Darren sat in the waiting room. The walls were covered in garish wallpaper, except where it was peeling off, the chairs looked like they had been stolen from three separate village halls and the whole office sat on the first floor above a 24 hour garage. Darren tried to look past this, reminding himself that the hypnotherapist he was waiting to see had come highly recommended from a close friend, and was also very reasonably priced. Still, it had been almost half an hour since the appointment was supposed to have started and Darren was growing impatient. He walked up to the receptionist's desk. The receptionist was staring with an unnerving degree of concentration at the wall in front of them, and chewing gum loudly.
"I'm sorry," said Darren, "but my appointment was supposed to be at three twenty, and it's almost four, is the wait going to be much longer?"
The receptionist snapped out of his reverie, and took a moment to regain his thoughts.
"She should be with you shortly," he said. Then after a pensive pause he pressed a couple of buttons on the keyboard.
Within a couple of seconds the door to the office opened and a woman, presumably the hypnotherapist, threw an irate glance at the receptionist and called Darren's name. Darren meandered over from the reception desk and followed her quietly into her office.
Compared to the waiting room the office was almost pleasant. The walls were an unobtrusive off-white, and were bare except for a diploma hung high behind a utilitarian desk. The diploma read "Dr. F Coles," as though it were a name label for the person sitting beneath it. Darren sat opposite her in a noticeably shorter chair, and took a moment to appreciate the potted plant and water cooler flanking the desk.
"So," she said, "what brings you here today?"
"Well," he said, "a friend recommended you, so..."
Darren trailed off and a look of confusion passed over his face; sure, he was certain Dr Coles was among the best hypnotherapists around, but he had no need for a hypnotherapist.
The doctor stifled a thin smile and poured a plastic cup of water, handing it to Darren.
"Here," she said, "it will help to clear your throat."
Darren drank the water gratefully, and returned to the conversation.
"Sorry, I lost my train of thought."
"That's quite alright," she replied, "we were just talking about how you wanted to start hypnotherapy as soon as possible."
"Alright"
"Then let's get started," she gestured over to a couch in the corner next to the door, "please get yourself comfortable on there, oh and finish your drink quickly first."
Darren gulped down the water and sank down into the couch.
"Just relax now," said the doctor, "just focus on my voice, realising now how hard it is to think, how easy it is to just focus. Enjoying that feeling, your thoughts growing more and more sluggish, your mind centred around my words, letting my voice guide you down into trance, deeper and deeper."
She continued for a while, and very quickly Darren's eyes glazed over and his breathing became slow and regular.
"Now, Darren," she said, "what is something recently that has annoyed you?"
After a moment Darren mumbled, "your receptionist chewing loudly."
Dr Coles smiled, "I can work with that, just stay in trance here, Darren, going deeper with each breath, and hear that annoying noise playing over and over again in your mind, but feeling it growing less and less annoying with each repetition, until eventually you start to like it more and more, just letting that happen now..."
She got up and left the room, returning shortly with a pack of gum.
"Now," she said, popping some in her mouth and starting to chew loudly, "how do you feel about this sound?"
"I don't mind it," came the soft murmur in reply.
"No, you don't mind it, in fact soon enough you'll really like it."
She spat out the gum and stuck it behind Darren's ear; he didn't seem to notice.
"Darren," she asked, "have you ever had sex?"
"Yes," he replied.
"In a moment you're going to realise that answer is not true," she asserted, "just bringing all memories of having sex to the front of your mind now, feeling all of those memories flash before your eyes."
There was a noticeable bulge in Darren's trousers.
"Good, Darren, keep that feeling in mind, lock it away for later, even as you begin to feel those memories entering a special bubble, just feeling that now, all memories of ever having sex entering that special bubble, locking that feeling away for later. Now just feeling all those memories in that bubble, 3...2...1 pop! All gone. Now, Darren, have you ever had sex?"
Darren paused for a while then, quietly, answered, "no."
"Good boy, correct answer, I think you deserve a reward"
She pulled an object out of a desk drawer and held it in front of Darren's face.
"What is this, Darren?"
"A fleshlight"
