I know I can't justify what I have done, and I wish there had been another way. I only wanted him to love me the way I had come to love him, but no matter what I tried he refused to see how right we were for each other. When I first met him he was involved with someone else. I understood that. I even gave the stupid bitch a job. I figured that with her working for me he would come into the shop and be able to compare us side by side. Overtime I knew he would see how much better I was for him, and we would be together.
She was never faithful and was always sneaking around behind his back. I never said a word and did my best to be a friend to both of them. Eventually he became suspicious of her, and rather than letting the others go she tried to get him to agree that both of them could see other people. To his credit he said that he loved her and didn't want to see anyone else, so they broke up. Of course I fired her.
I knew that now he would be mine. We talked almost daily and even had lunch together a few times, but all he wanted to talk about was how much he missed her. When she came crying to him and talked about how sorry she was and how much she loved him they got back together. I decided that he was not worth the trouble.
After a few weeks he came in, he talked about what a fool he had been, and said he should never have gotten back together with her. He began to come and see me everyday, and I was sure that he would soon be mine. All he wanted to talk about was how sad he was and how he had given up on love. I tried to encourage him and told him that sometimes real love is closer than you think. He just thanked me for being such a good friend.
I would order lunch from his family's restaurant everyday, and he always delivered it to me. Soon he began to bring his own lunch and said it was easier to eat with me so that he could get a break. I could tell by the way he looked at me that he found me sexually attractive but somehow I could never get him to touch me not even casually when he would reach for a napkin or his drink.
I began to drop hints that we should date. Casual things like mentioning that bands I knew he liked were performing at one of the local clubs, or that a movie he had talked about was opening. He never took the hint. I would "accidentally" run into him around town and he was always nice and polite. We had fun with his friends, but he never caught on.
Sometimes I grew angry and would complain to my mother. She always told me that if I wanted him that I should do something about it. The women in my family had always known how to get men to do want we wanted them too. I had even used these skills once or twice in high school. I always got tired of having them follow me like love struck puppies, and I gave them to girls who needed love. I wanted him to love me for me, not because of some trick or spell.
To be honest, I did try a few tricks. I began to make him special chocolates with a secret ingredient that I produced when I was home alone and thinking of being with him. He never ate them though because he never changed. He seemed to be afraid of me somehow.
I don't know how long this might have gone on, but after few months he told me over lunch that he had met someone new at school. I told him that I was happy for him, but my rage began to build. I was tempted to take him, but I still hoped he would come to me freely. I mixed up a new perfume. I know it worked because I could see the bulge in his pants grow when he was near me. He even told me how much he loved my new perfume. Still he resisted.
I began to make cookies and small cakes and gave them to him with coffee when he would visit me in the morning. I knew they were working too because he began to hug me hello and good-bye, but he still refused to give in to me. I started wearing leather boots and fishnet stockings. He weakened more and would rub my thigh while we sat and ate or talked. I didn't dare go further. I had no desire to break him. I wanted him just like he was but madly in love with me. As a last resort I started to wear low cut tops that showed off my cleavage. Now he was almost drooling as he stared at me when we were together. Why did he fight me?
Finally I asked him why he never asked me out. He said that he was afraid of spoiling our friendship and that he was afraid that one of us might get hurt if we ever became lovers. He confessed that he thought about me a lot but that he needed someone safe because he did not want to be hurt the way he had been before. He explained that he felt safe and in control of his relationship with the new girl and that he was going to ask her to marry him. He even showed me the ring. It was a pretty ¾ caret diamond that he had purchased from his best friend whose father owned the jewelry store at the end of the block. He hugged me and even gave me a kiss on the lips when he left.