away, for any reason, I would lose a significant chunk of my customers. That gives her power, and she knows it. I can see it in her eyes, which dart in my direction and glisten with amusement every time a group of her friends enters the café.
I can see it in the confidence she displays, sitting at one of the stools rather than stand by the coffeemakers, one leg draped over the other, a foot bobbing up and down. Dark, form-fitting jeans, dark ankle boots, dark hair... everything is dark except her pale skin, and her piercing eyes, so cold and full of mockery.
She doesn't even look or dress like a waitress.
I can almost hear her thoughts as I throw disapproving glances at her for sitting and lazying around. So what? She's probably thinking. Still bringing more paying customers than you, loser.
And the really infuriating part is that she'd be right.
Alexis doesn't seem to mind Tina's casual attitude towards work, and that baffles me even more. It's like she has this aura, where people kind of expect her to do whatever she wants with no consequence. Indeed, Alexis likes Tina, tries to suck up to her at every opportunity, and is professionally cordial, but distant, with me.
As the fifth group in a row enters to get drinks and snacks, I put my head in my hands. This café was supposed to be my dream.
So why do I feel like the situation is spinning out of my control?
I see Alexis begin to fidget as this fifth group slowly makes its way out of the café, as if she's waiting for the place to be empty enough to bring up something. I see no reason to hurry, so I wait patiently for her to come to me.
Eventually she does, hopping from one foot to the other, her hands running nervously through her flowing chestnut hair.
